The SuperCheats Top 10 Launch Day Excuses

06. Witness / Police Report

This one falls into the annual excuse category, being a very good excuse but is one you ideally only use once a year.

The setup for this should not be overly complicated, and we would suggest avoiding using the whole “I saw a traffic accident” excuse because why? Because that is the one that ALWAYS gets used and you cannot blame HR for being suspicious.

So what is a good reason to use? My neighbor and his wife got into it and he was tuning up on her in the yard. The cops say I gotta come down this morning and make a witness statement. I wish I had the brains to stay inside my freaking house, sheesh!

Caption: Can you imagine the paperwork involved in documenting this take-down?? But hey, you get to play as all-around good-guy Detective Marcus Reed (Avery Kidd Waddell), supported by colorful characters like Isaiah Reed (Laurence Fishburne), Terrence Higgins (Mickey Rourke), Deena Dixon (Mariska Hargitay), and Madam Cassandra Hartz (Traci Freaking Lords no less!). Then there is the Fed - F.B.I. Agent Gabriel Whitting - played by Christopher Walken, and hey, this must be what they mean by “All Star Cast” right?

Another good one is: My neighbor's on vacation and two guys in a van pulled up so like an idiot I called the cops. Turned out they did not exactly have permission to borrow the lawn mower and tools from the garage. The cops told me to come in today and make my witness statement. I don't know how long this is going to take.

This will be accepted by HR because they know that when you report a crime - or when you are dumb enough to let the police become aware that you actually witnessed the crime - they will require you to come in on your own dime to make a witness statement.

Not doing so once you are told to can actually get you in trouble in some states.

The beauty of this one is that it actually sets you up for more than one Launch Day off!

You get to stay home and game without getting in trouble at work today, and then in a month or so you can tell your boss that next Thursday (or you know, whenever Halo 5 is launching) you have to go down to the courthouse to be deposed.

Not only that but a few weeks or month later you can use that excuse again! Either another deposition or the trial - and trials are lovely for taking more than one day off since as a witness you are required to be in the courthouse until you are called - and hey, they did not call you today!

Honestly the court day one we would save for a really great game you want to devote at least two days to. Just be sure at some point you actually DO visit the local courthouse so you know if there is a coffee stand, or what restaurants are nearby to have convincing details to use later when you tell your court war story.

Posted: 16th Aug 2015 by CMBF