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Walkthrough

by MarioBros90

  ____                  _
 / ___|  ___    _ __   | | __  ___   _ __   _
| |     / _ \  | '_ \  | |/ / / _ \ | '__| (_)
| |___ | (_) | | | | | |   < |  __/ | |     _
 \____| \___/  |_| |_| |_|\_\ \___| |_|    (_)
| |     (_) __   __  ___     ( _ )
| |     | | \ \ / / / _ \    / _ \/\
| |___  | |  \ V / |  __/   | (_>  <
|_____| |_|   \_/   \___|    \___/\/   _              _
|  _ \   ___  | |   ___     __ _    __| |   ___    __| |
| |_) | / _ \ | |  / _ \   / _` |  / _` |  / _ \  / _` |
|  _ < |  __/ | | | (_) | | (_| | | (_| | |  __/ | (_| |
|_| \_\ \___| |_|  \___/   \__,_|  \__,_|  \___|  \__,_|

+Xbox

+Mature

1. Hello!
2. Controls
3. Money Locations
4. Walkthrough
5. Multiplayer
6. Extras
7. Closing


+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
1. H e l l o !                                                          HELO|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+

Hello, and welcome to my Faq/Walkthrough! This is the greatest Rareware game
of all time, so I just HAD to do a Walkthrough on it. So fun, right? Now 
let's go!!

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
U p d a t e s  &  N e w s                                               UPWS|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+

1.3 - Added Multiplayer section.

1.2 - Added a new system for finding the section (In find, type in the first
two letters, then the last two to get to the section you want)

1.1 - Fixed some minor spelling errors and added a few extras.

1.0 - This thing was created!

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
2. C o n t r o l s                                                      COLS|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+

Hungover Conker:

A - Hiccup
B - Punch... sort of

Regular Conker

A - Jump
Again - Hover
B - Pull out weapon (if you don't have on, he just punches like Hungover 
Conker)
R - Crouch
R+A - Spring Jump
L - 1st Person View
Left Control Stick (Push) - Move
Left Control Stich (In) - Jump
Right Control Stick (Push) - Adjust Camera
Right Control Stick (In) - Close up/out of Conker

Weapon Mode

B - Swing (Pan/Bat)
R Hold - Aim (Shotgun) or Fire (Mini Uzis)
R Push - Fire (Shotgun)

On Franky

A - Jump
B - Stab

On the bull

B - Charge

Swimming (Note: You need the Confidence Pills)

B - Dive
RCS - Adjust camera
B While Submerged - Swim in direction Conker is facing
LCS - Swim forward of backward

Pissed Conker

B - Pee
R - Adjust distance

(Note: After a while, Conker will run out of pee and turn into Hangover 
Conker,  which you must step on a B Pad to cure.)


Hoverboard

A - Jump
B - Hit a Caveman
LCS - Go left or right

Raptor

A - Jump
B - Charge and Bite
R - Swallow Caveman (No, not like that, stupid!)

Mr. Barrel

LCS - Move

Bat

B - Fly (If Grounded) or Go Higher (If in flight)
LCS - Left or Right
RCS - Up or down
R - Poop
L - Go into Rectum View

War Conker

(WC does what RC does, but some are changed)

B - Draw Uzis
R - Hold to fire
R (Not Drawn) - Crouch

Tank

RCS - Move
LCS - Move Cannon
R - Fire Missile
A - Jump Out

Space Suit

A - Boost (Jump)
B - Punch
R - Punch

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
3. M o n e y  L o c a t i o n s                                         MONS|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+

-Hungover-

No money in this chapter.

-Windy-

Part 1-

$100 - After saving the hive.

$100 - At the entrance after flooding the Poo Cabin.

Part 2-

$100 - To the left of the Wasp's nest entrance, there's an alcove. Jump up 
and WALK into it. You'll end up in another alcove. Viewing from the outside, 
jump and hover to the left into another alcove. At the end is the money.

$100 - After saving the hive again.

-Barn Boys-

$100 - After getting rid of Marvin, jump on the roof for money.

$100 - In an alcove reachable by using the Sunflower's breasts.

$100 - In the place after 'Frying Tonight'.

$100 - At the end of the gate that opens after smashing the pad in the bucket.

-Bats Tower-

$100 - At the very top of the tower.

$10 - After the Brass Bollocks Boiler.

$300 - In an alcove reachable by jumping off the Dogfish.

-Sloprano-

$100 - On top of Poo Mountain.

$100 - Next to the flusher.

-Uga Buga-

$100 - On the temple top.

$100 - On the dino god's head.

$100 - In the cage after freeing Berri.

$100 - At the end of 'Mugged'.

$100 - Follow the money after beating Buga the Knut.

-Spooky-

$100 - At the end of the chapter.

-It's War-

No money in this chapter.

