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Follow the dark path or use the light

The Introduction Script

by Klaydoggy

Grand Theft Auto 3

Double Cleff FM Script

by: Klaydoggy

Created: 1/11/08

What is this?

Well, I was thinking about some of the weird things Morgan says in this, and
was going to look some of it up... and realized there was no typed script!

So I typed one out.

I hope you enjoy.

Legal stuff?

-All the dialogue is copyrighted and owned by Rockstar Games.  It was written 
by Dan Houser and Lazlow Jones, and performed by Gerry Cosgrove.

-All musical recordings are courtesy of Opera d'Oro Records and Allegro 

-Double Clef vs. Double Cleff

The artwork for the game only shows 1 "f" in the name (i.e. Double Clef.)
But, when you actually play the game, and in the instruction book, it is
shows with 2 "f"'s.  So I used 2 when typing this out.  Deal with it.

-Comments, Corrections, want to use it on your site?

email me at [email protected]  I'm not going to be all "you MUST ask my
permission FIRST!" because that wouldn't really stop anyone.. so I'll ask
politely that you email me and ask if you can use it on your site.  I'll
most likely say yes, on the terms you put my name on the credit for it.
Also, it helps me keep track of where my FAQs go.  And as always, if you
feel I have made a typo, or got something wrong, please let me know.

-I have included the lyrics to the songs in their respective language (see: 

Enjoy!, and as always... Long Live GTA!


Double Cleff FM
Starring: Gerry Cosgrove as Morgan Merryweather

You are listening to The Fat Lady Sings, on Double Cleff FM.  I'm Morgan 
Merryweather, but please, call me the Maestro.

Song #1 - "Non piu andrai farfallone amoroso" from "Le Nozze di Figaro"
written by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.  Performed by Sesto Bruscantini and
Teresa Berganza, with the Orchestra e Corodi Roma della RAI.  Conducted
by Zubin Mehta

Non più andrai, farfallone amoroso,
Notte e giorno d'intorno girando,
Delle belle turbando il riposo,
Narcisetto, Adoncino d'amor.
Delle belle turbando il riposo,
Narcisetto, Adoncino d'amor.
Non piu avrai questi bei penacchini,
Quel cappello leggiero e galante,
Quella chioma, quell'aria brillante,
Quel vermiglio donnesco color,
Quel vermiglio donnesco color,
Non più andrai, farfallone amoroso,
Notte e giorno d'intorno girando,
Delle belle turbando il riposo,
Narcisetto, Adoncino d'amor.
Delle belle turbando il riposo,
Narcisetto, Adoncino d'amor.
Fra guerrieri, poffar Bacco!  
Gran mustacchi, stretto sacco,
Schioppo in spalla, sciabla al fianco,
Collo dritto, muso franco,   
Un gran casco, o un gran turbante,
Molto onor,
poco contante, 
poco contante, 
poco contante,
Ed in vece del fandango,
Una marcia per il fango.
Per montagne, per valloni,
Con le nevi, e i solioni, 
Al concerto di tromboni,   
Di bombarde, di cannoni,
Che le palle in tutti i tuoni,  
Non più andrai, farfallone amoroso,
Notte e giorno d'intorno girando,
Delle belle turbando il riposo,
Narcisetto, Adoncino d'amor.
Delle belle turbando il riposo,
Narcisetto, Adoncino d'amor.
Cherubino, alla vittoria! 
Alla gloria militar!  
Cherubino, alla vittoria! 
Alla gloria militar! 
Alla gloria militar!
Alla gloria militar!

MMMMMMMMmmmmmmm, that was magnificent.  A very emotional piece, this next
one.  Molto adagio!  Lovely, twinkling, radiant, marvelous.  Double Cleff FM.

Song #2 - "O mio babbino caro" from "Gianni Schicchi."  Written by Giacomo
Puccini, performed by Tito Gobbi, Cecilia Fusco and Renzo Casellato with the
RAI Orchestra & Chorus, Milan.  Conducted by Massimo Pradella.

O mio babbino caro,
mi piace è bello, bello;
vo'andare in Porta Rossa
a comperar l'anello!
Sì, sì, ci voglio andare!
e se l'amassi invano,
andrei sul Ponte Vecchio,
ma per buttarmi in Arno!
Mi struggo e mi tormento!
O Dio, vorrei morir!

Babbo, pietà, pietà!
Babbo, pietà, pietà!

Commercial #1 - Dormatron
Female: I've tried everything, and I just couldn't keep those extra 200 pounds
off.  It started to affect my marriage.
Male: She was too big for me, and I'll sleep with anything!
Female: The Abdomitrex, Thighasizer, tummy-stapling.  I've had my mouth sewn
up, my hands chopped off, you name it, I've tried it.
Male: Ya, except for exercising and eating right, Porky!
Female: That's right, honey.  Then I found the Dormatron.  Using a new
technology called Biorythmicsubconciousgymnastics the Dormatron exercises you
while you sleep.  Just strap in your arms and legs, put on the Dormatron
headset, then wrap yourself in the special high-voltage, electric blanket.
Turn it on to 11, and burn those pounds away while you have a relaxing nights
sleep.  Now that I've lost 280 pounds, my husband's all mine again.
Male: That's right, honey.  No more escort services for me!
Announcer: Don't be fat a day longer than you have to.  Remember, being fat
can ever ruin a romantic cruise.  Call Dormitron now at 1-800-sleepofflard, 
or visit, and sleep your way to a thinner, happier you.

