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X| |X
X| "Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas" Hidden Text FAQ |X
X| [WARNING: EXPLICIT LANGUAGE] |X
X| |X
X| [PlayStation 2, Xbox, and PC Versions] |X
X| Version 1.8 [Revision 2] (August 2009) |X
X| |X
X| By Robert Allen Rusk. |X
X| Copyright 2004-2009 Robert Allen Rusk. |X
X| |X
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>>Contact Information
*******************
EMAIL: rarusk[gnat]netzero[snot]com
FACEBOOK: Robert Allen Rusk (San Antonio, TX, USA)
XBOX LIVE GAMERTAG: RARusk
[NOTE: the [gnat] replaces the "@" symbol in the e-mail address. It is
to thwart spambots looking for email addresses to send spam to.
Simply replace [gnat] with "@" when responding. I chose [gnat]
because it rhymes with "at" and is easy to remember. Same goes
for "." - [snot].]
>>General Notices
***************
NOTICE: This guide may only be distributed and/or posted in its original
format (and, most importantly, UNALTERED in any way).
If you wish to post or use excerpts from this guide, PLEASE ask for my
permission before doing so (especially if you work for a magazine or
website). A lot of time and effort was spent putting this thing together
and that should be taken into consideration.
And remember.....
"Respect is everything."
Besides, contacting me will also give me an opportunity to hook up and talk
shop with fellow San Andreas "thuggers".....
*****************************************************************************
"Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas" is copyright 2004-2005 by Rockstar Games, a
subsidiary of Take-Two Interactive Software, Inc. All rights reserved.
All other trademarks and copyrights contained in this document are owned by
their respective trademark and copyright holders.
*****************************************************************************
Added new contact information and tweaked the dates.
0===========================================================================0
/XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX\
0==========================0
| Additional Contributions |
0==========================0
\XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX/
--Emily Carroll
--SecretSauna
--Brad
--Haenlomal
/XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX\
0================================0
| Other Documents I Have Written |
0================================0
\XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX/
Strategy Guides
***************
>>"Grand Theft Auto III" (PS2, Xbox, PC)
>>"Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories" (PS2)
>>"Grand Theft Auto: Vice City" (PS2, Xbox, PC)
>>"Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories" (PS2)
>>"Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas" (PS2, Xbox, PC)
>>"Grand Theft Auto IV" (Xbox 360, PS3)
>>"Grand Theft Auto IV: The Lost and Damned" (Xbox 360)
>>"Bully" (PS2)
>>"Bully: Scholarship Edition" (Xbox 360)
>>"Stubbs The Zombie" (Xbox)
>>"The Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena" (Xbox 360, PS3)
>>"The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape From Butcher Bay" (Xbox)
One of the earlier versions of my "TCoR: EFBB" guide can be found in the book
"GameFAQs Presents.....The Ultimate Xbox Strategy Guide" published (in 2004)
by Future Network USA.
FAQs
****
>>Differences Between The Three Versions Of "Grand Theft Auto: Vice City"
for PlayStation 2
>>"Grand Theft Auto: Vice City" Suggested Music List FAQ (for Xbox and PC
versions)
>>"Grand Theft Auto: Vice City" Hidden Text FAQ
>>"Rumble Roses XX" Character Story FAQ (Xbox 360)
*****************************************************************************
Although my guides and FAQs can be found at many sites around the internet
the latest versions of my work can always be found first at GameFAQs since
that is my primary contribution site.
*****************************************************************************
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| Table of Contents |
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/XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX\
0=========================================0
| I. Introduction And General Information |
0=========================================0
\XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX/
1. Who Am I?
2. My Setup
3. About The FAQ
/XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX\
0==============================================0
| II. Hidden Text [WARNING: EXPLICIT LANGUAGE] |
0==============================================0
\XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX/
1. Activating The Gyms
2. Clearing The Streets
3. "Sweet's Girl" (Sweet Johnson)
4. Raiding The Impound Lot
5. "Wrong Side Of The Tracks..." (Big Smoke)
6. "Life's A Beach" (OG Loc)
7. "Doberman" (Sweet Johnson)
8. "Farewell, My Love..." (Cesar Vialpando)
9. A Tank Mission For Zero
10. "Photo Opportunity" (Loco Syndicate)
11. "Monster" (?)
12. "Learning To Fly" (Verdant Meadows Flight School)
13. Rescuing The Truth
14. "Don Peyote" (The Four Dragons Casino)
15. "Key To Her Heart" (The Heist)
16. "Cop Wheels" (The Heist)
17. "Fish In A Barrel" (The Four Dragons Casino)
18. "Breaking The Bank At Caligula's" (The Heist)
19. "Beat Down On B Dup" (Sweet Johnson)
20. Looking For Big Smoke
/XXXXXXXXXXXX\
0==============0
| III. Credits |
0==============0
\XXXXXXXXXXXX/
/XXXXXXXXXXXXXX\
0================0
| IV. Conclusion |
0================0
\XXXXXXXXXXXXXX/
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| I. Introduction And General Information |
0===XX====XX====XX====XX====XX====0##***##0====XX====XX====XX====XX====XX===0
\==XX====XX====XX====XX====XX====0##***##0====XX====XX====XX====XX====XX==/
/=========================================================================\
0===========================================================================0
| I.1. Who Am I? |
0===========================================================================0
\=========================================================================/
My name is Robert Allen Rusk and I am a hardcore gamer with about 30+ years
of gaming experience. I am an ex-gametester (Broderbund Software, LucasArts
Games, Point Of View Computing) and an ex-arcade attendant (Namco
Cyberstation - Pier 39, San Francisco, CA).
I also own multiple systems such as the Sega Dreamcast, Super Nintendo,
Nintendo 64, Atari Jaguar, PlayStation 1 and 2, Xbox, and Xbox 360.
I currently work at JCPenneys at one of the malls here in San Antonio, TX.
Retail isn't the best job in the world but JCPenneys is a very stable company
unlike some of the other places I have worked for in the past like internet
service providers or web programming companies.
I started writing guides in 2003 because I felt it was something I could do
utilizing my writing skills gained in college and gametesting along with my
passion for vidgames. Over time I have honed my overall writing and
organization skills plus my creative thinking skills. I have extended the
play value of the games I have written guides and FAQs for many times over
plus I have received many letters from all over the world.
I am also what one may call an RGB enthusiast. I hack my game consoles to try
to get the best possible video from them and that usually involves tapping
into the RGB Analog video signals and using them on the right monitors to
achieve my desires. To this end I became a member of the GamesX.com mod forum
and I post regularly on their "RGB + Video Discussions" forum area.
In addition, I am a member of the X-Otic Computer Systems of San Antonio
(www.xcssa.org), a group who specializes in Linux, Mac, and other systems.
I am also a regular forum poster at GameFAQs, an occasional poster at
www.Atariage.com and Digital Press, and I am also a member of the MOFAT (a
members only message board set up by "Grand Theft Auto: Vice City" players
who met on the Vice City message boards at GameFAQs).
Outside of gaming, my interests include Godzilla (I have been a G-Fan since
the age of ten) and Red Dwarf (I own all eight series on DVD).
As far as favorite sports teams go my teams are the San Antonio Spurs (NBA)
[the local team], the Denver Broncos (NFL) [although I live in Texas I am
originally from Colorado Springs, Colorado], and the Air Force Falcons (NCAA
Football).
