Grand Theft Auto 3 Double Cleff FM Script by: Klaydoggy Created: 1/11/08 What is this? Well, I was thinking about some of the weird things Morgan says in this, and was going to look some of it up... and realized there was no typed script! So I typed one out. I hope you enjoy. Legal stuff? -All the dialogue is copyrighted and owned by Rockstar Games. It was written by Dan Houser and Lazlow Jones, and performed by Gerry Cosgrove. -All musical recordings are courtesy of Opera d'Oro Records and Allegro Corporation. -Double Clef vs. Double Cleff The artwork for the game only shows 1 "f" in the name (i.e. Double Clef.) But, when you actually play the game, and in the instruction book, it is shows with 2 "f"'s. So I used 2 when typing this out. Deal with it. -Comments, Corrections, want to use it on your site? email me at [email protected]. I'm not going to be all "you MUST ask my permission FIRST!" because that wouldn't really stop anyone.. so I'll ask politely that you email me and ask if you can use it on your site. I'll most likely say yes, on the terms you put my name on the credit for it. Also, it helps me keep track of where my FAQs go. And as always, if you feel I have made a typo, or got something wrong, please let me know. -I have included the lyrics to the songs in their respective language (see: Italian.) Enjoy!, and as always... Long Live GTA! ---------------------------------------------------------------- Double Cleff FM Starring: Gerry Cosgrove as Morgan Merryweather Morgan: You are listening to The Fat Lady Sings, on Double Cleff FM. I'm Morgan Merryweather, but please, call me the Maestro. Song #1 - "Non piu andrai farfallone amoroso" from "Le Nozze di Figaro" written by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Performed by Sesto Bruscantini and Teresa Berganza, with the Orchestra e Corodi Roma della RAI. Conducted by Zubin Mehta Non pi� andrai, farfallone amoroso, Notte e giorno d'intorno girando, Delle belle turbando il riposo, Narcisetto, Adoncino d'amor. Delle belle turbando il riposo, Narcisetto, Adoncino d'amor. Non piu avrai questi bei penacchini, Quel cappello leggiero e galante, Quella chioma, quell'aria brillante, Quel vermiglio donnesco color, Quel vermiglio donnesco color, Non pi� andrai, farfallone amoroso, Notte e giorno d'intorno girando, Delle belle turbando il riposo, Narcisetto, Adoncino d'amor. Delle belle turbando il riposo, Narcisetto, Adoncino d'amor. Fra guerrieri, poffar Bacco! Gran mustacchi, stretto sacco, Schioppo in spalla, sciabla al fianco, Collo dritto, muso franco, Un gran casco, o un gran turbante, Molto onor, poco contante, poco contante, poco contante, Ed in vece del fandango, Una marcia per il fango. Per montagne, per valloni, Con le nevi, e i solioni, Al concerto di tromboni, Di bombarde, di cannoni, Che le palle in tutti i tuoni, Non pi� andrai, farfallone amoroso, Notte e giorno d'intorno girando, Delle belle turbando il riposo, Narcisetto, Adoncino d'amor. Delle belle turbando il riposo, Narcisetto, Adoncino d'amor. Cherubino, alla vittoria! Alla gloria militar! Cherubino, alla vittoria! Alla gloria militar! Alla gloria militar! Alla gloria militar! Morgan: MMMMMMMMmmmmmmm, that was magnificent. A very emotional piece, this next one. Molto adagio! Lovely, twinkling, radiant, marvelous. Double Cleff FM. Song #2 - "O mio babbino caro" from "Gianni Schicchi." Written by Giacomo Puccini, performed by Tito Gobbi, Cecilia Fusco and Renzo Casellato with the RAI Orchestra & Chorus, Milan. Conducted by Massimo Pradella. O mio babbino caro, mi piace � bello, bello; vo'andare in Porta Rossa a comperar l'anello! S�, s�, ci voglio andare! e se l'amassi invano, andrei sul Ponte Vecchio, ma per buttarmi in Arno! Mi struggo e mi tormento! O Dio, vorrei morir! Babbo, piet�, piet�! Babbo, piet�, piet�! Commercial #1 - Dormatron Female: I've tried everything, and I just couldn't keep those extra 200 pounds off. It started to affect my marriage. Male: She was too big for me, and I'll sleep with anything! Female: The Abdomitrex, Thighasizer, tummy-stapling. I've had my mouth sewn up, my hands chopped off, you name it, I've tried it. Male: Ya, except for exercising and eating right, Porky! Female: That's right, honey. Then I found the Dormatron. Using a new technology called Biorythmicsubconciousgymnastics the Dormatron exercises you while you sleep. Just strap in your arms and legs, put on the Dormatron headset, then wrap yourself in the special high-voltage, electric blanket. Turn it on to 11, and burn