Complete walkthrough of conker by decdec0
Conker: Live & Reloaded on SuperCheats.com
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  Conkers: Live and Reloaded                                 FAQ/Walkthrough
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*                              <!> wARNING <!>                               *
*                                                                            *
*       DUE TO THE CONTENT OF THE GAME THIS GUIDE MAY NOT BE SUITABLE        *
*      FOR UNDER 18s OR ANYONE WHO FINDS SWEARING OR HUMOR INTOLLERABLE      *
*                                                                            *
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Table of Contents
==============================================================================

[1] Introduction

[2] Overview
----[2a] Prologue
-----[2b] Characters
------[2c] Controls
-------[2d] Generic Tips

[3] Chapter Walkthrough
----[3a] Hungover
-----[3b] Windy
------[3c] Barn Boys
-------[3d] Windy once more
--------[3e] Bats Tower
---------[3f] Windy again
----------[3g] Sloprano
-----------[3h] Uga Buga
------------[3i] Windy visit the fourth
-------------[3j] Spooky
--------------[3k] It's War
---------------[3l] Heist

[4] Cash Locations

[5] Multiplayer Tips     <*>
----[5a] Classses        <*>
-----[5b] Controls       <*>
------[5c] Generic Tips  <*>
-------[5d] Upgrades     <*>
--------[5e] Unlockables <*>

[6] Extras
----[6a] The Great Mighty Poo Song (uncut) 
------[6b] A Tribute to Gregg        <*>
-------[6c] Fave Quotes              <*>
--------[6d] The issue of Censorship <*>
---------[6e] Easter Eggs            <*>


<*> = Incomplete or not started yet

==============================================================================
[1] Introduction
==============================================================================

Conker's Bad Fur day was Rare's last title on the N64 and was declared an
instant classic. It combinded platforming, shooting and down right crude humor
to shock the players. It is an excellent game and I am glad they remade it as
I never had a chance to play it first time round so now I can.

This walkthrough will eventually cover EVERYTHING I can think about this game,
I will first complete the single player walkthrough then I will finish off 
everything else.

Just in case you are wondering I am English and I really enjoy drinking tea
because it is jolly good and I also have shockingly bad teeth my good fellow.

Anyway, turn the Xbox on and let's get on with this pile of shit.

==============================================================================
[2] Overview
==============================================================================
[2a] The Prologue
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Story.... yeah well -- Conker does not exactly follow the most precise and
easy to follow structure. Basically, to sum it up:

Conker gets drunk at the Cock and Plucker with some strangers he met that were
going to war. Suddenly he feels overwhelmed with the drink and decides to head
back home in a sorry state. However he hasn't quite got all his senses with
him so he sort of goes the wrong way and ends up passing out in a field far
away from home. The story then jumps around in an incredibly random manner,
play on to find out for yourself.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[2b] Characters
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Conker - The beer and money loving red squirrel. Likes to get tanked every
         night with random people. He is probably the nicest character in the
         game as he only swears a few times and he helps many people. This
         game is all about his bad fur day.

Berri - Conker's girlfriend is not seen much in the story and their
        relationship is not to good either, even from the start. Conker does
        not say much about her but all we know is that she is the only one
        he really likes in the entire game.

Birdy - A scarecrow who likes drink and smells. He helps Conker a bit of help
        in drunken conversations they have when Conker is still hung over.

Gregg - Gregg the grimreaper is a weird fellow and quite misleading. He's very
        short and really hates cats and undead. Conker bumps into this not
        very scary fellow twice throughout the game.

Panther King - The fabled panther king is only seen as a story in Conker's
               world but he's real and he's hunting down Conker to turn him
               into a new table leg. He loves milk.

Franky - This hoping pitchfork sees Conkers as his best friend in the world.
         He is very helpful against hay but that's about it, what a loser.

Rodent - This little grey squirrel is one of Conker's old pals and they meet
         again during the war. He is fairly useless and annoying just like
         everyone else Conker meets.

Tediz - These evil nazi boys are prepared to tear any squirrel limb from limb.
        Teach them a lesson and make stuffing fly.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[2c] Controls
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There are several controls to learn but everything is simple so no worries.

>> Basic

Move around - Left stick
Look around - Right stick

Weapons - Press B to equip and press R trigger to swing

Jump - A button
Crouch - R Trigger

>> Advanced

Special move - Press B on a context pad (B PAD) or when a lightbulb appears

Spring Jump - Hold R Trigger then press A to spring high in the air
Tail Spin - In the middle of a jump press and hold A to hover with your tail

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[2d] Generic Tactics
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

<> In doubt tail spin across a jump to be on the safe side

<> Look out for any subtle clues the game gives you

<> Bosses almost always need to be defeated using something in the area

<> Always take time to adjust the camera for a jump

<> Make sure you are careful when jumping, Conker is hurt loads by falls

<> Choclate respawns after 30 seconds or so

>> More tips when I have the brain power to think of them...
==============================================================================
[3] Single Player
==============================================================================
[3a] Hungover
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scaredy Birdy
-------------

Conker will wake up complaining, moody and drunk. He sure is right. IT IS
"one of those days". Walk him over to the scare crow. To initate a rather
drunken conversation. Afterwards go behind him and step on the B PAD and
follow his instructions. This will give Birdy a beer. Go over to the other
B PAD and use it to take Conker's "Feel Good" drink. You will then have a bit
more freedom.