/=========================================================================\
0===========================================================================0
| I.2. My Setup |
0===========================================================================0
\=========================================================================/
This guide was constructed using BBEdit Lite 6.1 and a Power Mac Workgroup
Server 8550/200 (with a G3 card running at 330 MHz). It is now being
maintained using TextWrangler 2.1.2 on a 1.5Ghz Single Core Intel Mac Mini. I
view my work in Safari to help in seeing how it would look on the web and
correct format errors.
For this particular document I placed the PlayStation 2 (Original) version of
San Andreas into my Mac's DVD-ROM drive. From there I copied the file called
"american.gxt" to the hard drive. Then I opened it up in BBEdit Lite and
removed most of the garbage characters with the Find and Replace feature.
After that I went through the document and found the stuff I did not
recognize from all the hours spent playing San Andreas. That stuff was copied
to another text document for futher sorting and processing.
/=========================================================================\
0===========================================================================0
| I.3. About The FAQ |
0===========================================================================0
\=========================================================================/
Welcome to my San Andreas Hidden Text FAQ! This FAQ goes over the large
amount of text that was written up but was not used in the game but was
buried instead of removed. This was also done on "Grand Theft Auto III" and
"Grand Theft Auto: Vice City" but not to the extent of what was done for San
Andreas.
The material being presented here is actual text found on the game disc in
the file called "american.gxt". I did not make any of it up and if you put it
your computer and open it up in a text editor you can see it for yourself.
What I have done here is sort everything out as best I could so I can
properly present it. In the process of sorting the text I tried to find out
who says what and what was supposed to happen within the sequence of events.
Some of the text was easy to sort through and some of it was very difficult.
In some cases I have left ? to notate what I could not figure out.
In my GTA3 and Vice City guides I put the hidden text near the end to show
readers. However, because of all of the explicit language found in San
Andreas, I decided to create a separate FAQ for the hidden text found in SA.
If I put it in my San Andreas guide I would run the risk of it not being
accepted on certain sites because of the language.
Normally I don't use a lot of rough language in my work. However, with this
document I have no choice if I wish to present my findings to fellow San
Andreas fans. This is stuff written by Rockstar and I did not want to do any
kind of censoring on it as a matter of writing integrity. Besides, if I did
any censoring there wouldn't be much of a document.....
In some of the chapters there is something called Character Lines. They are
lines used by the characters during the mission.
In-Game Text are lines used by the game itself to inform you of what you
should do or to tell you of either a mission success or failure.
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| II. Hidden Text [WARNING: EXPLICIT LANGUAGE] |
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/=========================================================================\
0===========================================================================0
| II.1. Activating The Gyms |
0===========================================================================0
\=========================================================================/
Listed in this chapter are alternate text for phone calls that lead to the
opening of the Gyms. One conversation is with Sweet and the other is with Big
Smoke.
In previous versions of this document I stated that this is hidden text but
Haenlomal has proven that it is not and even shows how to activate them:
"For Sweet's alternate text, it's easy. Simply fulfill the conditions
for activating the gym while CJ's Fat Stat is at 45% (yes, that's a
45%, NOT the more anticpated 50%) or higher, and Sweet will poke fun at
CJ's weight making his call. Very easy to verify as the "Drive Thru"
mission is very early on in a new game. You can even finish the mission
and quickly go to a restaurant and eat until you reach the fat level,
though it's much easier to eat first before doing "Drive Thru".
Big Smoke's alternate text is a bit more complex, and has actually
nothing to do with activating the gyms at all. In order to trigger Big
Smoke's phone call, you have to fail the mission "Running Dog" by
letting the Vagos escape (NOT by getting wasted or busted), and at the
time of mission fail, you need CJ's Fat Stat to be at 50% or higher (so
no eating after mission fail -- that does not work). After that
happens, Big Smoke will call in a little bit to badger poor CJ. Again,
very easy to verify since Running Dog is only a couple of easy missions
beyond Drive Thru. I guess the reason why nobody seems to see this text
is that Running Dog is an extremely easy mission to pass even for
someone with no stamina, and most people haven't bothered to bump up
the Fat to anywhere close to 50% so early in the game anyway. I guess
this also means that tecnically speaking, Big Smoke's text isn't really
an alternate for Activating the Gyms, but oh well....
So, to summarize....
To get Sweet's alternate text:
1) Finish "Drive Thru" Mission
2) Have Fat Stat at 45% or greater before the phone rings
To get Big Smoke's "alternate text":
1) Fail the Mission "Running Dog" by letting enemy escape
2) Do NOT fail by getting busted or wasted
3) Fat Stat must be at 50% or higher at mission fail time"
Although this text is no longer considered hidden I am keeping this chapter
in the FAQ so you can try to activate them using Haenlomal's methods.
Listed below is the alternate text:
##########[Alternate text 1]##########
+++[CJ answers phone]+++
CJ: "Whassup?"
Sweet: "Your fat to muscle ratio, that's what's up!"
CJ: "Sweet? What you on my back for now?"
Sweet: "I know we're mourning Moms and all, But there's no need to let
yourself go, CJ."
CJ: "So I put a little weight on, but...."
Sweet: "There's a gym I go to just up a couple of blocks from the Grove. Go
check it out."
CJ: "OK, I'm gonna see what's up, man. But with the fat jokes, you're gonna
give me a complex."
##########[Alternate text 2]##########
+++[CJ answers phone]+++
Big Smoke: "Yo Carl, it's Smoke."
CJ: "Hey Smoke."
Big Smoke: "Hey Carl, I don't mean no disrespect so don't take it like that.
Uh, I gotta give you some advice."
CJ: "What?"
Big Smoke: "The gym my friend. You're letting yourself go."
CJ: "That's a bit much, coming from you."
Big Smoke: "Hey look, Carl, I'm big boned. But I'm still an athlete. You're
letting yourself go my friend. And to be honest with you, it's
breaking my heart."
CJ: "Gimme a break, I ain't as fat as you."
Big Smoke: "I'm trying, I'm trying! And I'm trying to help you help yourself,
my brother. The gym, Carl. You hear me?"
CJ: "Screw you, man."
/=========================================================================\
0===========================================================================0
| II.2. Clearing The Streets |
0===========================================================================0
\=========================================================================/
At some point you were to clear the streets of pushers to help in the
rebuilding of the Families. There is also some alternate text connected to
this assignment:
+++[CJ answers phone]+++
CJ: "'Sup?"
Sweet: "CJ, it's Sweet. I thought you were on top of that problem."
CJ: "Which problem? I got problems knee deep!"
Sweet: "Hey, man, there's pushers all over Ganton. I thought you was going to
put in time for your hood, man."
CJ: "Tss, don't sweat me, bro. I'm on it."
Sweet: "I hope so 'cause a lot of homies falling to that rock!"
CJ: "Like I said, I'm on it."
Sweet: "Yeah? You seen your soldiers recently? You seen what the streets are
like?"
CJ: "What you talking about?"
Sweet: "Damn base-heads! The Grove Street Families needs OG's, Not
whacked-out chickenheads! They won't roll when they so high!"
CJ: "I'll go see what I can see."
Sweet: "Well open your eyes this time!"
##########[Alternate text]##########
CJ: "Wassup?"
Sweet: "What did I tell you about keeping an eye on yo'hood?"
CJ: "Yeah, my bad. Shit been hectic, man."
Sweet: "Grove Street's full of strawberries! Ain't no OG out here who ain't
high on yay! No motherfucker going to bang when they fried!"