-Heist-

$997790 - Before the battle with Heinrich.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
4. W a l k t h r o u g h!                                               WAGH|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
(Note: For this tracking system, it's the first three letters, then the
number of which chapter it is)

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
H u n g o v e r | S c a r e d y  B i r d y                              HUN1|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+

Walk over into the garden in front of the scarecrow. His name is Birdy, and 
he will teach you about Context Sensitive Pads. Step over to the one in front 
of the Garden entrance and use it to cure Conker's hangover. Now swim over to 
the island behind you and learn how to spring jump and crouch. Now keep going 
up the path. Ignore the door and keep going to a switch. Pull it to open the 
door you recently passed, and go in it.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
H u n g o v e r | P a n h a n d l e d                                   HUN2|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+

Chase the key in here for a while. Conker will realize this isn't working. 
Out comes a rack of weapons, one of which is the one Conker will take, a 
frying pan. Now some Imps will come out of the ground and eat the key. Now 
kill the Imps and the key will come out of the last one you kill. Hit the 
key, pick it up, then take it to the door to exit. Go back up to the switch 
and to the right to meet the Gargoyle. After the cutscene, smack the Gargoyle 
and a cutscene will trigger, making Conker pull out a bat and the Gargoyle 
will be crushed. 

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
H u n g o v e r | G a r g o y l e                                       HUN3|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+

Go on the rock, jump to the B Pad, and use it to blow up the rock and go 
through the door.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
W i n d y | M r s . B e e                                               WIN1|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
After the cutscene, grab some chocolate, then go up to the sign and grab the 
tail for an extra life. Now go right and talk to Mrs. Bee. She'll tell you 
her hive has been stolen by the wasps. Now go back to the sign and follow 
the other paths, killing the Imps along the way. At the Wasp's Territory, 
you'll see the hive. Grab it, and the Wasps will come out and chase you. 
Run back to Mrs. Bee. Don't worry about the Wasps, if you keep moving they 
can't get you. Once you get the hive back, she'll shoot down the Wasps with 
a Hive Machine Gun and give you $100. Now go across the bridge and onto the 
B Pad to meet up with Birdy again. For $10, you can buy the manual. Buy it 
and he'll go away, and fart, causing the money to run back to you. Now use 
the B Pad to pull out a Slingshot and kill the four Dung Beetles on the 
mountain. Now go up the mountain and into the right entrance.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
B a r n  B o y s | M a r v i n                                          BAR1|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Go across the water, and to the right, up a hill. Talk to Jack (The blue box)
and he'll tell you to find his friend Burt and get rid of the flatulent rat
to get the pink block off him. Now go back to where you crossed the water and
go left this time. Avoid the falling crates and go over to Burt. He'll open
the gate to the Cheese Field. Whack one and pick it up. Bring it back to
Marvin and he'll eat it. Bring back two more. After the 3rd one, he'll swell
up and explode. Now the pink block will get off Jack. Use them and some pipes
to get on top of the barn where there is some cash and a switch. Push it and
the barn door will open. Climb down and go in.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
B a r n  B o y s | M a d  P i t c h f o r k                             BAR2|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
After the cutscene, ignore the Hay Bales and go over to the Franky the
pitchfork to start a boss battle.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
B o s s | F r a n k y                                                   BOS1|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
The key to defeating Franky is to make him kill the Hay Bales. To do this,
you must dodge his attack of jabbing you by tailspinning out of the way while
in front of the Hay Bales. After you kill all eight, Franky will complain
that it's 'just too much' and attempt to hang himself, only to end up stuck
because he has no neck. In the words of Franky himself, 'Diddly di dam, I is
gonna be up here a long time'. Now pull the switch to make a bee fall outside
the barn. Now leave, and a giant Hay Bale with arms will fall down and start
wandering around... aimlessly!!

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
B a r n  B o y s | S u n n y  D a y s                                   BAR3|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Outside, talk to King Bee, and he'll tell you that he wants to pollinate the
sunflower you might have passed a while ago. After you're done talking, go to
the sunflower and she'll complain about your big, long, hairy pe- er, tail.
She's covering her breasts. You need to find a way to get her to bear them.
Go into the vicinity of the old crate and you will find some Tickly Bees.
You need to gather 5 of them to get the Sunflower to bare her breasts.
They can be found-

-In the small chasm
-On the barn
-In the Cheese Field
-Next to the entrance

After you gather all 5, bring them back to the Sunflower. She'll get tickled
so much that she'll take her hands off of her breasts, revealing them. Now
King Bee will fly down and pollinate her, which strangely sounds like sex...
Well, anyway, go back to the old crate, and when it stops, climb on and in
the barn...

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
B a r n  B o y s | B a r r y  +  C o                                    BAR4|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Now you are in the rafters of the barn. After the cutscene with the bats, you
need to get across the rafters to a B Pad. There are two ways across:

1. Walk across the rafters, torching the bats as they come.
2. Tailspin across from platform to platform.

At the end, the B Pad will give Conker some Knives. If you went across the
second way, you can make the bats fall by hitting them with Knives. But the
reason this pad is here is you have to cut the rope hanging Franky. Aim for
the hook supporting Franky and a Matrixesque cutscene will occur, so now
jump down.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
B a r n  B o y s | B u f f  Y o u                                       BAR5|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
After the cutscene, hop on your new pitchfork friend and go over to the giant
Hay Bale.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
B o s s | G i a n t  H a y  B a l e                                     BOS2|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
To kill the Giant Hay Bale, you must stab him in the back with Franky. After
you stab him twice, some of his hay will fall off, revealing a cyborg eye!
He'll scroll through a list of insults, and chooses, of course, "Buff you!".
Stab him again, and he will jump a whole lot, causing the floor to crumble 
and reveal an abyss...

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
B a r n  B o y s | H a y b o t  W a r s                                 BAR6|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
After landing, Conker will hurt his leg and now walks as slow as Hangover 
Conker, and you can only go faster on Franky. After the cinematic, you must
fight again...