those pounds away while you have a relaxing nights sleep. Now that I've lost 280 pounds, my husband's all mine again. Male: That's right, honey. No more escort services for me! Announcer: Don't be fat a day longer than you have to. Remember, being fat can ever ruin a romantic cruise. Call Dormitron now at 1-800-sleepofflard, or visit www.sleepofflard.com, and sleep your way to a thinner, happier you. Commercial #2 - House of Tomorrow Female: In today's fast paced world, a split-second can be the difference between achieving your dreams... Man 1: Hey, I just won the Nobel Peace Prize! Female: And not... Man 1: Huh, I wonder if wrestling's on tonight. Female: More Americans are realizing if you don't have the latest and greatest technological devices, you will fall behind. Man 2: I didn't upgrade my personal organizer, and two days later I was diagnosed with a terminal illness. Female: That's exactly why you should come visit the friendly people at House of Tomorrow, and they'll set you up with all your 21st century technology needs. Man 3: I only spent $20,000 and now I can get e-mail in the shower, or surf the Internet while I'm driving. I was bored stupid at my daughter's recitals and my son's little-league games. Thanks to House of Tomorrow, I can play wireless head-to-head 3D virtual reality poker, literally anywhere! Female: If it's a flash-in-the-pan technology of absolutely no use to anyone, you can find it at House of Tomorrow. Remember, only technology makes life worth living. House of Tomorrow, we'll upgrade your system then you can upgrade your life!" Commercial #3 - Eris Running Shoes Man: A good shoe starts from the ground up. At Eris, we make high-quality footwear. In fact, you can find Eris running shoes in over 140 countries around the world. In the past, there's been some criticism about our workers. That's why I'm here at one of the Eris factories so you can meet some of them. Excuse me sir, do you enjoy your job here? Kid: It's fun, we get to play with knives! Man: Heh, I see. Is there a real sense of teamwork? Kid: My friend Joey sewed his hands together! Man: Wow, you're learning some real skills. How about the salary, and benefits? Kid: Yesterday, I made a dollar! Man: You see, that's the kind of dedication we have to our employees, and the quality of our shoes. Eris running shoes, always running, from something. Morgan: The inspiration for this next record comes from Dante's Inferno. Originally transcribed in braille, to a chaste Belgian monk, after he lost his hearing. This powerful fume can overpower the senses, much like a 12-year-old nephew who lets you bounce him on your knee, one last time. Molto adagio. Song #3 - "Libiamo ne'lieti calici" from "La Treviata." Written by Guiseppe Verdi. Performed by Renata Scotto, Jose Carreras and Sesto Bruscantini. Conducted by Nino Verchi. Libiamo, libiamo ne�lieti calici che la belleza infiora. E la fuggevol ora s�inebrii a volutt�. Libiamo ne�dolci fremiti Che suscita l�amore, Poich� quell�ochio al core Omnipotente va. Libiamo, amore fra i calici Pi� caldi baci avr�. Libiamo, amore fra i calici Pi� caldi baci avr�. Tra voi, tra voi sapr� dividereil tempo mio giocondo Tutto � follia nel mondo ci� Che non � piacer. Godiam, fugace e rapido E�il gaudio dell�amore, E�un fior che nasce e muore, Ne pi� si pu� goder. Godiam, c�invita un fervido accento lusighier. Godiamo, la tazza e il cantico la notte abbella e il riso. in questo paradiso ne sopra La vita � nel tripudio Quando non s�ami ancora. Nol dite a chi l�ignora, E� il mio destin cos�... Godiamo, la tazza e il cantico la notte abbella e il riso; in questo paradiso ne sopra il nuovo d�. Morgan: Aah, just like Fellini's Lolita... innocent, yet endlessly corrupting. MMMMmmmmmm. Those of you who read my weekly memoirs, Entertainmon, in The Liberty Tree, will understand how important this next movement is to me, Morgan Merryweather. Double Cleff FM. Song #4 - "Chi mi frena in tal momento" from "Lucia di Lammermoor." Written by Gaetano Donizetti. Performed by Renata Scotto, Luciano Pacarotti, and Piero Cappuccilli with the Orchestra Sinfonica e Coro di Toreno della RAI. Conducted by Franchesco Molinari Pradelli. -Note from Klaydoggy, this one is a weird one to type lyrics for, seeing as the song has more than one singer, singing different lyrics at the same time. so, when they are side by side, it means they are sang together... you'll figure it out. Chi mi frena in tal momento? Chi mi frena il mio furore Chi tronc� dell'ira il corso? e