CJ: "I'll tell you what. I'm a do a hood patrol, find the pushers, and whack
'em."
Sweet: "You damn straight you will!"
/=========================================================================\
0===========================================================================0
| II.3. "Sweet's Girl" (Sweet Johnson) |
0===========================================================================0
\=========================================================================/
For this mission there was an alternate intro plus you had to cover Sweet and
his girl as they headed to your car. There is also some alternate text while
inside the car heading back to Sweet's house:
##########[Mission intro]##########
CJ: "Yo, Sweet! Sweet, Smoke? Shit, where all the homies at?"
+++[Phone rings]+++
CJ: "Hey Sweet, I was just looking for you man, wassup?"
Sweet: "I been with some girl and now I'm stuck."
CJ: "I ain't about to come help prise you two apart!"
Sweet: "No, CJ, that ain't what I meant. She's Seville Boulevard Familes,
and we ain't cool no more. They all over the streets outside her
house and I ain't heated!"
CJ: "Yo' dick still dropping you in it, Bro! I'll see what I can do. Be ready
to run when I holla, alright?"
Sweet: "That's my nigga! I'll be ready! Oh, and swing by Emmet's, you might
need a nine!"
##########[End of intro]##########
+++[CJ arrives for the rescue]+++
Sweet's Text
************
"Cover my girl, CJ!"
"Keep their heads down, my girl's coming out!"
"Hurry it up, CJ, we gotta move!"
"CJ, get in this damn car and roll!"
"CJ, there's some heat in my car!"
"CJ, there's a piece in the trunk of my car!"
+++[Sweet and girlfriend get in car and CJ drives off]+++
CJ: "Where we goin' then?
Sweet: "She should hang out at our place, until those Seville fools calm
down. Just want to make things clear, though, we ain't no item or
nothing like that - nothing like that, baby."
Girl: "And what was last night, huh? And what's with all the, "Girl, you're
somethin' special!" And, "C'mon, girl, you know I love you!"
Sweet: "Well I do, just don't think there's no wedding bells around the
corner, that's all."
Girl: "We will talk about this in private, Sweet Johnson!"
CJ: "You in trouble now, Sweet."
Sweet: "Eyes on the road, motherfucker!"
+++[Seville gang chases car]+++
Sweet's Text
************
"We got Seville on our tail, CJ!"
"Pick it up, CJ, we ain't givin' up!"
"Seville Families on our case, nigga!"
"Shit, they're trying to ram us!"
"CJ, they're trying to ram us!"
+++[Complete drive to Sweet's house]+++
##########[End of mission]##########
/=========================================================================\
0===========================================================================0
| II.4. Raiding The Impound Lot |
0===========================================================================0
\=========================================================================/
After the mission "High Stakes, Low Rider" (Cesar Vialpando) you were to
supposed to get a phone call from Cesar. Kendl suggested to Cesar that he
should invite CJ over to get to know him a bit better. This would lead to a
mission for Cesar.
You were supposed to get a reasonably nice car and drive it over to his
house. Once there, Cesar was going to tune it up for CJ and socialize at the
same time. However, the car gets towed before they can do anything so the
boys head over to the Police Station to retrieve it from the Impound Lot.
This one was a bit of a pain to sort out. There are some lines between Cesar
and CJ that go on while they are driving to the lot. Special thanks to Brad
for pointing something out so I could correct it. There are also some lines
spoken by the cops and the usual In-Game Text:
+++[CJ gets phone call]+++
CJ: "Now who's the loser?"
Cesar: "Eehh, I guess I am, holmes."
CJ: "Ooh shit, Cesar, sorry man. I thought you was Kendl. We got this thing
going since we were kids."
Cesar: "That's OK, ese. You drove good today."
CJ: "Yeah, thanks."
Cesar: "Anyway, I call to invite you over. Your sister say we should hang
out, get to know each other."
CJ: "Eerr, OK, what you got planned?"
Cesar: "You wanna see my garage? I got some beer."
CJ: "Yeah, OK."
Cesar: "Bring a nice car, holmes, I'll tune it up for you."
CJ: "For sure. I'll see you later."
+++[End of phone call]+++
##########[Mission intro]##########
CJ: "Que pasa, Cesar!"
Cesar: "Hey, Holmes! There's some beers up on the bench right there. Just got
to finish up under the hood, eh."
CJ: "So, eerr, how are you and my sister doing?"
Cesar: "Just fine, CJ. So, how are you and, eerrm - Who are you seeing at the
moment?"
CJ: "You know me, I ain't found the right girl yet."
Kendl: "You ain't never going to find the right girl coz you treat them all
like shit."
Cesar: "Easy, angel, man don't find love, love finds man, eh chico."
CJ: "Yeah, I guess it does..."
Cesar: "So, CJ, let's see your wheels."
CJ: "They ain't nothing special, just, you know..."
Cesar: "Let Cesar work his magic, I'll make it special."
+++[Goes to car but car is gone]+++
CJ: "What the fuck? Oh shit, it's been towed!"
Cesar: "Damn! What's the matter with this city? They're always towing
people's shit! I didn't even hear them! Did you hear them?"
CJ: "Damn! What are they, the secret car-towing service? Fuck! Damn!"
Cesar: "Don't worry, holmes. We can get it back. I know where the impound is.
It's cool. Be back in a bit, baby..."
+++[Cesar motions to Kendl]+++
##########[End of intro]##########
Character Lines
***************
Cesar: "The Los Santos Police precinct is in Pershing Square in Commerce."
CJ: "Yeah, I know Pershing Square...
Cesar: "There's an entrance to the left that leads to the underground
carpark. At the back is a garage that holds the impounded vehicles."
CJ: "Ah man, this is gonna be crawling with cops!"
Cesar: "Yeah I know, but if your prize car is missing when you come back to
it, It's probably been towed."
CK: "A'right man, thanks, I guess I can take it from here."
Cop Lines
*********
"Hey you! Police. Stop!"
"Hey, what are you doing in here?"
"Hey, this is police property!"
"OK punk, have it your way!"
"Hi there. In y'go."
"How's it going? OK, it's open."
"Hold on. There you go, pal."
"Oh, man, C'mon..."
"Somebody shoot the ref!"
"Catch it! Catch it!
In-Game-Text
************
"The cops are on to you. Lose the heat!"
"Get to the Pay 'n' Spray."
"Enter the Pay 'n' Spray."
"You can use the Pay 'n' Spray in Willowfield."
"This is the Los Santos police precinct. Also home to the city's impounded
vehicles."
"An entrance at the side of the precinct leads to its secure underground car
park."
"Impounded vehicles are found down here, but it's a hive of cop activity."
"The garage at the rear is where yours and other impounded vehicles are
held."
"You need a car for Cesar to work on."
"You're meant to get the car back safely."
"Get to the impound and retrieve your car."
"Get a car and take it to Cesar's place."
"Get back in the car."
"Get back to Cesar's place."
"Cesar won't work on this vehicle! Try something else."
/=========================================================================\
0===========================================================================0
| II.5. "Wrong Side Of The Tracks..." (Big Smoke) |
0===========================================================================0
\=========================================================================/
There was a lot of alternate text in this mission. Plus you were supposed to
grab a package that would be dropped by the Vagos:
##########[After intro CJ drives Big Smoke to Unity Station]##########
Big Smoke: "You know the parable of the wise sheep Carl?"
CJ: "No. I don't think I do."
Big Smoke: "Well, you should pay attention to what I'm going to say."
CJ: "Okay."