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
B o s s | H a y b o t                                                   BOS3|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
To defeat him, run behind one of the pipes and wait for him to fire a Suzie
9mm missile at you, hitting the pipe in front of you. When that happens,
water will come out of the pipe. Now he will go towards you. Keep behind the
pipe, and he will hopefully step in the water and short-circut. When he does,
approach him and when he rotates, wait for the button that comes, and jump
and press B when it does. Conker will punch the button. Do this with all the
pipes, and Haybot will blow up. After the cinematic, the next chapter will
start.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
B a r n  B o y s | F r y i n g  T o n i g h t                           BAR7|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Quickly swim over to the pipe with the 'Exit' signs next to it, and climb up
the ladder to the B Pad and the water will rise. Now you have to cut a three 
wires close to you. Once you cut them all, Swim over to the pipe top across 
(Make sure the water isn'telectric) and cut some more wires while the water 
rises again. Afterwards, if the water isn't electrocuted, hop in the water
while it raises and wait for it to stop, then swim across to an exit. Get out
and you will be in a room with a monk. Let him flip you up and grab the money
and go forward.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
B a r n  B o y s | S l a m  D u n k                                     BAR8|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
After the cinematic, climb up the LOOOOOOOOOOONG ladder and at the end kill
the Imp and climb up another LOOOOOOOOOOONG ladder. At the top, jump to the
second Chocolate and press B to turn into an Anvil and smash the B Pad at the
bottom of the bucket, opening the gate at the bottom of the level. Now climb
the ladder in the bucket, go around the rim of the bucket and go down another
ladder onto the top of the barn. Now drop off into one of the chasms and go
into the gate. Inside is a new enemy: the Ceramic Doll. Don't mind them, just
grab the tail and money. Now exit this horrible place.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
W i n d y | P o o  C a b i n                                            WIN2|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Go back into Windy, and go to through the other passage, and into the cabin.
In the castle, the Professer has found the Panther King's problem... a gap in
the table leg! He tried to fill it with many things... he tried Elephants...
he tried Potted Plants, but the only thing that seemed to fit, was a Red
Squirrel. And that's what Conker is. Gulp. Anyway, after the cutscene, in the
Poo Cabin, a dung beetle will tell you that if you can get some poo, he will
make you a poo ball. So go in the place a shows you. Ignore the money for now
and kill the Imps. At the end, climb up the rope and grab hold of another
one. Climb up that one, and jump off in the direction of the door-like thing
and go upstream while killing the Imps.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
W i n d y | P r u n e d                                                 WIN3|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Outside you can find a bull, who isn't too fond of Conker's fur. Go out and
while in the water make a sharp U-Turn left to the side of where you entered.
Climb on the barrels and on the roof of where the Poo Balls are coming down.
Go up on the side of the mountain, then on the roof, making sure not to get
hit, then jump on the next roof, then to the giant rotating switch. Run the
direction of the arrow, and a target will appear. Also, the tankard will fill
with Prune Juice.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
W i n d y | Y e e h a w !                                               WIN4|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Now you must make the bull hit the target. Get in front of the target and
wait for the bull to charge at you. Tailspin out of the way and the bull will
hit the target, releasing a cow. Now you have to get on the bull and ram the
cow. Make the bull ram another target and this time he will get stuck. Junp
on and ride! Now ram the cow and she'll go over to the Prune Juice and drink
it and get Stupor Diahorrea and run over to the grate in the middle to crap.
Once she is done ram her again to make her explode. Do this with 2 more cows
and the bull will stand on the grate and break it. Jump down into it to end
up in the next chapter.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
W i n d y | S e w a g e  S u c k s                                      WIN5|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Jump up on the bar and grab the tail. Now go through the door and to the
right. Use the B Pad to get Confidence Pills. Now Conker can swim! Swim down
and back to where you entered. Go up, grab the money, go back to the cabin 
and exit.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
W i n d y | G r e a t  B a l l s  o f  P o o                            WIN6|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Great. Now you have a ball of poo. Go to the nearby hill and kill the Imps.
Now roll the ball of poo off the edge and it will hit the Imp down there.
Drop down onto the boards and press B on the switch in there. The cork at the
bottom will come out and suck up the two Imps in it. Now go into the lake and
to the door on the right into Bats Tower.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
B a t s  T o w e r | M r s .  C a t f i s h                             BAT1|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+

When inside, Conker will meet Mrs. Catfish. She'll tell you she will crack a
safe for you and give you 10% of what is in there if you get rid of the
Dogfish swimming around. Go to the Dogfish area and swim down into an
illuminated hole.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
B a t s  T o w e r | B a r r y ' s  M a t e                             BAT2|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Go up at the other side and over to the yellow cog, Carl. After him yelling,
Conker will flip him over to reveal his more calm side, Quentin. He will
explain the ordeal: Carl lost his 'friends', and you must help him, or
Quentin's life will be a misery. So now proceed to ascend the tower.
After ascending, pull the switch at the top to release the cogs and open the
gate. Now drop back down. 

