There are a total of 103 weapons, costume sets and equipment in the game. If you're playing for the console version, getting all of these will unlock the Full Arsenal trophy/achievement. Getting all the costumes will also unlock the Clothes Whore trophy/achievement. There are a lot of missable equipment and weapons especially during quests so make sure to loot every single container, item bag or knocked out enemies you encounter. Check every nook and cranny of the areas that can be interacted with as well.
The following items are listed alphabetically.
Weapon | How to Acquire |
Alien Probe | Loot it from the chest along the way to the second elevator in the quest“Alien Abduction” |
Alien Ray Gun | In “Alien Abduction”, loot this from one of the defeated aliens |
Archmage's Wand | Shop in Vancouver, Canada |
Axe of Stopping | Kupa Keep Armory |
Axe of the Underworld | In a locked chest in the ceiling of Jimbo's Guns. You can get the key after completing his sidequest. |
Bar Darts | Complete the sidequest “Rats in the Cellar” |
Bastketball | In the cafeteria during the main quest “Attack the School”. Loot the body of the kid beside the door marked “In” to get this item. |
Batdadarang | Mackey's table inside the Community Center |
Battle Bow | Elvenwares shop in the Elven Kingdom |
Billy Club of Smiting | Defeat the guard in Dark Meadows Estates during the quest ”Gate Crashers” |
Broken Bottle | Loot from one of the hobos holding Cornwalis captive in the sidequest “Dropping the Kids Off” |
Canadian Halberd | Shop in Ottawa, Canada |
Chakram | Sparkle Chamber shop |
Chef's Skewer | In the cafeteria during the main quest “Attack the School”. Head to the right of the food counter to find this. |
Claymore of the Warrior | Shop in Ottawa, Canada |
Club of Smiting | Kupa Keep Armory |
Crossbow of Impalement | Jimbo's Guns |
Crutch of Weakness | Defeat Jimmy in the quest “The Bard” then loot his body. |
Dire Scepter | Shop in Banff, Canada. Becomes available after defeating the Bishop. |
Discus of Bleeding | Cathedral in Banff, Canada. You need to destroy the vase on the room to the left and step on the pressure plate to unlock the room containing this chest. |
Dodgeball | Defeat the enemies holding the brass key in “Detention Sentence” then loot their bodies. |
Elf Blade | Elvenwares shop in the Elven Kingdom |
Elvish Longbow | Elvenwares shop in the Elven Kingdom |
Elvish Shortbow | Obtained after defeating the three elves guarding the exit in the Giggling Donkey basement. |
Fairy Princess Blade | Sparkle Chamber shop |
Fairy Princess Bow | Sparkle Chamber shop |
Fatbeard's Blade | Kupa Keep Armory |
Fire Sword | Kupa Keep Armory |
Flamberge Rapier | Shop in Winnipeg, Canada |
Gnome Pickaxe | After killing the three rats in the third area, you'll find this inside the item bag to the right. (Quest: Defeat the Underpants Gnome) |
Grenade of Slowing | In a locked chest in the ceiling of Jimbo's Guns. You can get the key after completing his sidequest. |
Holy Hammer of Smiting | Defeat the first nazi zombie gingers during the main quest “Attack the School”. |
Holy Mossad Knife | Shop in Banff, Canada |
Jewish Staff | Kupa Keep Armory |
Kenny's Bloody Club | In a chest on the roof of his house's garage |
Knead Ring, The Dough Hammer | Sparkle Chamber shop |
Kris Dagger | Kupa Keep Armory |
Lawn Dart | In a chest in the Dark Castle's first floor. |
Lightning Wand | Kupa Keep Armory |
Longbow | Elvenwares shop in the Elven Kingdom |
Mace of Restoration | Loot Hallway Monitor Boss' body in “Detention Sentence” to get the key. Loot his body then open the locker to the lower left, in the first hallway to get the Mace of Restoration. |
Magic Staff | Kupa Keep Armory |
ManBearPig Claw | Defeat Al Gore disguised as ManBearPig in the sidequest “Defeat ManBearPig” |
Master Razor | Found in the item bag in the same spot where the nazi zombie gnomes are hanging around under the floor during the quest “Unplanned Parenthood” |
Missile of Slowing | Kevin Stoley, reward for completing the sidequest “Vulcan Around” |
Mongorian Bow | Defeat the mongolian kids on the second floor of the Tower of Peace and loot their bodies. |
Noob Hammer | Kupa Keep Armory |
Poison Grenades | Inside the drawer beside the Operating Room A in the abortion clinic. You can access it during the quest “Unplanned Parenthood”. |
Raider's Blade | Elvenwares shop in the Elven Kingdom |
Rod of Major Boobage | Mackey's table inside the Community Center |
Rod of Waste | In a chest beside the valve which will lower the sewer sludge level. |
Rogue's Dagger | Kupa Keep Armory |
Serrated Axe of Rending | Chest, northwest corner of the Duke's palace. Destroy the wall to access it. |
Sickle Sword of the Faithful | Kupa Keep Armory |
Slashing Blade of the Ranger | Defeat Stan during the main quest “Attack the School” |
Staff of Winter | Kupa Keep Armory |
Star Wand | Chest inside the 4th Grade room. |
Stone Hammer | In a chest on the roof of the military headquarters on the crash site. |
Super Bouncy Ball | Shortly after entering the mouse hole, go around the mousetrap to the left the climb the stapled wires on the wall to reach the item bag containing this item. (Quest: Defeat the Underpants Gnome) |
Super Cereal ManBearPig Club | Defeat Al Gore in “Unfriend Al Gore” to get his Secret Room Key. Enter the room then loot the chest inside. |
Sweet Katana | Jimbo's Guns |
Sword of Endings | Elvenwares shop in the Elven Kingdom |
Vibroblade | After reaching the smartphone where Big Gay Al rings, kill the bacteria and loot this from it. |
Warrior Blade | Kupa Keep Armory |
Warrior Longsword | Jimbo's Guns |
Warrior's Scimitar | Kupa Keep Armory |
Wooden Crossbow | Jimbo's Guns |