Big Smoke: "The wise sheep does what he says, and only eats the greenest
grass, while the foolish sheep gets eaten alive by heathens."
CJ: "What are you talking about?"
Big Smoke: "I'm thinking of going into the ministry in later life. Just
testing shit out."
CJ: "Whatever. What we looking for, Smoke?"
Big Smoke: "Some Vagos cats meeting some San Fierro Rifa, cutting some kind
of deal."
CJ: "San Fierro? I thought Northern Mexicans don't mix with Los Santos eses."
Big Smoke: "Shit, you got me. That look like them!"
+++[Vagos are spotted and jump on train]+++
CJ: "Motherfuckers clocked us! We got to get those fools!"
Big Smoke: "Follow that train! Go after that loco, CJ! Follow the tracks!"
+++[Bot CJ and Big Smoke get on bike]+++-
CJ: "This thing wasn't built to take so much weight!"
Big Smoke: "You're the one packing on the pounds, CJ!"
CJ: "They don't call you BIG Smoke for nothing!"
Big Smoke: "Shit, I was born big, fool! You, on the other hand, have a
dietary problem! Roll up on them CJ, so I can get a shot!"
Big Smoke's Lines
*****************
"Get me close, CJ. I'm about to pop these fools."
"Move this shit, man I'm gonna ice these fools, man."
"Oh fuck! An on-coming train!"
"Train, CJ, train!"
"Look the fuck out, CJ! The train!"
"Damn, that boy's gonna be shittin' his kidneys for a week!"
"Man, he ain't gonna be eatin' shit for a while."
"That's one Vagos asshole gone!"
"Take the high road on the right, CJ!"
"Keep right, take us up to their level!"
"Take the high ground on the right, CJ! On the right!"
"CJ, keep us up here."
"Follow it over, CJ!"
"Make the jump, fool! Make the jump!"
+++[After killing all of the Vagos]+++
Big Smoke: "Damn! That's what we wanted!"
CJ: "Man, look at all that cash!"
Big Smoke: "Sh-ha ha ha! Help yourself baby! Help yourself baby!"
CJ: "Screw this, those maniacs won't stop until we're dead!"
Big Smoke: "That's what we're after! They gave it up! There's our baby! Hey,
I need to get this back to my crib! C'mon CJ, let's head back to
my spot. Hey, let's get outta here before the cops show, man."
+++[CJ and Big Smoke get back on bike]+++
CJ: "Why Tenpenny want that package?"
Big Smoke: "Who-penny?"
CJ: "Don't bullshit me, Smoke!"
Big Smoke: "Carl, man, there's something about you man, some kinda"
CJ: "Smoke, when you gonna stop with this weird bullshit?"
Big Smoke: "The truth is Carl, we've been lost while you been gone, but now
we saved again."
CJ: "What's in the package, Smoke?"
Big Smoke: "The problem is, too many of the chosen ones' get killed before
their time, man."
CJ: "If the afterlife means peace from your bullshit, I think I'm ready.
What's in the damn package, Smoke? No more bullshit!"
Big Smoke: "I dunno, homie. I'm just trying to help these officers keep shit
off the streets, man. I don't trust them."
CJ: "Sometimes, trust ain't an option, homie."
+++[CJ drives Big Smoke back to his place]+++
##########[End of mission]##########
/=========================================================================\
0===========================================================================0
| II.6. "Life's A Beach" (OG Loc) |
0===========================================================================0
\=========================================================================/
There was a lot of unused text for this mission. When you are at the beach
party there was some text to go with whatever the partygoers said as you hung
around the fire. There are some real gems on that list. In addition there was
a couple of phone calls that were made between CJ and OG Loc after you swiped
the van:
##########[After intro CJ drives down to the party]##########
Lines used by partygoers
************************
"Been here two months and all I've done is porno."
"It's great to relax after a day's shoot."
"Great party!"
"This is so romantic!"
"I love sitting around a fire!"
"The sea is stunning!"
"At first I struggled, but now I can take the full twelve."
"It's the group scenes I enjoy the most."
"From pain to ecstasy, the full range!"
"Hi, you want to dance?"
"Don't be shy, join in!"
"C'mon and dance!"
"Sit down and enjoy the party."
"This is simply blissful!"
"Let your troubles melt away."
"Then he came in my face, oh, hello!"
"It's all about rhythm..."
"It's best to imagine it's someone you like!"
"For now, porno pays the bills."
"Anybody want another beer?"
"Hey, who's this fellow?"
"Getting sand in my trucks!"
"Great aerobic workout!"
"Get those feet moving!"
"This is pure, you know?"
"A fire makes a beach party..."
"Could stay here for hours..."
"So I said to her, "Anaerobic, you bitch"!"
"The sea looks real beautiful..."
"Anybody got an isotonic sport drink?"
"C'mon, get that body working!"
"Get dancing, you square!"
"Can't you feel the rhythm of life?"
"You wanna seat by the fire?"
"C'mon, sit down, plenty of room!"
"Great party, isn't it?"
"Hey, who's this guy?"
"You wanna join us, buddy?"
"Take a seat and grab a beer!"
"This party's pretty cool, huh?"
"Anybody know this guy?"
"Best way to relax on a day like this."
"The sky is so awesome!"
"This girl knows how to spin those decks man"
"Man, why aren't more people dancing?"
"I think I've had too much to drink..."
"I think I need to go puke..."
"That last beer was too much man..."
"Hey, I heard Madd Dogg is recording a new LP!"
"The sand's getting in my shorts!"
"Dude, I am trippin' on these tunes!"
"C'mon, dude, dance!"
"Don't cramp my style!"
"What you lookin' at?"
"You want a seat?"
"Don't get too close to the fire, dude!"
"Anybody know this cat?"
"Another dude, for the fireside!"
"Have a seat, dude!"
"Sit down and join the party!"
"Seville always throw a good gig."
"Seville Families watching over us..."
"Seville Boulevard throw the best parties, man."
+++[After swiping van CJ calls OG Loc]+++
CJ: "LOC! Where do you want these sounds, The Grove?"
OG Loc: "No way, we gotta strip them out the van first!"
CJ: "Well what do you suggest?"
Boss: "Jeffrey! You ain't here to chat on the phone! Look at the state of
these urinals!"
OG Loc: "Man, hold on CJ, I'll call you back."
CJ "Loc? LOC! DAMN!"
+++[OG Loc hangs up phone but calls back later]+++
CJ: "Loc, man, don't be playin' with me!"
OG Loc: "Cool it, CJ, cool it."
CJ: "Half of Los Santos looking for this damn van."
OG Loc: "OK, OK. Drop it off at LB's garage and commerce."
CJ: "THANK, YOU!"
OG Loc: "Don't mention it, All y'all stressin' it. When you're over sixty,
You gotta - click."
+++[CJ hangs up phone]+++
CJ: "Ah shut up. Motherfucker."
+++[CJ drives van to garage]+++
##########[End of mission]##########
/=========================================================================\
0===========================================================================0
| II.7. "Doberman" (Sweet Johnson) |
0===========================================================================0
\=========================================================================/
This was originally supposed to be a mission for C.R.A.S.H. in which you were
to keep the DEA from busting someone who was working for Tenpenny. This
alternate intro sets things up:
##########[Mission intro]##########
+++[Tenpenny is talking on phone. He also motions to CJ]+++
Tenpenny: "CARL! GET OVER HERE!"
