I can't get the handmaiden I get the disiple but my brother gets the handmaiden but I get the dicsiple how can I get the hand maiden
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Your brother gets handmaiden cause he is a guy. Girl characters get the diciple instead.
So it depends if your a boy character, or girl character.
You obviously have been picking the Female character as your exile.
The male characters get the Handmaiden for a romance plot that can go horribly wrong because of Kreia and Visas. The female character gets the Disciple which there just happens to be another loose brick in the road with Atton. You can turn them both into Jedi though, I know from experience that the disciple is fairly easier to recruit than the Handmaiden. There are some minor differences besides the fact that you get a different follower also, If you are a male the Jedi master that runs the academy on Telos steals the Ebon Hawk(sorry I forgot her name) if you are female however the Handmaiden(or what looks like her) steals the Ebon Hawk.
Lol, it is really easy, but allow me to help you. You always get the disciple because you always choose the main character a Female. Your brother always gets Brianna(handmaiden) because he always makes his main character be a Male. So, you see what the problem is? There is no variety, lol. If you made your main character be a male, then you would get the Female, Handmaiden. If your brother made his character be a Female, he would get the Male character, Disciple.
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