Game Script by angeldeb82
Um Jammer Lammy on SuperCheats.com
*******************************************************************************
*                     EXCLUSIVE SCRIPT FOR UM JAMMER LAMMY                    *
*                               (Version 1.32)                                *
*                                                                             *
*                           Author: Deborah L. Kearns                         *
*                        E-mail: angeldeb82@hotmail.com                       *
*******************************************************************************

Copyright (c) 2009-2010 by Deborah L. Kearns

Um Jammer Lammy is a trademark of Sony Computer Entertainment and NanaOn-Sha.
Um Jammer Lammy: Copyright (c) 1999 by Sony Computer Entertainment.

===DISCLAIMER===

This scripted document is intended ONLY for private home use and may not be
reproduced through electronic or commercial means without the expressed consent
of the author (Deborah L. Kearns).  It cannot be hosted, edited, or distributed
for profit and may not be given away as an add-in/gift to bought items, and it
should not be claimed as your own.  All rights are reserved to respective
parties, even those not explicitly stated herein.  Thank you for reading this,
and thank you for respecting FAQ authors.

*WARNING: THIS SCRIPT CONTAINS SPOILERS AHEAD FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVEN'T PLAYED THE
GAME OR BEATEN IT, SO READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!  THE SCRIPT WILL BE MORE ENJOYABLE
TO BE READ IF YOU HAVE FINISHED THE GAME AT LEAST ONCE!  YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!*


TABLE OF CONTENTS

1. Introduction
2. Cast of Characters
3. Script
   3.1. LAMMY'S STORY
        3.1a. Pre-Game Intro
        3.1b. Stage 1: Now Wait a Minute!  Who Is That!?
              i. Intro
             ii. Song: I Am a Master, and You
            iii. Outro
        3.1c. Stage 2: B, Back Off!  You're in the Way!
              i. Intro
             ii. Song: Fire Fire
        3.1d. Stage 3: After School Sale
              i. Intro
             ii. Song: Baby Baby
        3.1e. Stage 4: Now Which One Is My Left Hand?
              i. Intro
             ii. Song: Fright Flight
        3.1f. Stage 5: You Said Anything, Didn't Ya?
              i. Intro
             ii. Song: Power Off, Power On!
        3.1g. Stage 6: Vital Idol
              i. Intro A
             ii. Intro B
            iii. Song: Taste of Teriyaki
        3.1h. Stage 7: MILKCAN, That's Us!
              i. Intro A
             ii. Intro B
            iii. Song: Got to Move
        3.1i. Credits
   3.2. SIDE QUEST: PARAPPA THE RAPPER
        3.2a. Stage 1: On Monday
              i. Intro
             ii. Song: Fire Fire (Parappa)
        3.2b. Stage 2: On Tuesday
              i. Intro
             ii. Song: Baby Baby (Parappa)
        3.2c. Stage 3: On Wednesday
              i. Intro
             ii. Song: Fright Flight (Parappa)
        3.2d. Stage 4: Intermission
              i. Intro
             ii. Song: Power Off, Power On! (Parappa)
        3.2e. Stage 5: On Thursday
              i. Intro
             ii. Song: Taste of Teriyaki (Parappa)
        3.2f. Stage 6: On Friday
              i. Intro
             ii. Song: Got to Move (Parappa)
            iii. Outro
    3.3 MISCELLANY
        3.3a. Other Song Lyrics
        3.3b. Cool Mode and Game Over Scripts
              i. Stage 1
             ii. Stage 2
            iii. Stage 3
             iv. Stage 4
              v. Stage 5
             vi. Stage 6
            vii. Stage 7
        3.3c. Lammy/Parappa Hybrids of Stage Songs
              i. Lammy and Parappa Stage 1: Fire Fire
             ii. Lammy and Parappa Stage 2: Baby Baby
            iii. Lammy and Parappa Stage 3: Fright Flight
             iv. Lammy and Parappa Stage 4: Power Off, Power On!
              v. Lammy and Parappa Stage 5: Taste of Teriyaki
             vi. Lammy and Parappa Stage 6: Got to Move
4. Differences Between the U.S. and Japan/PAL Versions
5. Updates and Revisions
6. Thanks


# 1. Introduction #

Hello to those of you who are familiar with the game and yet wanted to know the
script for it.  As you may know, Um Jammer Lammy is a spin-off of the first
game, PaRappa the Rapper.  Both games are the brainchildren of Japanese game
developer NanaOn-Sha, and while PaRappa the Rapper was created in 1996, this
game was created three years later, and it had the same graphics style in the
same universe as its predecessor.  And yet this game had the same great
moderate success as the first PaRappa game.  In the early summer of 1999,
NanaOn-Sha and Sony Computer Entertainment wanted to release the game in the
U.S. to make it appeal to American audiences in late July.  There was, however,
a problem on the game's release.  A MAJOR problem.  