Jump into the water and swim over to the waterfall making sure to climb onto
the rock in the centre before falling down. You then must jump over to the log
ahead and follow the path  until you reach a door. Pass it and then jump your
way upwards till you reach a bridge with a huge gargoyle on it. Pull the lever
by the way you came up by grabbing it (jump) and pressing B. This will open
the door. Make your way back to the door and head through.

Pan Handler
-----------

Try chasing the key around for a while and Conker will decide to get a weapon.
With frying pan in hand you can now battle those Green Imps. Run up to them
and try out a combo (R, pause, R, R). The pause need only be short. After this
the key will be released, knock it down and pick up the key and shove it in
the lock to be able to leave.

Climb back up the platforms up to where the gargoyle is and walk upto him and
hit him with the frying pan to start the Gargoyle's desmise.

Gargoyle
--------

Climb up onto the rock the gargoyle was crushed by and then tail spin to the
B PAD. The rock will be removed and then you can head through the tunnel to
the next area.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[3b] Windy
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mrs Bee
-------

Head down the slope and to your right to find mrs Bee. You will need to get
back her hive for some cash. Go the other way to the wasps (left from the
sign post) and follow the path round killing the green imp on the way. Grab
the hive and run as fast as possible back to mrs Bee. Get your first $100!

Go over the bridge and over to the B PAD on the ground. Buy the instruction
booklet and then use your slingshot to kill the Dung-bettles on the logs.
There are 4 of them and they each take 2 shots. Climb up towards the door you
opened and head through it to reach barn boys.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[3c] Barn Boys
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Marvin
------

Cross over the river and turn right up the slope. Here you will see a mouse
running about scaring the er... "pink block". You will need to feed the mouse
chesse to get rid of him. Go back down the slope and go round the other route.
Go underneath the thwomp-esque blocks and you will reach Burt's cheese farm.
Go in and knock down one of the pieces of cheese and take it all the way back
to Marvin. You cannot jump and if you get hurt or fall any distance the piece
of cheese will be mashed. So head past the thwomp-esque blocks by keeping to
the sides and timing to go when they are heading towards you. You will need
to repeat the process twice more and then Marvin will explode. Problem solved.

Climb on top of the pink block and spring jump onto the pipes on the wall.
Work your way up onto the roof of the barn and press the switch to open
the door. Make sure you also grab the $100 on the barn roof. Now drop off the
roof at the end with the money on and head left to find the barn entrance.
Head inside...

Mad Pitchfork
-------------

On entry you will notice 8 jumping pieces of hay. They are key to the next
fight. Walk over to the right to find the pitchfork.

BOSS: Franky

Pitchfork Franky has one attack, jab (amazing huh). He will draw back and then
pelt forwards to jab you. The idea is to make the pitchfork jab and destroy
every piece of hay until he becomes weary. To do this stand by the hay and
when he gets close jump and tail spin for as long as possible until he jabs
and destroys the hay. As soon as he destroys the last bundle of hay he will
complain of being too tierd and kill himself. Head outside the barn now.

Sunny Days
----------

On exit king Bee will address you and tell you of a big busted babe, Conker is
naturally interested but slightly confused. You must go over to the sunflower
now. Head past the Twycross jumping wooden crate and follow the cliff walk
round to the sunflower. She will tell you that you have a very tickly tail.
You will now have to find 5 sets of bees. Here are the bee sets that you need
to gather.

- Head back to the twycross wooden crate for the first set.
- Go past the king bee and barn entrance towards burt's farm for the second
set.
- Go past the jumping crates and down behind the barn by the trash for the
third set.
- Go back on top of the barn by climbing the pink block and pipes for the
forth set. Go back to the entrance to this world by passing over the very
shallow part of the stream for the fifth set. Then go up the slope to the
sunflower.

Do not fall in the deep water at any stage or all the bees you have will fly
away. Once the flower has been err.... Pollunated then bounce on her breasts
to reach the wad of cash in the cliff side. Another $100!

Barry + Co.
-----------

From the sunflower go round the cliff until you reach the twycross wooden
crate. Wait till it gets to the barn window and then jump inside. A couple of
bats will decide to pick on you now. All you have to is get along the rafters
to the B PAD. You can either spin tail jump to each large platform or balance
along the small rafters pressing B when a bat comes near. I don't do the
latter because it can be risky so it's best to just jump across to the large
platforms. When you reach the B PAD start throwing the knives at the hanging
pitchfork to make it fall. Jump down after him, watch the movie and then jump
onto the pitchfork.

Buff You
--------

BOSS: Haybot

To beat this boss you must be on the pitchfork. Pogo your way over to it and
press B to jab it. This will set him on fire, to avoid being hit keep moving
and attack him from behind. If you are hit runaway and jump on the pitchfork
again. After 3 successful jabs he will be defeated.... kinda.

Haybot Wars
-----------

BOSS: Haybot

AFter the cutscenes it will be clear he is not done for yet. Now he's slightly
tricker. Jump on the pitchfork and pogo away from him and run to the nearest
of the three huge pipes. And wait there. When he fires Suzie Missiles jump at
the last minute to avoid them and they will hit the pipe. You must then draw
him near to the water flow and he will be zapped. Now follow his spinning body
to the centre and stand by him. When the button is next to you jump up and
press B when the light bulb comes on. Repeat this twice more with each of
the other pipes and he will be defeated.