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
B a t s  T o w e r | C o g ' s  R e v e n g e                           BAT3|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Hit the cog running around, pick it up, and go up the steps to put it on one 
of the pegs. Now go back to the water and dive to go into the newly opened 
hole. Avoid the Imps and get to the end to reach a cog. Do the same for it 
and swim back here after putting it on. This time go farther and the last 
cog should be there. Now bring it back and after you get insulted for 
bringing back his friend, run on the giant rotating switch to flip him off 
the peg he's on. Now the lady cogs will jump off the pegs and beat him up. 
When he regains conchienceness, he will be on Mr. Big Cog, and flip around to 
Quentin, who enjoys it. After the remainder, go back to Mrs. Catfish.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
B a t s  T o w e r | T h e  C o m b o n a t i o n                       BAT4|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
At the dock, the Catfish will follow you. Go to the safe and Mrs. Catfish
will open the door for you.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
B a t s  T o w e r | B l a s t  D o o r s                               BAT5|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
The money don't wannt go with you, so you gotta get it. Go on the B Pad and
when it goes over the next arrow in the sequence, shoot it. After entering it
in, the door to the water will open. Go on the B Pad below and Conker will
put on a Hard Hat with a light. Now dive.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
B a t s  T o w e r | C l e e t ' s  L a i r                             BAT6|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Dive down to the bottom, making frequent trips to the bubbles to get air. Go
through the Green lit tunnel, then at the end surface and use the B Pad to
put in a new battery. Now submerge and go through the Blue lit tunnel.
Now rise and pull the switch. Now go back to the starting point by going
through the Red (I think) lit tunnel, then the Yellow lit tunnel. Now go back
up into a new area where you can jump down a hole and exit.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
B a t s  T o w e r | P i s s t a s t i c                                BAT7|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
In this area, kill the Imp and continue forward. After the cinematic, go
behind you and use the B Pad to get Conker pissed. Now use your pissing
abilities to put out some Fire Imps. After you put out a few, the two you saw
before will hop in a boiler and release some giant brass testicles.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
B a t s  T o w e r | B r a s s  M o n k e y s                           BAT8|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
B o s s | B r a s s  B o l l o c k s  B o i l e r                       BOS4|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
To defeat the Brass Bollocks Boiler, get his attention, then jump on to one
on the pads in the corners. Once he starts his fire attack, jump up and pull
a switch to dump a load of poo on him to stun him. While he's stunned, go up
to him and press B next to his bollocks. Once you do this four times, he will
fall apart. Roll one of the Brass Balls on the pad next to the door, and then
roll another one down the path.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
B a t s  T o w e r | B u l l f i s h ' s  R e v e n g e                 BAT9|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
After the cutscene, you'll find out it's only a MEASLY $10. But you get to
keep it. Now, SWIM AS FAST YOU CAN TO THE DOCK! If you get to it
sucsessfully, you will win the chapter. Now go back to the Poo Cabin Area.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
W i n d y | G r e a t  B a l l s  o f  P o o  I I                       WIN7|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Grab the new ball of poo and roll it up the mountain, carefully to avoid the
Dung Beetles. At the top, Conker will stick some dynamite in it and roll it
off the edge into the giant Dung Beetle's mouth and make it explode.
Now get another ball of poo and go the other way up and roll it in the hole
and it will go through the hive, breaking the boards at the bottom. Enter at
the bottom for the next chapter.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
S l o p r a n o | C o r n  O f f  t h e  C o b                          SLO1|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
After the cutscene, you must whack the Sweet Corn and go to the ledge facing
the giant Poo lake. After tossing it in, tailspin over to the next place with
Sweet Corn and do the same. Then again with the next to trigger the next
boss battle.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
S l o p r a n o | S w e e t  M e l o d y                                SLO2|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
B o s s | G r e a t  M i g h t y  P o o                                 BOS5|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+

The key to defeating the GMP is to wait until he starts singing like "La la
LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA la la la la!" and go to the nearest B Pad to toss Toilet
Paper in his mouth. After doing this six times, he will break the glass
keeping you from the flusher. 

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
S l o p r a n o | U - B e n d  B l u e s                                SLO3|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Now pull the flusher to finish him off. Now go to the second ledge off and 
hop onto a platform. Keep hopping from platform to platform and go through 
the door. Now swim down into the pit and keep going until you can surface and
reach a doorway and go up a rope, then a ladder. Keep going.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
S l o p r a n o | T h e  B l u f f                                      SLO4|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Talk to the weasels and a cutscene will occur, and you will be in the next
area. Get to the other side of the Temple without getting thrown off by the
raptors, the on the next level do it again to get to the roof. Collect the
money and press B on the statue's head 3 times to get to the next chapter.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
U g a  B u g a | D r u n k e n  G i t s                                 UGA1|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Press B once more to pound the statue down and open the door below. Go in the
direction of the bar and roll the rolled-up rock guy through the recently
opened door and down the tunnel into the Sacrificial Room. Now go through the
door to the right of the Giant Dinosaur Head.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
U g a  B u g a | S a c r i f i c e !                                    UGA2|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Keep going through the path until you reach a part that goes right and to an
egg. Use the monk's stone to flip to the top of the egg and press B. After a
while the egg will hatch into a baby dino. Now continue along the path back
to the Sacrificial Room. Go back to the giant B Pad and shoot the Up Arrow to
make the stone go up. Lead the Dino on the platform and get it just right to
make him stay, now shoot the Down Arrow to sacrifice it. Now the GDH will
open it's mouth.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
U g a  B u g a | P h l e g m                                            UGA3|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Use the monk's stone to flip up to it's head to fix it's mucus problem.
When the smoke from the nostrils stop, hop into one and press B. Once you do
this with both of the nostrils, all the mucus will fly off and you can enter.
When you are in dodge all of the things and take the left passage through and
exit at the back. There you will find a dead caveman. Conker will take his
hat as a disguise.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
U g a  B u g a | W o r s h i p                                          UGA4|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Go back to the Sacrificial Room and the cavemen will start to worship you and 
follow you. Take them all back to the Rock Solid Bar and kill all the rock 
creatures, then go to the bouncer to gain entry into the bar.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
U g a  B u g a | R o c k  S o l i d                                     UGA5|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
First you must get the switch in front of you kept pressed. Go to the mini
bar and roll the bartender up to the switch. Now get pissed and pee on one of
the rock creatures to roll them into the door. Now go to the B Pad in the
center, then go forward from the entrance ramp and jump up the platforms and
roll the rock thing across, avoiding the female ones. At the end is a switch,
roll it over to open the other two doors. Now get pissed again and pee a
rock creature down into one of the doors and it will fall onto the cage
where Berri has been dancing. Now exit. After the cutscene this ends.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
U g a  B u g a | B o m b  R u n                                         UGA6|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Now Conker has a bomb. Hurry back from the bar, through the Dino God, and