+++[Tenpenny continues to talk on phone]+++
Tenpenny: "Now you listen to me, you sanctimonious piece of shit, Poncho is
my man and the DEA don't touch my asset, that's just the fucking
law!"
+++[Slight pause]+++
Tenpenny: "Oh, I don't give a holy fuck about some targets, Go frame some
other rock slinger."
+++[Slight pause]+++
Tenpenny: "Crack my ass, you lying piece of shit! Listen to me! You leave him
on the streets, got me?"
+++[Slight pause then he gets hung up on]+++
Tenpenny: "CARVER, YOU PIECE OF RAT SHIT! BITCH!"
+++[Tenpenny throws phone. Hernandez snickers.]+++
CJ: "Having a bad day, Officer Tenpenny?"
Tenpenny: "Hey, don't even think that that approaches humor, Johnson. And
Hernandez; don't ever laugh at me again. Get over there and get my
fucking phone. Move it!"
+++[Tenpenny motions to Hernandez then approaches CJ]+++
Tenpenny: "Carver pulls in Poncho and he's gonna fold."
Pulaski: "Well it's a good thing we got our Doberman here to deal with it."
Tenpenny: "You listening Carl?"
CJ: "No, didn't hear nothing."
Tenpenny: "Hey, don't yank my dick, Carl. You get over there and freeze that
bust in East Los Santos. And Poncho doesn't make it into custody -
you get me?"
CJ: "Yeah, whatever, man."
Tenpenny: "Get your ass outta here! There should be some weed being bagged as
evidence - think of it as a little opportunity we threw your way."
##########[End of intro]##########
/=========================================================================\
0===========================================================================0
| II.8. "Farewell, My Love..." (Cesar Vialpando) |
0===========================================================================0
\=========================================================================/
These are some lines spoken by Catalina during the race that were eventually
dropped. I'm guessing that she was to call you on occasion during the race to
taunt you. These lines also reinforce the fact that the GTA3 Guy's name is
Claude:
Catalina's Lines
****************
"Oh, Claude, you're so big and manful!"
"Claude, you're the best driver I've ever bedded!"
"Hands on the wheel, Claude, hands on the wheel!"
"Oh Claude, it's bigger than the gear stick!"
"I have never felt so satisfied! Five orgasms in as many minutes!"
"Marry me, Claude, marry me!"
"Oh Claude, I don't know if I'm woman enough!"
"Hey, Carl, you drive like a drunken camel!"
"Carl, are you jealous, heh?"
"Claude has such girth, he is AMAZING!"
"Claude would make you feel inadequate!"
"At last I have found a man to satisfy me!"
"Claude is so manful, so FORCEFUL!"
"I never knew there was so much MORE to sex!"
/=========================================================================\
0===========================================================================0
| II.9. A Tank Mission For Zero |
0===========================================================================0
\=========================================================================/
This group of text was very difficult to sort through. In this mission
Berkley was supposed to have died (an idea that was later dropped) and you
would think that Zero would be happy (he is not). But, as it turns out,
Berkely is alive after all and decides to even things up using toy, errr,
miniature tanks. Natually you were to defend yourself and Zero with a tank of
your own:
##########[Mission intro]##########
CJ: "What's wrong with you now?"
Zero: "I've learned an important lesson."
CJ: "What?"
Zero: "That it's fun to have an enemy. That with Berkley dead my life is also
over."
CJ: "What do you mean?"
Zero: "It is perfectly natural, Carl. We're fighting machines, Carl, as much
as this tank, or that chopper. And with no one to fight, we're
nothing. I am just facing up to the void. Don't mind me, Carl. I am
having an existential crisis. You carry on painting graffiti and
wearing your gold chains. All I want is a little peace."
CJ: "I got the cops on my case, a big fat prick who betrayed me and you're
having such a crisis? Man, I'll give you 'exi-mental', you damn square.
What's that noise?"
Zero: "Sounds like a model 7, a 5:1 ratio, equipped with cannon."
CJ: "No, it doesn't. No it doesn't... It sounds like a whole army of them!"
Zero: "Oh dear God - Berkley is alive?"
?: "Whoa, dude, a tiny war machine!"
?: "Hey, is that, like for real?"
?: "Oh man, ain't it cute!"
+++[Gets shot at (?)+++
?: "Holy Gaia! It's a bad trip Satan toy!"
?: "Mother of God! It's blasting!"
?: "Fucking shit! It's packing!"
?: "Hey, a cute toy tank!"
?: "Make love toys, not war toys!"
?: "Oh man, I've always wanted one of these!"
?: "One serious fucking toy!"
?: "That toy's got real attitude problems!"
?: "It's a tiny soviet invasion!"
Zero: "It must have been a patrol we heard. If Berkley's still alive, he'll
be servicing his transmitters! We've got to go stop him!"
CJ: "How?"
Zero: "You're the gangster, you tell me! Carl, where are you going? What are
you doing, Carl? That's Berkley over there!"
CJ: "Right, I'm going to go beat on that fool!"
Zero: "Wait! Berkley is a master tactician, a cautious general!"
CJ: "Meaning?"
Zero: "Meaning it's a trap! Deploy the tank! Use the tank to take out those
buggies!"
CJ: "What's the problem, they're only little cars?"
Zero: "Trust me, stop them at all costs!"
+++[Gets shot at (?)]+++
CJ: "Holy fuck!"
Zero: "See, Berkley isn't a kid and these things aren't toys! Ohmygod! Stop
those buggies, Carl!"
##########[End of intro]##########
Character Lines
***************
CJ: "Man, you guys play hard!"
Zero: "I told you, Carl, this is war, just on a tiny scale!"
CJ: "I've got a LOT of work to do!"
Zero's Lines
************
"Shit, Carl, what are you doing?"
"We going to die, I know it!"
"Curse you, Berkley, Curse you!"
"Ow, that really hurt!"
"We can't take much more!"
"One more hit and Berkley's won!"
/=========================================================================\
0===========================================================================0
| II.10. "Photo Opportunity" (Loco Syndicate) |
0===========================================================================0
\=========================================================================/
This was another group of text that was difficult to sort through. Originally
you were supposed to jack a chopper and fly to Cesar and then fly to the meet
to take the pictures you needed from the chopper. This idea was probably
dropped when it was decided to give Cesar a fear of heights (as noted in the
mission "Customs Fast Track" (Cesar Vialpando)). There is also some alternate
text near the end of this section:
##########[Mission intro]##########
+++[CJ picks up phone call]+++
CJ: "You got it."
Cesar: "Hey, my cousin just called me. He gave me a tip about a Balla car
going San Fierro to score yay."
CJ: "Shit, we gotta find out who's supplyin' those cats."
Cesar: "Read your mind, holmes, I picked them up at the Mulholland
Intersection and I'm trailing them now."
CJ: "OK, I'm coming to meet you."
Cesar: "Better make it fast, holmes, these boys aren't hanging around!"
CJ: "I've got an idea - I'll be there in a minute."
##########[End of intro]##########
+++[CJ goes up to helicopter]+++
Pilot: "Hey, who are you?"
CJ: "Uh, a Helmet Inspection Officer. Eh, you see that shit? Look over
there!"
Pilot: "Where?"
CJ: "There!"
+++[Hits Pilot]+++
Pilot: "Ow! Ooomph!"
CJ: "Eh, Cesar, I'm coming at you, where you at?"
Cesar: "Sitting by the damn road just South of Blueberry! They spotted me and
shot out my ride!"