Frying Tonight
--------------

Now you will need to escape. Swim over to the pipe with exit signs next to it
(it's the pipe the camera focuses on) and go behind it jump onto the ladder
and climb up and go over to the B PAD. Now you will need to throw knives and
some hanging wires to stop you getting fryed. There are 3 wires by you and you
will need to throw a knife at the place where the hang from  (where the wire
has no insulation). 2 are at about the same height as you and one is slightly
below you. As soon as those three are sorted swim over to the ladder that is
touching the water now (across the room).

Climb it and jump onto the pipe to find another B PAD. There are 2 wires by
you and 1 across the room now. Throw the knives at them and then the rushing
is over. Let the water rise and when it stops find the exit and swim over.

You will now be back in the barn, jump onto the turtle's Stone and he will
spring you into the air next to $100. You can now exit the barn from here.

Slam Dunk
---------

Climb up the ladder and past the first platform. Be careful of the wasp, look
before you head upwards. Then get off at the second platform. Kill the imp
with a combo and start climbing the next ladder. There are two more wasps to
pass before you reach the top so look where you are going. Once at the top run
off the end and tail spin until you get the lightbulb trigger then press B to
slam dunk and open the iron gate.

You now need to carefully make your way down. Climb up the ladder and go round
the rim of the bucket until you reach another ladder. Climb down that go along
the barn roofs until you reach the place where the money was earlier, drop
down there and then fall off into the river and go through the iron gates to
the tunnel where there are some ceramic dolls and another wad of hard earned
cash is waiting for you. $100!

You can now exit this area and head back to Windy, you are done here.

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[3d] Windy once more
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Poo Cabin
---------

Go right now and through the arch into the "pooey" area and head straight into
the now open poo cabin. Have a chat with the scoucer bettle and then use the
B PAD in here to start a little platforming section. Go down the corridor and
when you reach the large room with the hole in the centre jump onto the rope
and climb up to find another rope. Jump onto that and keep climbing to reach
another platform. Wait till the imp is out of the way and then jump onto the
platform and carefully dispose of the him. Now go against the wall and jump
onto the next rope hanging by the wall. Then jump off this to reach a sloped
path leading out of this weird cabin.

Pruned
------

Now for a strange puzzle. Just take note that choclate is scattered on the
outer rim of this pen so if you need it avoid going onto the island instead
swim round the river of poo. Right first thing first, from the entrance do
a complete U-Turn to your left and you will see some falling poo. You will
need to climb up the roof from where they are falling. So use spring jump and
time it well so you don't get hit, once you finally get to the top there is a
huge tap. Jump on and start running in the same direction of the arrow to
release prune juice.

Yeehaw
------

Now jump back down into the river of brown and walk onto the island. See that
target, you need the bull to hit it. Do this by standing next to it and tail
spin to avoid him. For an extra tip keep the camera on him at all times.
This will release a cow (I bet you can see where this is going). Now there is
a large wall with a target on. Walk over and get the bull to charge into it in
the same fashion. He will get stuck, now jump onto him and you will ride the
bull. This is tough and quite hectic so try keeeping control. You will need
to charge at the cow munching. Do this by pressing B but if you miss you will
fall off and hurt yourself so be careful.

Once the cow has cronic diahorrea then you will need to ram the cow with the
bull again (if you take to long you may have to use the target wall again).
This will cause the cow to...err...explode. After this another small target
will appear to release another cow. Repeat the process I just explained with
the next two cows and everything will be done. Good luck.

Sewage Sucks
------------

Jump down the drain the bull fell into and you will be back in the cabin but
now it's flooded. Head through the tunnel into the next room and use the B PAD
to gain confidence in the water, now you can swim properly underwater, albeit,
it's a bit difficult. Submerge and swim down the sloped passage to the main
room. Swim past the bull and in this corridor come up next to the second
barrel pillar type thing. You can now reach that money you heard earlier.
Another wad of $100 for Conker!

Submerge again and carry on down the corridor and up through the small hole
back into the cabin room, now exit into windy.

Great Balls of Poo
------------------

Go over to your treasured poo and beat the crap out of those green imps who
dare touch it! Now roll the poo down this ravine type area all the way off
into the lake where it strictly says no pooballs. Now jump down onto the
platform with the poo imp and press B on that nail type B PAD. Well done you
have just made it a hell of alot easier too access Bat tower. Swim across
the lake to the entrance making sure to avoid the huge whirlpool.

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[3e] Cats Tower
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mrs Catfish
-----------

Have a chat with these weird creatures and then swim down the lovely and
peaceful river. Go past the waterfall and you will encounter the dog fish.
Avoid it and dive underwater until you find a small passage. Go through it
and you will eventually come out at the base of the tower. Talk to the abusive
cog.

Barry's Mate
------------

You will now need to scale the tower all the way to the top. First off step
on the lift and beat up the imp at the top, you will now need to carefully
walk across a log. If a bat comes too close then just press B to fry it.
Beat up another imp and then climb up the rope. This structure continues for a
while until you reach the top. Don't pull the lever you see yet, instead
climb the rope to your left and then tail spin your way around the very
top of the tower to find another wad of $100. Head back to the lever, pull it
and then carefully make your way down.