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
U g a  B u g a | M u g g e d                                            UGA7|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
It's obvious what happens here. Now Conker will have to get his money back.
After the cutscene, go through the tunnel and on the Hover Board. Now you
have to race them, and be careful not to crash. Once you get close to a
cave brat, hit them and knock them off the board. After you knock off two,
the path will change and a gate will close, so you have to make a sharp right
into a narrow tunnel. Oh, and be careful NOT TO TOUCH ANYTHING OR YOU WILL
EXPLODE AND START THE STAGE OVER. After you kill all three, go up the ramp
for some cash and the exit to this horrible stage.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
U g a  B u g a | R a p t o r  F o o d                                   UGA8|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Payback for the last stage, AW YEAH! After the cutscene, approach the cavemen
to trigger another cutscene, then quickly run over to the B Pad and wait for
the raptor to approach you and use the B Pad to hypnotize it. When it's
hypnotized, climb on it's back and eat all the cavemen to make the Infantry
come out. Eat them all to get out the Spear Throwers. Eat them, then that
will trigger the next scene and the boss. (Note: If you get hit, the Raptor
will throw off Conker, and you will have to hypnotize it again.)

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
U g a  B u g a | B u g a  t h e  K n u t                                UGA9|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
B o s s | B u g a  t h e  K n u t                                       BOS6|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Now is a fun boss. He has two attacks: Jump, and Bone Smash. When he raises
his bone for the Bone Smash, use B to bite his crotch and his loin cloth will
call down. Now quickly circle behind him and press B to bite his butt. Now do
this three times to reveal his secret. Now after the occuring things, follow
the cash to the U-Bend from Sloprano. This time don't submerge, look around
and find a door. Now jump in the bowl to get back to the Poo Cabin.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
W i n d y | W a s p s '  R e v e n g e                                  WIN8|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Go back to Mrs. Bee to find the hive has been stolen again. This time it is
a deep insurgency mission. But you get QUADRUPLE. Wow. Now go back to the
Wasps' territory. Once inside, you will find the HMG. Hop in and kill a bunch
of Wasps, then after a while Conker will hop out and steal the hive. Now go
back to Mrs. Bee and she'll shoot them down again.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
W i n d y | M r .  B a r r e l                                          WIN9|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
By now you should have $2110. If not, check the Cash Locations. If so, go
up the Windmill mountain. At the top is Mr. Barrel. He will offer you a ride
for $2110. Hop on and roll down the mountain. At the end, Conker will be hit
so hard he'll stay down till night. Now go through the new tunnel you made
with Mr. Barrel.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
S p o o k y | M r .  D e a t h                                          SPO1|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Here, go through the tunnel while killing the Ceramic Dolls, and at the end
swim to the stairs at your left and kill the Dolls. Now dive off the broken
bridge and go up the ramp to where Gregg is messing around trying to kill the
Catfish from Bats Tower. Keep going, and jump off at the end and swim into
the demon's mouth. Jump off and pull the switch. Now go back to Gregg and get
the Shotgun! Now go through the door you opened to a Graveyard. In here, kill
a dozen zombies and Gregg will appear at the other end. After the cutscene,
go through the door to the next path. On this path, keep going while killing
all the Dolls and Skeleton Worms. At the house a looooong cutscene will
occur, and the next chapter will as well.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
S p o o k y | C o u n t  B a t u l a                                    SPO2|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Now Conker is a bat, and he will have to fly around the mansion finding
villagers and bringing them back to the Grinder to feed his anscestor.
My tactic is to go out to the Garden and just wait for a villager there.
Once you find one, you have to poop on them (Easier through Rectum View) and
grab them (Just get near them) and bring them back. You will need eight
villagers to complete this task. Once you accomplish this deed, Conker's
anscestor will be so heavy he will fall into the grinder himself and die.
Now Conker will return to normal.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
S p o o k y | Z o m b i e s                                             SPO3|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
In the foyer, you need three keys to exit. Here is the strategy:

Key 1: Go up the stairs and into the doorway on your left. Now keep going
past the pipe and into another doorway. Kill both zombies and go to the B Pad
and use the crossbow to kill the trio of bats. Now keep crossing the rafters
and grab the key at the end. Now go back as far as you can, and take the door
to the right and go down the path in the library to the foyer. Put it in to
raise a bridge to the garden,

Key 2: Go back to the library and take the path into the Grinder Room, and go
left into the doorway and go left again across the bridge into the garden.
Now jump the garden wall and go left for the key (It's the way to go if you
don't want to memorize the path) and exit the maze and go back to the foyer.