CJ: "Alright, hold up, I'll be there in a minute! OK, sucker, the game's up!"
Pilot: "I hope that's a gun at the back of my head, and not something else."
CJ: "No, I'm just fucking pleased to see you! Land this thing!"
+++[Pilot lands chopper]+++
CJ: "Enjoy the walk, asshole!"
+++[Throws Pilot out]+++
Cesar: "Wow! Holmes! I didn't know you could fly!"
CJ: "I can't. I'm learning, get in."
Cesar: "There's somebody sleeping back here, eh."
CJ: "Yeah. Leave him, he should be OK. Where we goin'?"
Cesar: "They were headed over Angel Pine way. Follow the road and maybe we
can pick them up! Holmes, this dude's waking up!"
?: "I've been awake for ages, land this thing!"
Cesar: "Dude, he's got a gun, we better land..."
+++[CJ lands chopper]+++
?: "Screw you guys! Shit, I'm outta here!"
+++[Passenger runs. CJ flys back up]+++
Cesar: "There it is, holmes!"
CJ: "Here, I brought a camera."
Cesar: "I dunno, ese, it looks complicated..."
CJ: "Take the stick then, I'll take the photos!"
Cesar: "CJ! Oh shit, this is even more complicated!"
CJ: "Just keep her steady and don't crash! Quite a mix meetin' down there.
These guys look organized."
Cesar: "Cholos from up in the bay - from San Fierro, I think."
CJ: "They packing serious heat; Mac's, Uzi's, rifles - these fools
connected."
Cesar: "Check the big guy, holmes. That's T-Bone Mendez. He did time for
running black tar out of Mexico. Killed two guys inside, real bad
blood with my eses."
CJ: "Shit, Ryder - damned sherm-head fool! Oh man, it's true, Ballas rule the
Families!"
Cesar: "T-Bone's up to something... Check out the clown!
CJ: "Ha ha! That's real pimp shit right there. What's his role in this, he
ain't copping? A case full of yay each..."
Cesar: "Holmes, check the gringo."
CJ: "Oh yeah, he's keeping real quiet. Could be just a driver, I don't like
the look of him though."
Cesar: "I think he on to us. We're not exactly inconspicuous, eh. Hurry it
up, holmes!"
CJ: "SHIT he's onto us alright! And we're sitting ducks!"
+++[Helicopter gets shot at]+++
Cesar: "Oh Pope crap! I'm gonna try and land this thing before it blows!"
+++[Cesar lands helicopter]+++
CJ: "They'll all be long gone by now."
Cesar: "We better split up and get outta here. I'll meet you back at the
garage!"
##########[End of mission]##########
*****[Additional text]******
Cesar: "That's our Ballas car alright. Who's that in the back?"
CJ: "Ryder, you sherm-head! What's he rolling with Ballas for?"
Ceasr: "This business is bigger than any gang, ese. Someone's coming out of
the diner's back door!"
CJ: "Who's this guy, Aztecas? Vagos?"
Cesar: "Neither, holmes, he's San Fierro Rifa! Ryder's getting out of the
car!
CJ: "Ryder, little bitch! That must be the cash..."
/=========================================================================\
0===========================================================================0
| II.11. "Monster" (?) |
0===========================================================================0
\=========================================================================/
There was supposed to be additional material in the intro to this mission. I
have included the current intro along with the additional material:
##########[Mission intro]##########
Voice: "Carl, darling, welcome."
CJ: "Some fucking welcome, man. What you know about my family?"
Voice: "Now first we need to see what you're made of."
CJ: "What do I look like I'm made of? Pudding?"
Voice: "No - anger, and hate. And that's what I like about you. There's a
truck in the garage. Whaddya say we take it for a spin."
+++[CJ walks into garage]+++
Voice: "Alright, Carl, let's see a little of that initiative!"
CJ: "What the- you in here too?"
Voice: "Doesn't matter where I am, just that I've been watching you for a
while."
CJ: "You a stalker or some shit?"
Voice: "Oooh, when the mood hits me. Now let's just pay attention to the job
at hand, shall we?"
CJ: "Why? Why am I doing this?"
Voice: "Because I can help you and your brother."
CJ: "What? Why? How you know about my brother?"
Voice: "'Hu-hu-how do you know my brother?' You're beginning to sound like a
broken record, Carl. Look, I'm gonna leave you in peace to just get
the job done the best you can and if you make the grade, maybe, just
maybe,"
CJ: "How can I help you? Hello? Hey, asshole!.... Shit...."
##########[End of intro]##########
/=========================================================================\
0===========================================================================0
| II.12. "Learning To Fly" (Verdant Meadows Flight School) |
0===========================================================================0
\=========================================================================/
This is an alternate intro, for when you activated the Flight School, that
was dropped:
##########[Mission intro]##########
Toreno: "Carl..."
CJ: "Hell! What do you want?"
Toreno: "Relax. Listen. Can you fly a plane?"
CJ: "No. Next question."
Toreno: "Will you let me teach you?"
CJ: "No. I make it a rule not to defy gravity with compulsive liars."
Toreno: "Carl. You scared of flying?"
CJ: "No. I'm scared of you. You're a fucking lunatic."
Toreno: "Have you heard the bullshit that comes out your mouth? Come on. Be a
man, Carl, Your country needs you. Get in the fucking plane."
##########[End of intro]##########
/=========================================================================\
0===========================================================================0
| II.13. Rescuing The Truth |
0===========================================================================0
\=========================================================================/
There was supposed to be another mission for The Truth in which you had to
rescue him from government agents. There are some lines that I couldn't
figure out so I put them under ?????:
##########[Mission intro]##########
+++[CJ gets phone call]+++
CJ: "Yo."
The Truth: "CJ. I've nosed too deep this time!"
CJ: "I've told you about that stuff, Truthman! Lay off the 'caine, dude!"
The Truth: "No. I didn't mean that! The grey government want me out of the
way!"
CJ: "Yo, speak up."
The Truth: "I'm in Bayside, Whole town is crawling with dudes in black suits.
I need your help, CJ! I've done some mushrooms, but it hasn't
calmed me down at all. CJ! They're after me!"
CJ: "Yo, calm down, I'm on my way."
##########[End of intro]##########
?????
*****
"Yo, we gotta rescue The Truth. Get back in!"
"There's been a change of plan. Get back in!"
In-Game text
************
"Federal agents are chasing The Truth for wandering around Area 51!"
"Escort The Truth taking out anyone trying to kill him."
"Escort The Truth's car to safety"
"The Truth died!"
"The Truth's car was destroyed how is he gonna get away now?"
(According to SecretSauna this mission was supposed to be called "The Truth
Is Out There" and you would have been able to use the FBI Truck (which was
dropped from development)).
/=========================================================================\
0===========================================================================0
| II.14. "Don Peyote" (The Four Dragons Casino) |
0===========================================================================0
\=========================================================================/
Most players are familiar with the vomiting sequence involving Paul while you
are driving Maccer and Paul to the Snake Farm. There was another sequence
involving Maccer that was also implemented but doesn't happen very often.
However, they only use about half the lines presented below:
##########[Beginning of sequence]##########
Maccer: "Hey, man, I really need to piss!"
Paul: "Oh fuck, we're screwed!"
CJ: "Hey, can't it wait?"
Maccer: "I'm about to burst man!"
Paul: "You've gotta pull over, he's got a condition - he's priapic. It'll go
everywhere!"
Maccer: "I can't hold it any longer!"