Cog's Revenge
-------------

Once at the bottom you will now need to grab 3 cogs and fix them to the
system. The cogs always run in circles, the best thing to do is to run the
opposite way and when they start to slide and try and avoid then whack them.

The first cog is in the same room so just grab it and put it on.

The second cog is through the grate you opened by pulling the lever, go into
the water and through the grate. Avoid the black imps and you will find the
second cog, grab it and swim back.

The third cog is a bit further, from the second cog room go through the
passage with the imp in and the cog is running around here, knock it down and
take it all the way back. Once everything is ready start running on the big
stone in the middle in the right direction shown until the cutscene shows.

The Combination
---------------

You can now exit the area by the water passage and go back outside where the
dog will be tied down. Swim back up the dock to speak to the cat fish ladies
again. You will need to guide them to the vault. Be careful to avoid the imps
yourself but the cat fish will not take damage. They will open the vault so
step inside for your cash...

Blast Doors
-----------

Well it's not that simple. Go up to the B PAD to get out your catapult. You
will need to enter the symbols behind the cog in a certain order. Up, Down,
Right, Left. With precise aiming at the markings wait for the opening to come
round and pre-emp the cog and fire early. Once the code is in the trapdoor
will open and you can go swimming with the fishes too.

Cling's Lair
------------

Jump on the floating B PAD and put on your torch hat. Dive underwater and
work your way all the way to the bottom. Keep to the sides to avoid the cling
and if you are low on air then pop into one of the lighted cages for more air.
Go through the green lighted tunnel at the bottom. In this next room go back
up to the top for more light and a breather and dive back in. You now need to
go through the blue lighted tunnel and then swim up to the top in the next
room and pull the lever there. This will open up a new route. Go back under
and take the green lighted tunnel here into the next room. Then take another
green lighted tunnel to the next room. Swim upwards here through the new
route making sure to get some air and swim all the way to the top of it. Get
out at the top and drop through the pipe here, few that was a long trip.

Pisstastic
----------

Hehe, time for some fun. Beat up the imp in the tunnel and run to the end for
a cutscene. Hmm... a problem I see, burning imps hurt. So what do you do? From
where you start turn round and press B under that huge beer barrel to get
Conker absolutly pissed. Stagger back into the boiler room and when the imps
come near you press B to start pissing everywhere, once you've douced them
they will die and if you run out of whizz just go back and get tanked again.

Brass Monkeys
-------------

BOSS: Big-Bollocked Boiler

Now you will have to fight a boiler. Get the boiler's attention and run up to
any of the elevated corners of the room. When the boiler tries to burn you
with fire make sure you are standing on the yellow pad and then spring jump
to cover the boiler with poo. While it is still trying to recover run over to
it and press B by it's bollocks. Ouch. Repeat this process for the other 3
corners of the room. Once defeated try to ignore the imps and roll one ball
onto the sensitive pad by the exit door and roll the other ball down the
passage that  you open with the sensitive pad, then chase after your cash of
only $10. How cheap is that! Now exit the vault.

Bullfish's Revenge
------------------

After a cutscene swim past the bullfish as fast as you can, it will chase you
down and it's a pain to get rid of. In order to avoid it you must make sure
it eats all of the catfish on the way and then you will escape. Make sure
you take the inside of the second corner and tail spin over the fish to be
sure. Once it crashes climb on it's back and jump up to the wads of $300. You
are done here so leave through the doorway.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[3f] Windy (again!)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Great Balls of Poo II
---------------------

Swim past the whirlpool and make your way back to the poo cabin. Find another
ball of shit and roll it around to the other side of the poo cabin, you now
need to roll it up that slope and over that arch. Keep rolling the poo up this
mountain stopping to avoid those troublesome scouser dung beattles. The poo
will destroy the giant beattle and allow you to roll poo all the way to the
top.

Go back to the cabin and roll a poo ball all the way up the mountain via the
lower path. At the top attempt to spring jump onto the poo ball and onto the
mountain but do not worry too much if you get the money on top or not. Roll
the poo ball into the mountain and then work your way down and go through the
entrance that has now be cleared into the mountain (near the cabin).

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[3g] Sloprano
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Corn off the Cob
----------------

Watch the cutscenes and you will now need to throw 3 pieces of sweetcorn into
that big bowl of poo in the centre. The first corn will be stopped by the hand
so grab it and throw it in.

The second piece is on the next platform so go right from the ledge and tail
spin over the gap watching out for the shadow of falling poo balls. There is
another piece of sweet corn on this circle so knock it out (watch out for
the hand and throw it in).

Now follow the path round to the next circle (poo balls again) and the final
sweet corn will be here. Knock it out, grab it and throw it into that pit
once more. You will now fight the great Mighty Poo!

Sweet Melody
------------

BOSS: Great Mighty Poo

This guy isn't too difficult but it's just a long battle. Keep in the circle
area and run around to avoid his tish. When he stops throwing and starts to
sing run over to the B PAD and throw toilet roll into his mouth. After that
the pad will be covered so run back to the next circle and keep running. He
will start to sing again so throw toilet roll in twice. After this the speed
will pick up so run to the next circle as fast as you can and throw toilet
roll in twice more. This will make him shatter the seal that stopped you from
reaching the cash. Go all the way back towards the third circle making sure
to avoid his tish and grab the $100 and pull the flusher to finish off that
piece of shit.