Key 3: Go back up the stairs, and back through the path you took to get the
the first key, and there should be a ladder right before the doorway to
the rafters. Climb it and jump off to the right, and pull the switch.
This will open a shortcut to the foyer. Now jump to the other side, and keep
going past the pipe. Do not grab the key yet, but go through the shortcut,
and draw your shotgun and kill the zombies. Now go back, grab the key, and
take the shortcut back to the foyer and put the key in to unlock the door.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
S p o o k y | M r .  B a r r e l                                        SPO4|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Now hop on Mr. Barrel to the left of the stairs and roll out the door. Keep
rolling along the path, through the cemetary, past the catfish and down the
ramp to the right upstream. Now run on the small hill and in the cave.
Now grab the money and jump down the hole to the place where you started
the game. Now run up past the bridge into the next chapter.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
I t ' s  W a r | I t ' s  W a r                                         ITS1|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
After the cutscene, go in the direction of the Wasps territory and go into
the newly opened door behind the barbed wire.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
I t ' s  W a r | P o w e r ' s  O f f                                   ITS2|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Go forward, and after the cutscene jump off to the right and pull the switch
to trigger te power and a B Pad. Now go back up and push the crate on the
rails left until the nail on the bottom is over the board. Now go up the hill
to your left and knock on the door to reveal a Blue Imp with a TNT barrel on
his back.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
I t ' s  W a r | T N T                                                  ITS3|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Now push the guy down the hill, and push him left, past the jumping crates,
then the crane, then keep doing that and get him to rest on the wall. Now get
another TNT Imp and push it right this time, dodging the spider mine things,
and he will rest at the end as well. Now go past the boxes and go forward to
the B Pad and shoot the TNT Imps to get rid of the plane. Now go down the
giant stone steps back near the crate you pushed and a cutscene will trigger,
and you will be at the island you saw from the B Pad.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
I t ' s  W a r | T h e  A s s a u l t                                   ITS4|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Now is a hard mission. You have to get to every metal cross thing while
the Machine Gun Tediz are reloading. Keep doing this until you get to another
squirrel, and after the cutscene, press B and Conker will pull out a cigar
and Mini-Uzis. Time to get serious.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
I t ' s  W a r | S o l e  S u r v i v o r                               ITS5|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Shoot the stuffing out of thos miserable plush toys, and grab the chocolate,
and shoot the lock off of the door near the dead squirrel. Kill all the Tediz
in this room and the door will open, but it will have lasers inside. Crawl
under them and walk through the next set. Keep going, and don't be surprised
by the Tediz that jump out from behind the crates. Jump through the gap in
the next set of lasers and kill the Tediz that drop down. Walk under the
lasers here and more Tediz will drop down. Kill them and one from behind the
stack of crates and continue forward. More Tediz drop. Kill them and go
forward and a cutscene will trigger. In this part jump the lasers and kill
all the Tediz and grab the chocolate. Dodge the fire and kill the Tediz.
Keep going and some Tediz will ambush you. Kill them and keep going.
Dodge the lasers and fire, and kill the Tediz at the end.
Jump over the next two lasers, then walk through the next three.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
I t ' s  W a r | C a s u a l i t y  D e p t .                           ITS6|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
After the cutscene, kill the medical Tediz in here and a giant medical Tediz
would come out of a pod. Keep away from it and once you kill it go to the
exit, talk to the squirrel and flip both switches to exit. In here kill the
Tediz and go toward the exit door to unleash a wave of Tediz. Hurry back to
the turret you passed and get in. The first Tediz wave will come from the
exit. The second from the entrance. Third, exit. Fourth, entrance.
The final one, both sides. After the final wave, exit.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
I t ' s  W a r | S a v i n g  P r i v a t e  R o d e n t                ITS7|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
After the cutscene, kill all of the Tediz, then meet up with Rodent. After
the cutscene, continue forward, avoiding the bombs. When you see a crab mine
pop up, hide behind Rodent to not get hurt. At the end, hop in the tank and
blast the glass, then hop out and go in.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
I t ' s  W a r | C h e m i c a l  W a r f a r e                         ITS8|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Keep going along the bridge. To dispose of the crabs, jump on their side then
hop back, and they will fall in the pit of chemicals. At the end, pull the
switch, and quickly get out. Now go through the door you just opened. To
lower the bridges, when the guns are up get out of the tank and spin over to
the other side and smash the B Pad on the drawbridge. On each slice of land
before the bridge, shoot the yellow and black striped things. After getting
all three, you  knock it down and can cross to where the tower was. Jump into 
the hole.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
I t ' s  W a r | L i t t l e  G i r l                                   ITS9|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Go over to the little girl. After the cutscene, go behind one of the rock
things to the B Pad that is glowing and shoot down the subs. If you see
another B Pad glowing, go to that one.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
I t ' s  W a r | T h e  E x p i r e m e n t                            ITS10|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Now talk to the little girl. After the cutscene, prepare to face the boss.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
B o s s | T h e  T h e  E x p i r e m e n t                             BOS7|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Hop into the tank, and go behind in one of the rock machine things.
For the first weapon, when she reloads it, shoot one to blow it up. Do the
same for the next one. Now come out and shoot the girl off the Expirement's
hand, then when it goes to pick her up, shoot the red thing on it's back to
damage it. For the lasers, hide behind a rock machine thing and come out just
enough so that you can shoot it's left hand but not get hit. Shoot it, then
come out a little more and rotate the camera so you can shoot it. Then do the
damaging process. For the missiles, when she stops firing, shoot one silo
then shoot the other next time. Now damage it again to kill it. After the
cutscene the action starts.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
I t ' s  W a r | C o u n t d o w n                                     ITS11|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Hop in the hole ahead of you. Get past the laser sets (Some you have to get
hit) and kill the Tediz. At the end, go next to the door to pull out a Rocket
Launcher. Kill all of the Tediz and exit. Now run back to the boat, while
killing all of the RPG Tediz. If you can do all of this in under 4:30, you
win the chapter.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
I t ' s  W a r | P e a c e  a t  L a s t                               ITS12|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
After all the cutscenes, the next chapter begins.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
H e i s t | T h e  W i n d m i l l ' s  D e a d                         HEI1|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
From the start, go up the windmill hill (All the worms are dead, don't worry)
and the windmill will be gone. After the cutscene, go in the hole at the
bottom to end up at the bank. Approach Don Weaslo to meet with Berri and get
a new outfit. Now go into the bank for the next chapter.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
H e i s t | E n t e r  t h e  V e r t e x                               HEI2|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
In this stage, just keep shooting weasels and use the B Pads to jump from 
side to side slowly. After a while the first laser barrier will deactivate.
Now keep doing this for the next three and you can access the next area.
In here, go to the next room and smack and collect three money packs to
trigger a series of cutscenes. After, pull the switch under the throne to
unlock a door with the suit in it. Now is the final boss!