la man che al brando corse? Il suo duolo, il suo spavento Della misera in favore son la prova d'un rimorso! nel mio petto un grido sorse! Ma, qual rosa inaridita, E' mio sangue! l'ho tradita, ella sta fra morte e vita ella sta fra morte e vita Io son vinto, son commosso! Ahi! che spegnere non posso T'amo ingrata, t'amo ancor! i rimorsi del mio cor. Io sperai che a me la vita tronca avesse il mio spavento Ma la morte non m'aita Vivo ancor per mio tormento! Da' miei lumi cadde il velo, mi trad� la terra e il cielo! Vorrei pianger, ma non posso, M'abbandona il pianto ancor! Qual terribile momento! Pi� formar non so parole Densa nube velo di spavento par che copra i rai del sole! Come rosa inaridita ella sta fra morte e vita Chi per lei non � commosso ha di tigre in petto il cor. Morgan: MMMMMMMmmmmmm. Oh, that one reminds me of that lovely summer I spent reading Proust in the original Italian. Commercial #4 - Fernando's New Beginnings Fernando: Has your marriage gone stale? Has the spark gone out of your love life? Looking to add a little adventure to the monotony of monogamy? Hello, I am Fernando Martinez, founder of Fernando's New Beginnings. A revolutionary new way of saving your marriage. We understand how two kids and a mortgage can take the passion out of your life. With our three step program, you'll re-discover romance, guaranteed. Phil: Hi, my name's Phil. I've got three kids, two cars and a mortgage. My love life was going stale, even before my wife's car accident. Then I called New Beginnings. Thanks to Fernando, I'm still married, but on Wednesday afternoons, I meet Barbara at the motel by the turnpike. Fernando: See? The passion, she is back. Phil's marriage, is saved. And his kids will have a daddy to look up to. Call New Beginnings today. Cinco cinco cinco, nueve dos nueve dos. It will be a miracle, I guarantee it. Fernando's New Beginnings, we turn an ending, into a new beginning. Commercial #5 - Maibatsu Monstrosity Woman: Phil and I just had another kid, so of course we need a bigger SUV. Being a mom is hard; with soccer, football and lacrosse practice. So we bought the new Maibatsu Monstrosity. It's so big, we lost little Joey in the back and couldn't find him for and hour! When I'm rushing to the mall, or talking on my cell phone, I know me and my family are safe. The Maibatsu Monstrosity has 4-wheel drive. And in amphibious mode, it can cross rivers. So far I've only hit a few puddles, but it's good to know it's there. With the time I save taking shortcuts through the strip-mall parking lot, I can focus on the important things; like gazing longingly at the pool boy, or buying more exercise equipment off the TV. So what if it gets 3 miles to the gallon? I'm a mom, not a conservationist. The new Maibatsu Monstrosity, mine is bigger! Morgan: MMMMMMMmmmmmm. Now, more hits from the 60's, 1760's that is. Hahahaha. Song #5 - "La Donna E Mobile" from "Rigoletto." Written by Guiseppe Verdi. Performed by Luciano Pavarotti and Renata Scotto with the Orchestra and Chorus of Teatro Comunale of Florence. Conducted by Massimo Pradella. La donna � mobile Qual piuma al vento, Muta d'accento, e di pensiero. Sempre un amabile, Leggiadro viso, In pianto o in riso, � menzognero. La donna � mobile qual piuma al vento Muta d'accento e di pensier! e di pensier! e di pensier! � sempre misero Chi a lei s'affida, Chi le confida, mal cauto il cuore! Pur mai non sentesi Felice appieno Chi su quel seno, non liba amore! La donna � mobile qual piuma al vento, Muta d'accento e di pensier! e di pensier! e di pensier! Morgan: I think that last piece really says something important about texture, don't you? I like to listen to this next movement while enjoying a fine chardonnay, and a warm brie at my summer retreat in the Catskills. Song #6 - "Finch'han del vino" from "Don Giovanni." Written by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozat. Performed by Sesto Bruscantini, Nicolai Ghiaurov and Alfredo Kraus with the Orchestra e Corodi Roma della RAI. Conducted by Carlo Maria Guilini. Finch' han del vino calda la testa, Una gran festa fa' preparar. Se trovi in piazza qualche ragazza, Teco ancor quella cerca menar. Senza alcun ordine la danza sia, Chi 'l minuetto chi la follia, Chi l' alemanna farai ballare. Ed io frattanto dall' altro canto Con questa e quella vo' amoreggiar. Ah la mia lista doman mattina D' una decina devi aumentare. Morgan: MMMMMMMmmmmmmm. ------------------------------------------------------------------ That would be it. -Klaydoggy