U-Bend Blues
------------

Run over to the third circle and jump into the pit from where that shit came
from making sure to land on one of the platforms. Then go through the doorway
in the pit that opened. You will now be in the U-Bend, jump down and into the
water and start swimming until you reach 3 rotating blades. Touch any of these
blades and Conker will be in 2 halves so be careful. The best way is to go
through the top right and move diagonally up and left. Repeat this for each
of the blades and then surface at the other end and head through the small
passage. You will come to another pipe. Climb up the rope above the blade
until you reach a ledge going round the edge. Jump on timely to avoid the
blades and keep running. You will need to tail spin as Conker cannot run fast
enough so be careful. Climb up the ladder and you'll be in a new area.

The Bluff
---------

Cross the bridge and watch Conker fool the weasels. After the cutscene you'll
be facing a fortress run over to it and head round to your right making sure
to tail spin to avoid any Raptors trying to eat you. Head through the doorway
in the wall. Go round the outside again to the other side and through another
doorway and you'll be on top of the castle. Grab the $100 jumping around and
then climb on top of the stone head. Press B three times on top and you will
fall through the castle and into the next chapter.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[3h] Uga Buga
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Drunken Gits
------------

Jump on top of the head once more and press B on top to open up the arch then
go over to the rock solid bar and to your left one of the stone like creatures
will be rolled up. Roll him back to the archway via the sides to avoid being
hit and roll him through the arch, this will break down the wall and allow you
to reach the sacrificing area.

In this room all you have to do is work your way over to the doorway on the
right. Go down the right slope and keep to the left until you reach the back
of the room, head through the doorway here.

Sacrifice
---------

Follow the walkway avoiding any cavemen on the way until you reach the egg.
Jump on to the turtle's stone and you will be flipped up to the egg. Press B
here. Let the dino follow you and go down the sloped walkway to continue, the
dino will eat any cavemen, lead him back to the sacrificing room. Head to the
big stone and press B on the B PAD to get out the sling shot. Shoot the big
UP ARROw on the ceiling above one of the slopes behind the stone. Lead the
dino on to the stone and he will stay there. Then shoot the down arrow to
sacrifice the poor thing. This will open up the route into the Dino god's
mouth.

Phlegm
------

Jump on the turtle's stone and you'll be flipped onto it's head. Grab the $100
here and then walk back to it's nostrils. Go into each one and press B to
clear that horrible mucus on it's tounge then climb into the dino's mouth.

In here run past the swinging....thing and go right. You will then pass one
more of these swinging thing and then exit here, on this walkway Conker will
find a disguise to fool the cavemen. Walk all the way back through the dino
and then come out of the Dino's mouth.

Worship
-------

Lead all the cavemen back to the rock solid bar to get yourself into the bar.

Rock Solid
----------

Run down the slope and over to the bar on the otherside and roll the rock
behind the bar all the way up the slope again and onto the button there. This
will open the doorway in the centre. Go back the bar and get Conker pissed,
now piss on one of the rock guys closest to the doorway and keep pissing on
him till he rolls through the passage. Now go to the centre of the bar and
take the feel good drink to allow Conker to move a bit better. Run over to the
slope and use the  spring jump several times to get on to the highest ledge.
Now carefully roll the rock that you got here along the ledge (timing to avoid
the women dancers) until you get him onto another switch. This opens up the
other two doorways.

To get back down there is a ledge under the second women dancer so jump onto
that and then to floor level. Get Conker pissed again and pee the closest rock
guy through one of the doorways to open up the cage that Berri has been
dancing in all this time. Berri will pass you but for now go and get that
money in the cage. To get in climb up top again and fall onto that ledge under
the second women up there. Then tailspin into the cage. Then make Conker run
over to the exit of this stupid place.

Bomb Run
--------

Conker's got a bomb and it's ticking down from 1:30, run as fast as you can
to the dino god's mouth but make sure you don't get hit or fall any distance.
Once you are inside make sure you go LEFT otherwise you will get stuck and
also don't get hit by any of the swinging things, get out the other end and
keep running until the cutscene starts.

You will now need to escape, do this by jumping across the sinking rocks that
are infront of you to your right. Once out of the room you'll be on the next
chapter.

Mugged
------

Argh, curses this hoverboard race can be tough. Go over the bridge and in the
tunnel to reach the board. You have to race round the course knocking down
each of the cave men. Press forward to accelerate, A to jump and B to swing
your bat to vanquish your foe. I can only suggest that you learn the tract
making sure to jump at the ledges and take your prefered routes. Make sure to
slow down at the dinosaur crossings as if you hit it you will die and have to
restart the race. Once two of the three cave men have been knocked out then
the track will change at the end to another route. Once he is beaten it will
change back again. You will then need to jump at the end of that little ledge
to reach the next area and grab some more cash.

Raptor Food
-----------

After the cutscene run over to the two bold cavemen by the huge door. the
raptor will now be released so run for your life! Head to the centre of the
arena and press B if the raptor is a slight distance way. If luck is on your
side the dino will be hypnotised. You now have to run around the arena eating
the cavemen around by pressing B.

Once you have eaten enough they will send out the infantry, the first set are
clubbers so just dive in there and to spread them out, eat a few and run away.
Repeat this until they are all dead and you will now have to deal with spear
throwers. They are slightly tougher but keep running around and get them after
they have been thrown. Once this set is done you will have to fight a mixture
so use the same tactic until they are all dead.