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
H e i s t | T h e  V a u l t                                            HEI3|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
F i n a l  B o s s | H e i n r i c h                                    BOS8|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
To defeat Heinrich, keep punching him until Conker gives him an uppercut and
stuns him. Now grab him by the tail and swing him out the airlock. Do this
three times as it gets harder and trigger the final cutscene. View it in joy,
because... YOU WON!

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
M u l t i p l a y e r                                                   MUER|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Multiplayer consists of multiple modes, Live, Versus, Co-op, Solo, and
Chapter X. Now come closer, and I will tell you about MP. You can play as
either SHC or Tediz, sometimes objectives are the same, sometimes they are
different, it depends on the map.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
C l a s s e s                                                           CLES|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
1. Grunt

The basic of all classes, the all arounder, the average Joe, the Grunt.
He is the shortest of all classes, so if you are just starting Multiplayer,
you should stick with the Grunt for a while.

2. Sneeker

Being the only class with a sword, the Sneeker can be very lethal. Most 
people consider people who use the Sneeker cheaters, but the Sneeker is just
very powerful. With three hit kill combo, never underestimate the Sneeker.

3. Long Ranger

The Long Ranger is the only class that gets a Sniper Rifle, and with their
deadly weapon, watch out for your head, as many maps have private platforms
in which the LR can blow your pretty little head clean off! Watch out for 
the laser targeting!

4. Sky Jockey

The only class that can go airborne, they also have a parachute that deploys
when B is pressed. They can also fire missiles and drop bombs, these are a
perfect choice for people who like games like Ace Combat.

5. Thermophile

A lethal class, the Thermophile, if used right can be very deadly. With the
power of flames at their hand, they can also fire acid to destroy mech units,
Either of them pretty much gets the job done.

6. Demolisher

The most powerful of all classes, the Demolisher is also very slow. All I can
say is, if you need firepower without moving, the Demo's your man.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
5. W e a p o n s                                                        WENS|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
This section will be up soon!

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
5. M a p s                                                              WENS|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
1. Beach Dead (Old War)

Objectives: Clear the barriers and shoot off Von Kriplespac's legs. (SHC), 
or defend Von Kriplespac (Tediz)

Difficulty: Easy

Best Class: Thermophile or Demolisher

Worst Class: Sneeker

Description: The first mission you should go on, pretty basic. Go with Tediz
if you need to practice your killing.


2. Fortress Deux

Objectives: Capture the enemy flag, defend your own (Both)

Difficulty: Easy

Best Class: Sneeker or Sky Jockey

Worst Class: Demolisher

Description: Your basic CTF map. If you know the path to the other flag,
this map is as easy as hell.


3. Castle von Tedistein

Objectives: Claim all of the buttons, and hop into the machine opposite
your side. (Both)

Difficulty: Medium

Best Class: Long Ranger or Sneeker

Worst Class: Thermophile

Description: This is a great map if you want to practice your headshots, 
it's how I became an exellent Sniper. Also, if you consider it, also 
great practice for the Sneeker, since it's hitting certain points. 
Yes, I am a loser.


4. A Bridge Too Narrow

Objectives: Capture the enemy Map Fragment, protect your own. (Both)

Difficulty: Medium

Best Class: Sneeker

Worst Class: Demolisher

Description: Another basic CTF map, except this is with little Map Fragments
on poles with atoms surrounding them or something like that...


5. Three Towers

Objectives: Capture all Three Towers, destroy the enemy's item (Both)

Difficulty: Medium

Best Class: Sneeker

Worst Class: Thermophile

Desctiption: A capture the point map. That's all.


