Advice hints and tips for Guitar Hero

Advice

Easy:

For: Beginners

Notes: Green, Red and Yellow

Overview: This level is for people who have just started, never picked up or even touched the game, or for people who just want to listen to the game's rendition, (version,) of some sweet songs. Notes come slowly, and are very easy to hit.

Advice: If you need help on Easy, either start playing another game, or have your friends lob rocks at you to practice your hand-eye coordination and reflexes, cause you are either a noob, or a sorry excuse for a gamer. (No offense)

Medium:

For: Novices (A bit better than beginner; someone who has mastered Easy and needs a challenge)

Notes: Green, Red, Yellow and Blue

Overview: OK, getting a bit more challenging here. You ready for this, maggot?! You better be, because this time, the notes are a bit faster, and now your pinky gets to join in the finger exercise program, and his best friend/target is the blue button. (If you don't know what blue is, go to the eye doctor for you being color blind, or get off the computer, and get your mommy to drive you down to the nearest preschool, cause you need help!!!) This time around, the notes are faster and tighter together, with the addition of chords (two notes together). It's like Easy was Kindergarten, and now you're in Elementary school.

Advice: Use your pinky to hit those blue notes; not your ring finger, cause that's just asking for a cramp.

Hard:

For: People who think that just because they got through Medium with flying colors, they can breeze through Hard, and just need a good kick in the @$$.

Notes: Green, Red, Yellow, Blue, and Orange

Overview: Alright, you passed Medium and feel pretty good about yourself. Well, bottle up that feeling, put it on the closest shelf in your mind, and hold onto it for dear life, cause if you're not totally prepared, Hard is going to rip you to shreds like a lion to a steak around your neck. And, introducing... The orange button! This is where it gets tricky and annoying. You'll now have to shift your hand down to hit that orange note with your pinky, and then back to get a green note or two. Only for people who are confident in themselves, or for those who want to get sick of this game, but can't because it's too addicting to stop and it's eating up your free will. I should know; Look at me: I'm actually spending my valuable time writing this crap to help all you people, when I should be studying, or hanging out with my gf.

Advice: Stretch out that pinky, because that orange note's a bitc*!

Expert:

For: (Duh!) Experts

Notes: All five

Overview: Take your scariest horror film, and skip ahead to that scene where the girl is about to get it and lets out that high-pitched scream. Guess what? That's what your going to be doing when your done humiliating yourself. When you're down on the ground, rocking back and forth in the fetal position sucking your thumb wishing you still had your security blanket, listening to the video crowd booing you off the stage, you'll be thinking to yourself: "Why?! What made me stupid enough to think I could still do this?! Why didn't I just stay in the safety and security of the Hard area?!" In other words: IF YOU EVEN THINK OF DOING EXPERT, DROP THE GAME RIGHT NOW, AND KEEP BANGING YOUR HEAD WITH A SNOW SHOVEL UNTIL THAT SUICIDAL, UNHOLY THOUGHT GOES OUT WITH HALF YOUR MEMORY AND YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS! Unless, that is, you think you're good enough. (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Advice: Just steer clear of this level entirely, until you can play 'Cheat on the Church" on hard with 100% of the notes hit.

(P.S. If you were offended by any of the hilarious comments said here, I have two words of advice for you: "Lighten... Up!"

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