If you fall off the dino at any stage you will need to hypnotise it again so
be careful!

Buga the nut
------------

BOSS: Buga

This guy is massive! His attacks include using his club to squash you and an
attack where he stomps the ground and sends out a wave you have to jump over.
What I do is stay mid range jumping his stomp wave and as soon as he raises
his club run towards his crotch and hit B. While he's still recovering run
around the back at hit B when the bulb appears. Repeat this twice more to
reveal Buga's big... or should I say, little secret.

After the raptor is gone run over to the platforms at the edge and climb up to
reach the big babe and after the cutscene follow the cash. You will now be
on a cliff walk, follow it round killing all the imps on the way, grab the
$100 and then jump into the U-Bend again. Don't swim this time, instead just
get out and head through the passage back to Sloprano. Here just jump down
the bowl to reappear in the poo cabin.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[3i] Windy visit the fourth
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wasps' Revenge
--------------

Head back down the path towards Mrs Bee and you will see that the wasps have
stolen the hive again. Run to the wasp hive and go inside and quickly run to
the centre killing the imps on the way. Jump into the hive gun and give the
wasps hell in your killing machine. Once you have killed enough Mrs Bee will
tell you to grab it and run so get out and carry the hive all the way back
to Mrs Bee's place. This will earn you a lucious $400. Hopefully you will now
have over $2000. If you have missed some check Cash locations. If you have got
enough proceed.

Mr Barrel
---------

Climb up the centre hill (with the worms on it) avoiding those annoying worms
by using tail spin or just timing. Once you get to the top deal with the
barrel and climb on for a ride. Now control it all the way down the hill and
you will open a new route at the end of the stream. Once Conker has recovered
head through there.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[3j] Spooky
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mr. Death
---------

Yes it's him again, follow the passageway killing those damn ceramic babies
until you reach outside. Then swim over to Gregg, after your little talk
carry up the path until you see a demon head below. Jump down into the blood
and swim in. Jump onto the lever and pull it to open the door and follow the
route round back to Gregg again to recieve the shotgun, carry on up the path
and through the doorway. You will now have to fight several undead with the
shotgun so start firing for their heads. Hold the trigger to make a laser
appear for better aiming. Go through the doorway at the end of the graveyard.

You will now be faced with a twisting path, on your way up these annoying
skeleton worms will appear and try to throw you off so tread slowly and take
them out on the way. When you reach the top head inside the castle.

Count Batula
------------

Err... Conker is now a bat and you will need to feed the count several
villagers. To do this fly around the place until Conker get's a sonar reading
then try to poo the villagers to knock them over, if you knock one down Conker
will squeal so go down and grab the villager and carry them back to the
grinder. Once you have fed the count enough he will fall into the grinder
himself and Conker will change back.

Zombies
-------

To escape Conker has to find 3 keys for the door, this bit is a pain so be
careful and take your time so you don't have to do it more than once. From the
start point go round the ledges to your left until you reach a doorway leading
above the dining room. Shoot the two zombies up here and then carefully walk
along the suspended walkways to the first key. Carry it all the way back to
where you started and go through the doorway to the libary, go round the edge
and down the stairs avoiding the zombies then head through the carpeted hall
by the stairs. You will eventually reach the landing area where there are
tonnes of zombies, pass them all and put the key into the door. One down.

Feel free to kill the zombies here and when you are done head through the
other carpeted hall by the huge staircase. You will eventually reach the
outside garden, now find your way to the centre of this small maze to find
the second key, carry it all the way back the same way and put it in the door.

The last key is very high up so be careful. Climb up the huge staircase and go
left at the top and through the doorway to where you originally started this
chapter. Go round the edge of the room again and go up the ladder near the
doorway to the dining room. At the top look to your left and you will see a
lever jump over to it and pull it to open a secret route then head back to the
ladder. You will see the key on the otherside of the room so carefully jump on
to that pipe full of blood and over to the key. Carry the key along this
platform and through the secret doorway that leads to the hall again. Put this
in the door and you are finally done. Good work!

Mr Barrel
---------

Mr. Barrel is sitting in the huge hall by the stairs so jump on him and roll
out the door, roll all the way down the twisted path, through the graveyard
and into the blood river. When in the river go right past death and you will
see another exit you couldn't reach earlier, roll mr.barrel up here and he
will break. Go through the doorway here to arrive back at the first area of
the game and to find another $100. Jump into the pit and then work your way
out of the training area back to windy.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[3k] It's War
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's War
--------

Run around towards the wasp hive but this time head through the door that is
now open behind the barbed wire.

Power's Off
-----------

Go over to the pier and jump over to the beach on your right. Pull the lever
to turn the power back on. Now climb back up and go back over to the pier.
Push the small crate on the rails in the same direction of the arrows on the
floor until it can't go any further and then go up the slope to the bathroom
door and press B.

TNT
---

You will need to get two TNT guys to each side of the plane wreck. Taking the
clockwise route first push the TNT guy down the slope to the crate and then
starting pushing him left past all the jumping and falling crates until he
needs to have a rest by the plane. Then swim back to the pier and press B on
the pad and shoot him with the slingshot. Then head back to the loo. Repeat
the slope bit and then push him to the right and follow the other route round.
There are mines here so you have to keep on the grey curvy path that is just
visable. When he needs a rest at the end head to the pier and shoot him. Now
the plane is out the way let's start the assault! Jump down to the boat and
talk to the sarge.