As the Entertainment Software Ratings Board was in its fifth year of creation 
by the Entertainment Software Association, the game needed approval for the 
"Everyone" rating in order to be released commercially to both kids and adults 
in the States.  Apparently, Sony Computer Entertainment of America had still 
adopted Nintendo of America's Video Game Content Guidelines, because, while the
game depicted religious content and implied deforestation (which could be seen 
as an attack on Mother Nature) in Japan, SCEA would not allow games with such 
content that would be too intense for an "Everyone" rating to merit commercial 
release.  (While Japan's Computer Entertainment Rating Organization was not 
established for three years, the ESRB did not have the "Everyone 10+" rating 
until six years later.)  The sources for such content were Stages 5 and 6, 
where it would have been qualifiable for a "Teen" rating or an "E10+" rating 
(which, as I said, hadn't been established yet).  Stage 5 has a song that
strongly implied deforestation and illegal logging, which may have contained
"Violent References" that were probably damaging to Mother Nature.  Stage 6...
well... let's just say it was deemed too problematic for the "Everyone" rating,
because of the "Mild Animated Violence" and some "Suggestive Themes", i.e.,
"mild provocative references or materials", and that could be references to
religion or religious issues including hell, especially in the Stage 6 song.
To remedy the problematic Stages 5 and 6, SCEA and NanaOn-Sha rewrote the Stage
5 song lyrics in both Lammy's and Parappa's versions, in order to tone them 
down so they no longer implied "chopping down trees for fun".  For Stage 6,
they removed all references to "hell" and "the devil" in both the song and
Teriyaki Yoko's stage itself (the word "angel" is still kept intact, but not
the phrase "The angel's been mean to me", which has been changed a bit), and
rewrote the storyline so that it involves time-travel.  They also changed
Lammy's clothing and appearance in Stage 6 (and also the appearances of Katy
Kat and Ma-san in the intro to Stage 7) in order to fit the new island/jungle
storyline, and also rewrote the Stage 1 song in order to reflect said
storyline as well.  When that was done, the game developers and producers had
the voice-overs reprise their roles as Lammy (Sara Ramirez, famous actress of
"Grey's Anatomy"); Parappa (John Simpson III, a.k.a. Dred Foxx); Katy Kat 
(Michele Burks); Ma-san and Chop Chop Master Onion (Ryu Watabe); Paul Chuck 
(Everett Bradley); Teriyaki Yoko (Carla Cook); Jack Smash; and Rammy (Keva
Hargrove).

After all that hard work, the game made a final test run before it was finally
released to U.S. stores on August 17, 1999.  In late 1999, the game was sent to
Europe to try to undergo classification by the Entertainment and Leisure 
Software Publishers Association.  Surprisingly, since Europe's Pan European
Game Information wasn't established until April 2003, the game was given the
okay to be released as a PAL version in September 1999, with all the game's
contents left intact and uncensored from Japan's version.  And it is with my 
gratitude to the ordeals of the game of 10 years ago that I now write this 
script, which covers both versions of the game: the U.S. version, and the 
Japan/PAL version.  This means that I will be writing the first five stages as 
normal for any version, but for the last two stages I will divide the intro for
each stage into two: Intro A, which will be the original Japan and PAL 
versions; and Intro B, which will be the alternate U.S. version.  I will also 
explain why the storyline in the U.S. version is different from the one in the 
Japan/PAL version.  So without further ado, let's move on to the...


# 2. Cast of Characters #

Lammy: The main protagonist of the game, and lead guitarist of MILKCAN.  She is
a lamb who is extremely shy and jittery, especially when she's in front of
people.  However, once she gets a guitar, she becomes confident and ready to
take things on.  She also proves her unparalleled knowledge of music through
her guitar-playing skills and her ability to use this knowledge to get to
everyday situations.  She'll endure the pressures of everyday life as she makes
her attempt to get to her next concert on time, thus the trademark motto, 
"Leave it to Lammy!"  Lammy is voiced by Sara Ramirez (you know, the Mexican-
born actress later known mostly for her role as Dr. Callie Torres in "Grey's 
Anatomy"!  :D).