Commercial #2 - House of Tomorrow
Female: In today's fast paced world, a split-second can be the difference 
between achieving your dreams...
Man 1: Hey, I just won the Nobel Peace Prize!
Female: And not...
Man 1: Huh, I wonder if wrestling's on tonight.
Female: More Americans are realizing if you don't have the latest and 
greatest technological devices, you will fall behind.
Man 2: I didn't upgrade my personal organizer, and two days later I was 
diagnosed with a terminal illness. 
Female: That's exactly why you should come visit the friendly people at 
House of Tomorrow, and they'll set you up with all your 21st century 
technology needs.
Man 3: I only spent $20,000 and now I can get e-mail in the shower, or surf
the Internet while I'm driving.  I was bored stupid at my daughter's recitals 
and my son's little-league games.  Thanks to House of Tomorrow, I can play 
wireless head-to-head 3D virtual reality poker, literally anywhere!
Female: If it's a flash-in-the-pan technology of absolutely no use to anyone, 
you can find it at House of Tomorrow.  Remember, only technology makes life 
worth living. House of Tomorrow, we'll upgrade your system then you can 
upgrade your life!" 

Commercial #3 - Eris Running Shoes
Man: A good shoe starts from the ground up.  At Eris, we make high-quality
footwear.  In fact, you can find Eris running shoes in over 140 countries 
around the world.  In the past, there's been some criticism about our workers.
That's why I'm here at one of the Eris factories so you can meet some of 
them.  Excuse me sir, do you enjoy your job here? 
Kid: It's fun, we get to play with knives!
Man: Heh, I see.  Is there a real sense of teamwork?
Kid: My friend Joey sewed his hands together!
Man: Wow, you're learning some real skills.  How about the salary, and
Kid: Yesterday, I made a dollar!
Man: You see, that's the kind of dedication we have to our employees, and
the quality of our shoes.  Eris running shoes, always running, from something.

The inspiration for this next record comes from Dante's Inferno.  Originally
transcribed in braille, to a chaste Belgian monk, after he lost his hearing.
This powerful fume can overpower the senses, much like a 12-year-old nephew
who lets you bounce him on your knee, one last time.  Molto adagio.

Song #3 - "Libiamo ne'lieti calici" from "La Treviata."  Written by 
Guiseppe Verdi.  Performed by Renata Scotto, Jose Carreras and Sesto
Bruscantini.  Conducted by Nino Verchi.

Libiamo, libiamo ne’lieti calici che la belleza infiora.
E la fuggevol ora s’inebrii a voluttà.
Libiamo ne’dolci fremiti
Che suscita l’amore,
Poiché quell’ochio al core
Omnipotente va.
Libiamo, amore fra i calici
Più caldi baci avrà.

Libiamo, amore fra i calici
Più caldi baci avrà.

Tra voi, tra voi saprò dividereil tempo mio giocondo
Tutto è follia nel mondo ciò
Che non è piacer.
Godiam, fugace e rapido
E’il gaudio dell’amore,
E’un fior che nasce e muore,
Ne più si può goder.
Godiam, c’invita un fervido accento lusighier.

Godiamo, la tazza e il cantico la notte abbella e il riso. in questo 
paradiso ne sopra

La vita è nel tripudio

Quando non s’ami ancora.

Nol dite a chi l’ignora,

E’ il mio destin così...

Godiamo, la tazza e il cantico la notte abbella e il riso; in questo 
paradiso ne sopra il nuovo dì.

Aah, just like Fellini's Lolita... innocent, yet endlessly corrupting.
MMMMmmmmmm.  Those of you who read my weekly memoirs, Entertainmon, in The 
Liberty Tree, will understand how important this next movement is to me,
Morgan Merryweather.  Double Cleff FM.

Song #4 - "Chi mi frena in tal momento" from "Lucia di Lammermoor."  Written
by Gaetano Donizetti.  Performed by Renata Scotto, Luciano Pacarotti, and
Piero Cappuccilli with the Orchestra Sinfonica e Coro di Toreno della RAI.
Conducted by Franchesco Molinari Pradelli.

-Note from Klaydoggy, this one is a weird one to type lyrics for,
seeing as the song has more than one singer, singing different lyrics at
the same time.  so, when they are side by side, it means they are sang
together... you'll figure it out.