The Assault
-----------

Watch the very original not ripped off introduction to the shooting section.
You will now need to run up the beach. Run to the green flare and protection
and then run the red flare and protection. While the Tediz are reloading run
up the beach and to the next protection and keep repeating this until you
reach the entrance.

Sole Survivor
-------------

Let the massacre begin press B to get your gun out and shoot all those Tediz.
Once the bastards are dead shoot the locked door to get inside and fight past
some more Tediz. In this room all the Tediz hide but you can quickly run
round and kill them all. Keep reloading though when you have cover, oh and do
not get to close otherwise they will stab you. Once you've killed them all
then the door will open to reveal lasers. Crawl under them and then avoid the
next set by going right then left. Turn the corner with your gun ready to kill
more tediz.

When you reach the next laser set kill all the tediz behind it and then begin
to tail spin when you start to lower quickly go through the lasers. Watch out
for the Tediz that come from the ceiling here and keep going, killing more
and more ambushing Tediz until you reach the lift.

Once past that you will be near the casualty department. Use tail spin to get
past the lasers here and get past quick because alot of Tediz appear for extra
trouble. Turn the corner and you will face another problem. The flame thrower
stops and starts so wait till he's finished and run past but be careful as
there are plenty of them about. Carry on down the corridor killing more and
more hiding Tediz on the way and turn the corner passing some easy lasers to
past and more tediz. Keep going and tail spin over the floor lasers. When you
reach the final set of lasers just do a small jump and head into....

Casualty Dept
-------------

Kill all these knife-wielding-weirdos by running around and firing (yes some
great advice there) and once they are done you will release the horror. Kill
this huge thing by keeping far away and behind cover as he can throw multiple
needles. Once he is down go over to the squirrel in the chair and attempt to
save him.

Open the door with the other lever and then head into this corridor. Head
towards the door at the end and you will be attacked by many Tediz so run back
to the gun turret and take them all out! They come from both directions so
watch out! Once they are all gone go over the door and exit.

Saving Private Rodent
---------------------

Kill the slaughtering Tediz making sure to kill the stick grenade thrower
first. Once they are all dead Conker is reunited with and old friend.
Afterwards carry on down the path. Now I have no idea if there is a special
way to do this bit but here is my strategy...

Bombs and mines litter the path so what I do is run like hell tail spinning to
avoid them. A tip for the bombs is that you can see the shadow of them when
they fall so learn there positon and let them drop before continuing. At the
end of this wiggly path is a huge metal door. Jump into the water and swim to
the buoy. Use the B PAD and fire a rocket at each of the huge bolts on the
door, after this take out the remaining Tediz and make your way to the next
area.

Chemical Warfare
----------------

Jump in the tank and fire at the radioactive symbol to open it. Jump out the
tank again and head inside. This walkway is small and there are mines on it
so what do you do? Jump across the gap to lure the mine towards you and then
jump back across letting him fall into the radioactive waste, repeat this
for the other mines until you reach the lever. Pull it and then run as fast
as you can back to the exit before you drown in the green stuff.

The Tower
---------

Oh not this part... Climb into the tank and head towards the huge tower. You
will need to shoot each one of the towers four legs but the problem is to do
this you will need to go all the way round the small walkway with bridges in
a tank. First off drive to the first bridge and wait until the tower's turret
is looking away. Get out the tank and jump the gap and climb back onto the
bridge and press B to lower it then quickly jump back into the tank. Head over
the bridge and shoot the first leg and kill the Tediz here then drive to the
next bridge. Repeat this process being extra careful on the last leg and when
the tower is destroyed get out the tank and cross over to where the tower was.
Drop down here to the next part.

Little Girl
-----------

There is a little girl trapped here and submarines all around. Run over to the
highlighted B PAD near the edge of the platform to use the rocket launcher, if
the submarine fires a missle move away and wait for it to land and then use
the B PAD again and shoot the sub quickly. You will need to repeat this on
different platforms against an increasing number of subs, but don't worry it's
not hard at all. Once you are finished head back to the centre.

The Experiment
--------------

BOSS: The Experiment

Quickly run away from the hideous thing and get in the tank, it will arm
itself with huge guns but DON'T MOVE. Just quickly fire a round at each of
the guns and it will be stunned. Once it's guns are gone shoot the little girl
and the thing will panic. When it turns round shoot the red spot on the back
of it to hurt it. Repeat this for the other two pairs of weapons it carrys and
this boss is beaten.

Countdown
---------

You now have 4:30 minutes to escape this horrible place. Drop down the newly
made hole and then tail spin diagonally left through the first set of lasers.
For the second set climb on the box and tail spin over them. For the third set
tail spin diagonally right through the lasers. For the fourth set climb over
the box and then carefully tail spin but wait a while before going through the
lasers. You then have to kill a couple of Tediz. For the fifth set climb onto
the edge of the box and then crawl past the lasers (very difficult). Do the
same for the sixth set but just be even more cautious as there is another
laser afterwards. For the last set of lasers just crawl under them.

You will then fight a load of Tediz in this room again with a rocket launcher
so stay hidden while you prepare to fire the next rocket. Once they are all
dead run through the door and to outside.