+++[Starts urinating]+++
Maccer: "Oh, fuck! It's in me eye!"
CJ: "Hey, c'mon, man!"
Paul: "Argh! Stop it! Point it out the fucking window, will you?"
Maccer: "Oh fuck me, that is so gooood. Oh, fuck- now I've got the shakes."
##########[End of sequence]##########
Now for a little explaination. Paul mentions the word "priapic". To be
priapic is to suffer from a condition called priapism. This condition causes
the male to have an erection that lasts for a very long time (like in hours).
Now you're probably thinking "that's not a bad thing". Yes, it is a bad
thing. This condition is, surprisingly, very painful and if the blood that
makes the erection is not allowed to return to the rest of the body it will
stagnate and make matters worse. Medical attention is essential. In severe
cases surgery may be required to relieve the situation and in extreme cases
the penis may need to be removed. Not a good thing.
This condition is caused by a variety of sources but mostly it is the
ingestion of certain drugs (there is a reason for the four hour warnings in
those Cialis commercials folks).
However, Maccer may not actually be priapic. Because of Maccers fetish for
big breasts, and his constant masturbation because of it, it would seem that
he always has an erection hence Paul's use of the word here. And, because
this word probably needs to be explained, as it is being done here, this may
explain why this sequence was dropped. Few people would get it.
Ok, you can uncross your legs now.....
(Thanks to Emily Carroll for pointing out that this sequence does indeed
happen in the game.)
/=========================================================================\
0===========================================================================0
| II.15. "Key To Her Heart" (The Heist) |
0===========================================================================0
\=========================================================================/
For this mission you were supposed to "torture" Minnie with the Double-Ended
Dildo in order to get the Keycard and an Entry Code. There was a Spankometer
that you had to max out before she would break and give you the info you
needed to complete the mission. The ###### represent the group of numbers she
would give for the Entry Code:
##########[Beginning of sequence]##########
Minnie: "The door's open, Master! Come on in, I'm ready for you!"
CJ: "You've been a naughty girl!"
Minnie: "Oh I know! I know!"
CJ: "Hey baby, I'm a need that security card and entry code for Caligula's."
Minnie: "Oh Benny, you minx! I'll never tell, you wicked man, never, NEVER!"
CJ: "Where's the keycard? Confess!"
Minnie: "You'll never break me!"
+++[Spanks Minnie with Double-Ended Dildo]+++
Minnie: "Enough, master! The card's in my car outside!"
CJ: "And now, gimme the code! Spit it out, filthy worm! Hey, if you good,
I'll punish you more."
Minnie: "I can take it! Do your worst!"
+++[Spanks Minnie again with Double-Ended Dildo]+++
Minnie: "No more! You've broken me!"
CJ: "Gimme the code, you worthless trash!"
Minnie: "God, you're good at this! I know you're not Benny! Give me your
number I have to see you again."
CJ: "ENTRY CODE NOW!"
Minnie: "Oh! It's...######. I'll call you, master, I promise!"
##########[End of sequence]##########
In-Game Text
************
"You failed to excite her."
"Press (Circle) to swing the dildo."
"You need to get her to give you the keycard."
"You need to get her to give you the code."
/=========================================================================\
0===========================================================================0
| II.16. "Cop Wheels" (The Heist) |
0===========================================================================0
\=========================================================================/
These are some lines used during the mission that were dropped. When you
stole a bike the cops would call back in to Dispatch. In addition there were
several lines for the Dispatch when they put out a APB on you:
Cop: "Come in control; I've just been dealing with a drunk at the pizza
parlor near Linden Station and some punk just stole my bike!"
Cop: "Larry, some prick's trying your bike for size! Get him!"
Cop: "I'm at the hospital and, well, some joker's stolen my bike!"
Dispatch: "All units, this is an APB for a serial patrol bike thief."
DispatchA: "Suspect is black male, about six feet tall, and light build,"
DispatchB: "Suspect is black male, about six feet tall, and medium build,"
DispatchC: "Suspect is black male, about six feet tall, and heavy build,"
DispatchD: "Oh, and a stupid haircut!"
/=========================================================================\
0===========================================================================0
| II.17. "Fish In A Barrel" (The Four Dragons Casino) |
0===========================================================================0
\=========================================================================/
This was originally supposed to be an actual mission instead of just a
cutscene. You were supposed to protect Ran Fa Li when he arrived at the
airport and escort him to The Four Dragons Casino. As you would expect the
Mafia attempts an ambush and you have to keep Ran Fa Li from getting killed.
After you arrive at the casino you go into the cutscene of them signing the
document:
##########[Mission intro]##########
Wu Zi Mu: "So what's the score, Carl, when can we make a move on this heist?"
CJ: "I dunno, dude. This Rosenberg guy and these two idiots, man. I kinda
feel responsible for them."
Wu Zi Mu: "Why?"
CJ: "You know me, dude, another mafia leader, a pusher, no problemo. I mean
I'll ice them. But these guys, they're like kids."
Wu Zi Mu: "Oh, come on. You're losing that killer instinct, Carl. You better
get a move on, Ran Fa Li's flight gets in any minute!"
CJ: "Damn, you're right!"
Wu Zi Mu: "Be careful. This is the first time a Tong representative has ever
been to Las Venturas!"
CJ: "Yeah, I've got a bad feeling about this."
Wu Zi Mu: "Which is why you're going to be watching over the proceedings
with... where did I put it? Aha! With this!"
+++[Gives CJ a golf club]+++
CJ: "Yo I'm cool with whacking a Mafia Leader with a nine-iron, but I'd
rather use a weapon of my own choice."
Wu Zi Mu: "Ah. Well take this anyway. You never know, it may come in
handy..."
(This would also explain the "or have you gone soft on me again?" line Woozie
mentions during the phone call after "Saint Mark's Bistro" (Caligula's
Palace)).
##########[End of intro]##########
Character Lines
***************
"Shit its the Mafia!"
"Watch it Driver!"
"How is the rear car doing?"
"It's doing ok!"
"Oh shit its an ambush!"
"Get out of here!"
"I can't they have blocked both exits with line runners"
"Shit! Do something!"
"Carl you get up top and keep the VIP safe protect the limo, me and the rest
of the bodyguards will protect you from the side."
In-Game Text
************
"Step on it follow the front car!"
"Follow the lead car down the alley!"
"Take the VIP back to the Triad Casino."
##########[Upon arrival at the Four Dragons Casino]##########
Wu Zi Mu: "Mr. Ran Fa Li."
Ran Fa Li: (Grunt)
Wu Zi Mu: "Carl, what took you guys so long?"
CJ: "Heh heh. We ran into a little welcoming committee. The Leone family has
made their move. We can handle those bastards now we're up and running."
Wu Zi Mu: "Gentlemen, can I have your marks please?"
+++[Ran Fa Li and CJ sign document]+++
Wu Zi Mu: "Gentlemen, or shall I say, partners!"
CJ: "Oh, I'll drink to that!"
Ran Fa Li: (Grunt)
##########[End of mission]##########
/=========================================================================\
0===========================================================================0
| II.18. "Breaking The Bank At Caligula's" (The Heist) |
0===========================================================================0
\=========================================================================/
This is some alternate text of exchanges between Zero and CJ during the heist
of Caligula's Palace:
##########[Beginning of sequence - during the heist]##########
Zero: "Someone else is in the system!"
CJ: "Hey what's the problem?"
Zero: "Somebody's trying to bring the emergency generators back up!"