Chi mi frena in tal momento?   		Chi mi frena il mio furore 
Chi troncò dell'ira il corso? 		e la man che al brando corse?
Il suo duolo, il suo spavento 		Della misera in favore
son la prova d'un rimorso! 		nel mio petto un grido sorse!
Ma, qual rosa inaridita, 		E' mio sangue! l'ho tradita,
ella sta fra morte e vita 		ella sta fra morte e vita
Io son vinto, son commosso!		Ahi! che spegnere non posso 
T'amo ingrata, t'amo ancor!		i rimorsi del mio cor.

Io sperai che a me la vita 
tronca avesse il mio spavento
Ma la morte non m'aita
Vivo ancor per mio tormento! 
Da' miei lumi cadde il velo, 
mi tradì la terra e il cielo! 
Vorrei pianger, ma non posso, 
M'abbandona il pianto ancor!

Qual terribile momento! 
Più formar non so parole 
Densa nube velo di spavento 
par che copra i rai del sole! 
Come rosa inaridita 
ella sta fra morte e vita
Chi per lei non è commosso 
ha di tigre in petto il cor.

MMMMMMMmmmmmm.  Oh, that one reminds me of that lovely summer I spent reading
Proust in the original Italian.

Commercial #4 - Fernando's New Beginnings
Fernando: Has your marriage gone stale?  Has the spark gone out of your love 
life?  Looking to add a little adventure to the monotony of monogamy?  Hello, 
I am Fernando Martinez, founder of Fernando's New Beginnings.  A revolutionary
new way of saving your marriage.  We understand how two kids and a mortgage 
can take the passion out of your life.  With our three step program, you'll 
re-discover romance, guaranteed.
Phil: Hi, my name's Phil.  I've got three kids, two cars and a mortgage.  My 
love life was going stale, even before my wife's car accident.  Then I called
New Beginnings.  Thanks to Fernando, I'm still married, but on Wednesday 
afternoons, I meet Barbara at the motel by the turnpike.
Fernando: See?  The passion, she is back.  Phil's marriage, is saved.  And
his kids will have a daddy to look up to.  Call New Beginnings today.  Cinco
cinco cinco, nueve dos nueve dos. It will be a miracle, I guarantee it.
Fernando's New Beginnings, we turn an ending, into a new beginning.

Commercial #5 - Maibatsu Monstrosity
Woman: Phil and I just had another kid, so of course we need a bigger SUV.
Being a mom is hard; with soccer, football and lacrosse practice.  So we 
bought the new Maibatsu Monstrosity.  It's so big, we lost little Joey in 
the back and couldn't find him for and hour!  When I'm rushing to the mall, 
or talking on my cell phone, I know me and my family are safe.  The Maibatsu
Monstrosity has 4-wheel drive.  And in amphibious mode, it can cross rivers. 
So far I've only hit a few puddles, but it's good to know it's there.  With
the time I save taking shortcuts through the strip-mall parking lot, I can 
focus on the important things; like gazing longingly at the pool boy, or
buying more exercise equipment off the TV. So what if it gets 3 miles to the 
gallon?  I'm a mom, not a conservationist.  The new Maibatsu Monstrosity, 
mine is bigger!

MMMMMMMmmmmmm.  Now, more hits from the 60's, 1760's that is.  Hahahaha.

Song #5 - "La Donna E Mobile" from "Rigoletto."  Written by Guiseppe Verdi.
Performed by Luciano Pavarotti and Renata Scotto with the Orchestra and 
Chorus of Teatro Comunale of Florence.  Conducted by Massimo Pradella.

La donna è mobile
Qual piuma al vento,
Muta d'accento, e di pensiero.
Sempre un amabile,
Leggiadro viso,
In pianto o in riso, è menzognero.

La donna è mobile qual piuma al vento
Muta d'accento e di pensier!
e di pensier!
e di pensier!

È sempre misero
Chi a lei s'affida,
Chi le confida, mal cauto il cuore!
Pur mai non sentesi
Felice appieno
Chi su quel seno, non liba amore!

La donna è mobile
qual piuma al vento,
Muta d'accento e di pensier!
e di pensier!
e di pensier!

I think that last piece really says something important about texture, don't
you?  I like to listen to this next movement while enjoying a fine chardonnay,
and a warm brie at my summer retreat in the Catskills.

Song #6 - "Finch'han del vino" from "Don Giovanni."  Written by Wolfgang
Amadeus Mozat.  Performed by Sesto Bruscantini, Nicolai Ghiaurov and Alfredo
Kraus with the Orchestra e Corodi Roma della RAI.  Conducted by Carlo Maria

Finch' han del vino calda la testa,
Una gran festa fa' preparar.
Se trovi in piazza qualche ragazza,
Teco ancor quella cerca menar.	
Senza alcun ordine la danza sia,
Chi 'l minuetto chi la follia,	
Chi l' alemanna farai ballare.	
Ed io frattanto dall' altro canto
Con questa e quella vo' amoreggiar.
Ah la mia lista doman mattina	
D' una decina devi aumentare.	



That would be it.