This bit is a royal pain in the arse. You will need to go down the beach while
avoiding Tediz with RPGs! You will need to kill the RPG Tediz otherwise they
will kill you so here are their positions and the route to take. Go right down
the beach and a Teddy will appear to your right by the wall, take him out, go
round the barbed wire and there is another teddy. From the gap in the wire go
straight down the beach and kill another Teddy. When you reach more wire go
left and more Tediz will appear infront of you and one will appear to the left
of you. Once they are all dead head to the landers and it's over.

Peace at last
-------------

Watch the cutscene then climb up the steps and leave the war area.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[3l] Heist
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Windmill's Dead
-------------------

Head to the top of the windmill hill (the one with the worms) and drop inside
and through the doorway to reach the bank. Talk to the weasel and you will
meet Berri again! After the cutscenes head inside the bank

Enter the Vertex
----------------

Hehe... this is fun. All you need to do is kill enough Weasels and the lasers
will be deactivated just keep on firing. Oh and the green pads near the
pillars. Well press B on them to do something very awesome. Enjoy yourself!

Once you leave you will enter the vault. All you have to do is beat up the
cash and grab it until Conker is a millionaire. After some sad cutscenes pull
down on the lever under the throne and then run over to the suit that has just
been unveiled.

The Vault
---------

BOSS: Heinrich

There is a key tactic to the final boss. First thing is that he has several
attacks but the damaging ones are tail swipe which you jump to avoid and bite
which you crouch to avoid. Go up to him and try to get a few hits on him to
knock him down. Then go behind him and grab his tail. You will now need to
swing him round and throw him out the air lock like in Super Mario. Make sure
he is not clawing at the floor when you throw him however.

Sadly he manages to get back in and he's much harder to hit. Stand in front of
him dodging his tail swipes and when he does the bite crouch and he will stun
himself. WHile he is recovering punch him up and grab his tail again to throw
him out. Repeat this once more and then enjoy the ending cutscene. what a
brilliant game but a sad ending...

That marks the end of the walkthrough then, as for me I am going to take a
small break and then start writing the multiplayer part of this guide. Enjoy!

==============================================================================
[4] Cash locations
==============================================================================

Missed some cash that you need, well here are all the locations of the wads of
money that Conker loves SO much!

Hungover
--------

- No cash here matey

Windy
-----

- Get the hive back for Mrs Bee and you will earn $100.

- Once you can roll poo get a ball of it to the top and do a spring jump on
top of it and then on to the top of the mountain for $100. This can be an arse
to do but don't worry you, if you get all the other cash you won't need
this.

- When Poo cabin gets flooded head inside and near in the corridor leading
to the dry part of the cabin go to the top and you will find some cash in
a dry alcove. Another $100.

- Infront of the wasp hive spring jump into the opening to the left of the
main entrance, go through it and you will appear in the right cove. Spin tail
into the opening above the door and go through to appear in a cove near the
back where a wad of $100 lays.

- Save Mrs Bee's hive again near the end for some more cash, $400 in total.

Barn Boys
---------

- On top of the barn roof which you get to by getting the pink block off Jack.
This wad is worth $100

- Once the sunflower shows her big bazookas jump on them and spring up for
a wad of $100.

- Inside the part of the barn by the window is another $100. To reach this you
must beat haybot.

- In the tunnel that has iron gates blocking access. To remove the gates you
need to anvil the big bucket in slam dunk. This wad is $100.

Bats Tower
----------

- Climb to the very top of the tower and go around the edge of the castle to
enjoy the view and earn yourself $100.

- Once you beat the boiler with big nuts, go into the next room and get
yourself a measily $10.

- Once the catfish have been eaten and the bulldog fish crashes climb on top
of it and reach for another wads of $300.

Sloprano
--------

- In the room with the flusher that you use to sink the mighty poo with is a
wad of $100.

Uga Buga
--------

- On top of the temple statue is a wad of $100

- After the sacrifice use the turtle's stone to flip up onto the dino God's
head for another $100.

- Once Berri is free from her cage jump onto the platform near it and tail
spin into the cage for a wad of $100.

- Once you reveal Buga's secret exit the arena and follow the ledge that goes
round for a wad of $100.

Spooky
------

- After you roll all the way down on Mr.Barrel roll into the lake of blood
and go upstream to an area unreachable before and head through the tunnel to
reach another $100 hidden behind a grate in the training area.

It's War
--------

- No cash to grab here fellow

Heist
-----

- At the end of this chapter in the vault is loads of cash which brings your
total to $1,000,000!!! He sure is gonna get tanked tonight.

==============================================================================
[6] Extras
==============================================================================
[6a] The Great Mighty Poo Song (uncut)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well I had enough requests for this so here it is in all it's glory, the
original uncut version of THE song.

I am the Great Mighty Poo,
and I'm going to throw my shit at you.
A huge supply of tish,
come from my chocolate star fish.
How about some scat you little twat.

Do you really think you'll survive in here?
You don't seem to know which creek you're in.
Sweet Corn in the only thing that makes it through my rear,
how do think I keep this lovely grin? [Have some more caviar]

Now I'm really getting rather mad, you're like a niggly,
tickly, shitty little tag nut.
When I've knocked you out with all my bab,
I'm going to take your head and ram it up my butt!

Conker: Your butt?
Poo: My butt!
Conker: Your butt?
Poo: Yes right my butt!
Conker: Ew!
Poo: My butt!
Conker: Ew!
Poo: MY BUTT!

>>> More Extras coming soon....