Top 10 Best Video Game Girlfriends

08. Mindy Simmons (The Simpsons)

Forget for a moment that she is the only woman working in an entire division of men at the power plant - and you really have to try hard (and we mean really REALLY hard) to forget that she is actually very hot underneath that librarian outfit she wears to try not to look hot!

You also need to put out of mind the fact that Mindy has the confidence to not only work along side the men, but spar with them on their terms - and win more often than not.

The thing is, there is something that you don't know - and that at the last minute they decided not to reveal in this episode! In fact they may never choose to reveal it - but then again the inclusion of Mindy in the Freemium Grinder Tapped Out suggests that they might actually eventually get around to telling the rest of the story...

It is in this episode that we are first introduced to the character of Mindy -- and when we are first confronted by the reality that pretty much everybody wants to 'do' her from Homer to Lenny, and from Carl to Comic Book Guy.

These guys are not messing around in their heads - they got some serious intent going on there! Now speaking only as a Catholic can speak.

I happen to know that in carnal terms the thought is just as bad as the deed - and even if Homer wasn't already going to burn in Hell for all the bad things he has said and done - and thought - in his life, the things he is thinking about doing to Mindy would pretty much doom him.

Anyway the events of that episode confirm as fact something that we have long suspected - if given the opportunity most of the men in Springfield would in fact cheat on their spouses - including Ned (though as Ned's wife is technically dead would it really be cheating??

Events unfold in the episode that come very colose to driving Mr. Burns insane - proof of that being that when he is forced to hire a woman in order to comply with the gender clause of the equal opportunity laws he ends up picking a good looking (oh hell, a HOT) woman rather than an arf-er that would, at least, given the men on the job half-a-chance!

So yeah, that is how Mindy Simmons comes on the job - and even now Homer still doesn't know that Mindy Simmons is his HALF-SISTER (yes, it is 50-shades of Princess Leia Organa - as Abe Simpson knocked her Mum up in a drunken encounter that took place at a truck stop in Washington State when he was having marital issues).

Clearly Mindy doesn't know or even suspect either because we eventually learn that she - like Homer - has a heart of gold and is, like Homer, a victim of pheromones, hormones, and nature.

'Homer you know how I feel, so it's up to you,' Mindy whispers. 'Look in your heart. I think you'll see what you want,' she says.

The apple did not fall far from the tree when Abe was getting jiggy-wid-it! If you needed more proof that they are brother-and-sister, consider the following facts:

- When Homer was on the small lift with Mindy he had to close his eyes and think about unsexy thoughts to avoid becoming aroused to her...

- When Homer and Mindy were on the small lift MINDY had to close her eyes and think about unsexy thoughts to avoid becoming aroused to HIM...

- Both drool whenever they think about food in exactly the same way.

- Have the same reaction to Donuts: 'Mmmm, Donuts.'

- Both feel the strong urge to take a daily nap before they have their lunch.

- Both really love Duff Beer.

- Both really love bowling.

- Both consider foot-long chilli-cheese-dogs haute cuisine.

- Favorite Donut is the raspberry swirl with a double glaze.

- Both prefer to eat their whipped cream straight from the can.

There are plenty more examples but at this point it is getting to be over-kill...

So we come down the real issue here - does Mindy make a great Video Game Girlfriend?

Well obviously the answer is no, not for Homer Simpson - but for the rest of us? Sure! She is pretty, she is hot, she has a heart of gold and has no problem following a male lead. That is all serios points in her favor - but now we get to the truly critical and inportant bits:

- She can eat anything she wants and not gain weight (thus remaining hawt!)

- She loves Duff Beer.

- She loves Chilli-Cheese-Dogs.

- She loves Donuts.

- She loves pre-lunch naps (code for quickies).

- She loves Canned Whip Cream (code for oral sex games).

- She loves raspberry swirl with a double glaze.

She is almost the prefect woman and definately Videogame Girlfriend Material! Unfortunately she does have some negatives we have to take into account:

- She is a Ginger and Her Name is Mindy (almost but not quite a deal-breaker).

- She is a member of the Plant Worker Collection.

- She rides a motorcycle better than we do...

- She is pushing 40 (only a few good years left on her)

- She has Michelle Pfeiffer's Voice.

- Is Best Mates with Lurleen Lumpkin.

- Has a 'Bottle' Problem.

- Is Unemployed...

Well there you have it - it is on you to determine whether any of the above are 'deal breakers' in terms of selecting Mindy as your Video Game Girlfriend.

Posted: 17th Jul 2014 by CMBF
Tags: Xbox One, Xbox 360, PlayStation 4, PlayStation 3,