CJ: "I'll head back up to the generator room and shut them down for good!"
Zero: "Wait a second, it's Berkley! It's him, I know it!"
CJ: "What?"
Zero: "Carl, I know the tactics of my arch rival! BERKLEY YOU BASTARD!"
CJ: "Quit shouting in my ear!"
Zero: "Sorry. So Berkley thinks he can out-hack the master, eh? I'm gonna use
his own hydra and bounce it right back down his pipe!"
CJ: "Aw, whatever, man, just deal with that fool! OK - I'll head back up to
the generator room and shut them down for good!"
Zero: "Ha, Berkley! How do you like a taste of your own hexadecimal!"
CJ: "You got him?"
Zero: "Carl, this is a battle between two coding behemoths. Like two giant
nuclear monsters trampling a city underfoot, we struggle for dominion
over the tiny, puny earth."
CJ: "How on Earth did Berkley know you were going to be doing any of this?"
Zero: "Well, I s-, um...No comment."
CJ: "Holla at me, Zero."
Zero: "NO COMMENT!"
+++[Later - at the van prior to leaving the Casino]+++
Zero: "I've unloaded the police bikes."
Wu Zi Mu: "Everybody in! You two, change into your police uniforms!"
CJ: "Hey, Zero, what about Berkley?"
Zero: "Oh, don't worry about Berkley, he has been made to bleed from his I/O
port."
Wu Zi Mu: "See you at the meet, Carl!"
##########[End of sequence - CJ leaves to finish mission]##########
/=========================================================================\
0===========================================================================0
| II.19. "Beat Down On B Dup" (Sweet Johnson) |
0===========================================================================0
\=========================================================================/
Here you were to have rescued Big Bear prior to dealing with B-Dup. This
section of text was to give Big Bear an expanded role that would carry over
to the next section of this document. The last couple of lines I believe are
supposed to be a phone call that would set up the actual mission itself:
##########[Beginning of sequence]##########
Sweet: "CJ, you take care of Bear, OK?"
CJ: "Yeah, for sure. C'mon Bear, time for a little detox!"
Big Bear: "Oh man, do I have to?"
CJ: "Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately?"
Big Bear: "Most successful diet I ever been on!"
CJ: "How'd B Dup get his claws into you, Bear?"
Big Bear: "Man, Grove Street Families used to be tight, man. Then Li'l Brian
caught it, you ran off. I don't mean to dis you, man, but you
did."
CJ: "I know, but I'm back now."
Big Bear: "True, homie, that's real speed. Anyways man, Sweet, he just became
a hard man to deal with, you know? Then we got bad blood with
Seville Boulevard Families and they split from the Grove. Then
Temple, hell, they went loneranger too Sweet, man, he did
absolutely nothing. Next thing I knew B Dup's, he's making money,
Grove Street, they set tripping. Streets ain't no place to be when
every fool is trying to make a move. So I tried my first blast -
see what the fuss is all about, right? Now look at me, a
rockstar..."
CJ: "Ain't nothing to be proud of, man. We gonna put all this behind us,
Bear. Grove is coming back and the OG posse is on the bounce!"
+++[CJ and Big Bear arrive at detox]+++
CJ: "Go on in, Bear, you know we're here for you, a'ight?"
Big Bear: "For life, CJ."
+++[CJ calls Sweet (?)]+++
CJ: "That bitch B Dup got a shit load of pain comin' his way."
Sweet: "Let's head over to his crib, see what that fool's been up to."
##########[End of sequence]##########
/=========================================================================\
0===========================================================================0
| II.20. Looking For Big Smoke |
0===========================================================================0
\=========================================================================/
After everything gets locked down during the riot it is now time to look for
Big Smoke. Here you were supposed to go after a Russian that had info on Big
Smoke and then take over all of the Vagos territory:
##########[Mission intro]##########
CJ: "What's popping?"
Sweet: "Ain't nothin'. Hey Bear."
Big Bear: "Whattup, homie!"
Sweet: "Everything is locked down and cool here. How is the Varrio?"
CJ: "Yo, it's all cool down there."
Sweet: "Yo, I want TENPENNY. It's time."
CJ: "Man, that lowlife motherfucker could be anywhere. Look what he's done to
all of us, man. Only Smoke would know where he's at."
Sweet: "Where's Smoke?"
Big Bear: "You heard what B Dup said. Smoke ain't on the streets no more.
Stays in his den, don't go to no one."
Sweet: "But he's still pushing?"
Big Bear: "Yeah, but only to a select circle of cats. Yo, even B Dup got cut
off. Wait, there is a Russian cat. Just stays in his spot on the
other side of town. I think he copped off Smoke."
CJ: "A'ight. I'm gonna go speak with this Russian cat, see if he can lead me
to that fat fuck Smoke."
##########[End of intro. CJ drives to the Russian.]##########
CJ: "Where's Smoke?"
Russian: "Smoke? You know the rules, comrade, I can't tell you where he is!"
CJ: "Yeah, I know the rules; I hit you until you start talking or you stop
bleeding!"
+++[CJ starts hitting Russian]+++
Russian: "Oh man! Hell, he's holed up in an old apartment block over Los
Flores way. It's easy enough to spot - they got the whole block
under control. No one gets in or out without Smoke's say so! Holy
fuck! I'm gonna make sure Smoke knows you're coming, you dumb
bastard!"
In-Game Text
************
"Go to the Market area of town and take over all of the Los Santos Vagos
territory."
"Attack the Los Santos Vagos gang members and take over the territory."
"The enemy gang have retaken the territory, go and take it over."
/==XX====XX====XX====XX====XX====0##***##0====XX====XX====XX====XX====XX==\
0===XX====XX====XX====XX====XX====0##***##0====XX====XX====XX====XX====XX===0
| III. Credits |
0===XX====XX====XX====XX====XX====0##***##0====XX====XX====XX====XX====XX===0
\==XX====XX====XX====XX====XX====0##***##0====XX====XX====XX====XX====XX==/
Credits and thanks go out to the following:
>>Rockstar Games
**************
For creating one of the best games ever made (again).
>>GameFAQs, IGN, CheatCC, Cheats.de, GamerHelper, GamersTemple, SuperCheats,
TheGenie, and many other guides sites
**************************************************************************
For providing a place for writers like myself to publish our work and
help other gamers while indulging in one of our favorite pastimes.
>>Apple Computers and Bare Bones Software
***************************************
For making, IMHO, the best computers (especially my Mac Mini) and for
making the best text programs (BBEdit Lite and TextWrangler) for the
Macintosh.
>>Sony and MicroSoft
******************
For putting out two very good consoles: the PlayStation 2 and the Xbox.
And finally, my biggest thanks of all goes to you the reader (and especially
those who have made suggestions that made it into the guide as well as those
who took the time to say nice things about this document).
/==XX====XX====XX====XX====XX====0##***##0====XX====XX====XX====XX====XX==\
0===XX====XX====XX====XX====XX====0##***##0====XX====XX====XX====XX====XX===0
| IV. Conclusion |
0===XX====XX====XX====XX====XX====0##***##0====XX====XX====XX====XX====XX===0
\==XX====XX====XX====XX====XX====0##***##0====XX====XX====XX====XX====XX==/
So now I've come to the end of yet another gaming adventure and looking
forward to new ones. I hope that my guide helps you in getting the most out
of "Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas".
Remember, if you have any comments and suggestions, you can contact me at
rarusk[gnat]netzero[snot]com. Enjoy!
*****************************************************************************
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