6. Doon

Objectives: Destroy the Panther King (SHC), or protect him (Tediz)

Difficulty: Medium

Best Class: Thermophile or Demolisher

Worst Class: Long Ranger

Description: Fun! You should have mucho fun on this map, since it's... FUN!


7. T. M. S. Spamono

Objectives: Capture the energy orb, bring it to enemy base, toss it in the
enemy hole... thing. (Both)

Difficulty: Hard

Best Class: Sneeker

Worst Class: Demolisher

Description: Alas, tis hard to do, what with all the Snipers and stuff...
even if you ARE a Sneeker, tis very hard.


8. The Ditch

Objectives: Capture the flag, return to towers.

Difficulty: Hard

Best Class: Sneeker

Worst Class: Sky Jockey

Description: Another CTF map, this one the hardest ever. It's just hard.

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
S u r e  S h o t s                                                      SUTS| 
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
This section contains the spots I found in the game that I think really help
you out.

None yet!

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
5. E x t r a s                                                          EXAS|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+

1. 10 Extra Lives

To get ten lives with a single tail, climb on top of the Cheese Field, and
when it dips down, tail spin and press B to turn into an anvil, breaking the
wall and revealing a tail worth ten lives!

-----

2. Great Mighty Poo Song Lyrics (Uncut)

I am the Great Mighty Poo,
and I'm going to throw my shit at you,
a huge supply of tish,
come from my chocolate starfish,
how about some scat you little twat?

Do you really thing you'll survive in here?
You don't seem to know which creek you're in.
Sweet Corn is the only thing that makes through to my rear,
how do you think I keep this lovely grin?

Have some more caviar. Ha ha haa.

Now I'm really getting rather mad,
you're like a niggly tiggly shitty little tag nut.
When I knock you out with all my bab,
I'm going to take your head and ram it up my butt!
Conker: Your butt?
GMP: My butt!
Conker: Your butt?
GMP: That's right my butt!
Conker: Auugh.
GMP: My butt!
Conker: Auugh.
GMP: MY BUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!

-----

3. First Death Cutscene Transcript:

(Conker is on the ground)

???: Conker. Conker. Conker. Yes, you boy. You're dead. You are dead. Dead as
a dodo. Deader than a... *Microphone wears out*

Gregg: I can't be arsed with this bloddy rediculous contraption. Whose idea
was this, anyway? Right, hello, my name's Gregg, the Grim Reaper. And don't
laugh.

Conker: Aren't you a little short to be a Grim Reaper?

Gregg: Well how many Grim Reapers have you met before, mate? What am I
supposed to look like?

Conker: Yeah, that's a good point and well made.

Gregg: Now, let's see. Ah yes, Conker. Surname?

Conker: The Squirrel.

Gregg: The Squirrel. Oh, bloody Hell, you had to be a sodding Squirrel,
didn't you?

Conker: Why, is there a problem with that?

Gregg: Why yes there is, actually. It's like those bloody Cats. Such a pain
in the arse. You're one of these 'special cases.'

Conker: Oh, really?

Gregg: Yes, apparently. according to the powers that be. I'm just doing my
job. I do what I'm told. I don't even get paid very much. Apparently,
Squirrels can have as many lives as they think they can get away with.

Conker: Oh, I see. So I'm not dead?

Gregg: You're dead. But not quite.

Conker: Right. I'll be off then! *Starts walking away*

Gregg: Just you wait, smart arse. *Blocks Conker's path with scythe* You're
not getting out of it that easily. Now, the thing is, you may not be dead,
but that doesn't mean you can't die. You just have a few more, shall we
say... chances. Like Cats. I hate those things! Distributed around your world
are these little tail things. Squirrels' tails. If you can get them, I'll 
give you an extra chance. Understand?

Conker: Well, sounds a bit strange, but ok.

Gregg: Strange? It's the best bloody deal you're going to get, you little prick.
Right, that's it, piss off. I've got some cats to see. *Walking away while
murmuring the following* Bloody things. I hate those bloddy cats. The way they
always meow and piss everywhere... and their shit smells just...just bloody 
awful all over my furnaiture....

-----

4. Berri Ad

If you didn't notice, there is an ad for Berri in the bathroom in "It's War".
It says "Call Berri. She's waiting for your Conkers... 555-2368", with a 
picture of Berri touching herself. Here are some pictures:

http://www.zenblue.net/ded/Call_Berri1.jpg
http://www.zenblue.net/ded/Call_Berri2.jpg

---



Now I will get more extras up as I find them!

+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
6. C l o s i n g                                                        CLNG|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+

Well, this is the end of my faq. We've had some great times... *cue sad
music* But I will add more! In the meantime, you can contact me at
[email protected]! Here is a list of Dos and Don'ts for contacting me:

DO send me suggestions.
DO send me CONSTRUCTIVE critisizim.
DO send me stuff I missed.
DO send mw questions

DON'T send me complaints.
DON'T snd me spelin erors i mad.
DON'T send me stuff like 'this guide suks, u suk'
DON'T send me off-topic stuff.

I give credit to:

Rareware for creating Conker. I still can't believe you sold out to 
Microsoft.
GameFAQs for accepting this Faq, as you are among one of my favorite sites.
You, for reading this.

Sites permitted to use this:

GameFAQs
Neoseeker
CheatCC

If you ask me NICELY, I might let you also use this on your site.

Well, goodbye!