Katy Kat: Lead vocalist and bassist of MILKCAN.  She is usually on hand to try
to keep Lammy's spirits up whenever the latter is feeling down.  Katy is also a
good singer who has distinguished folk-style vocals and enjoys disco and
dancing.  Voiced by Michele Burks.

Ma-san: Drummer for MILKCAN.  Little is known about her life other than the
fact that her father, Papa-Ma, runs a Chinese pharmacy shop.  She is quite shy,
as usual, and when she does talk, though, it's more of a high-pitched, mumbled 
gibberish that is kind of worthy of Mumbles in "Dick Tracy", yet her mumbles 
can be translatable by keeping the game's subtitles on (and in English, of 
course).  However, she seems to have a dynamite stick in her head and a very 
short temper, so if you try to tick her off, her fuse will light up, and she 
will go into Shin-Ma-san mode and let her drumsticks do the talking (she once 
wrecked a whole museum trying to swat a fly and wrecked her laptop computer!  
:P)!  She is voiced by Ryu Watabe in high-speed dubbing mode which sounds like 
a gibberish chipmunk!  :P

Chop Chop Master Onion: The karate-teaching onion from "PaRappa the Rapper" is
back.  However, his dojo, Fruites Dojo, was destroyed yet remains in his mind, 
complete with a casino.  He appears to Lammy in her dreams to give her a 
valuable lesson: "Dojo, casino, it's all in the mind."  He even has the power 
to predict her entire future in the game while he teaches her guitar-playing!  
O_O  Like Ma-san, Chop Chop is also voiced by Watabe.

Chief Puddle: A fire chief who is known as a fire-fighting dalmatian, and who
enjoys his work, but not as much as pizza.  He is voiced by Richard Bush.

Cathy Piller: A caterpillar midwife who is in charge of helping mothers give
birth and looking after the babies that follow.  She also has a more gruff
voice than Lunchlady Doris from "The Simpsons", like Frieza from the U.S.
version of "DragonBall Z", and has a tendency to barf all over the place much 
to Lammy's dismay.  Cathy is voiced by Louise-Marie Mennier.

Needy Babies: Yes, these tiny little cuties need to be cared for and get their
diapers changed before getting tucked in bed.  It's surprising that one of them
speaks between normal kid-talk and baby-talk while trying to sing!  Weird, yet
cute!  ^_^  And I believe that one of these cuties is voiced by Kemba Francis.

Captain Fussenpepper: A senior citizen pilot who has a dual personality.  Often
he's a fierce pilot with strict discipline and a short temper, and a tendency
to call Lammy "Soldier", but when he bumps his head, which happens all the 
time, he becomes a looney version of Peter Pan who can't tell his right hand 
from his left, let alone know how to fly a plane.  He also wears false teeth.  
Oftentimes he is kind of a cross-breed between Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and the 
late Michael Jackson, the King of Pop who was called "Wacko Jacko" for his 
child-like behavior.  XD  Even this Captain Looney is so wacko, he'll make you 
laugh so hard, you might even forget to concentrate on your call-and-response 
playing skills!  :P  Once again, like Ma-san and Chop Chop, Fussenpepper is 
voiced by Watabe.

Paul Chuck: A woodchucking beaver who can make guitars out of trees.  Although
he looks menacing with an assertive voice, he can sometimes be quite gentle.
He also loves his chainsaws and would never ruin them with the chains of Joe
Chin.  Chuck has a likely attraction for something to do with the trees, which
may have something to do with deforestation... well, you'll see why later.
Chuck is voiced by Everett Bradley.

Teriyaki Yoko: An idol with a mysterious personality, residing at a concert in
a mysterious location, depending on what location you are playing the game in.
In one story she resides in the depths of hell; in another she resides in an
island volcano in the past, where she is even respected as a goddess.  Either 
way, she is a lead singer in her own band, and she sings as beautifully as a
British version of Britney Spears!  (Eat your heart out, Susan Boyle!  :D )  
While Teriyaki Yoko prides herself on beauty and talent, she has a mean streak 
and does not take kindly to failure from bandmates, which means that she can 
grow up to 100 times her size and ban people from every game, which is a 
terrible fate worse than... well, death, and you wouldn't want to cross her 
path now, would you?  What is strange is that her last name, Yoko, is a pun on 
John Lennon's widow Yoko Ono, in that Teriyaki Yoko has a New-Yorker accent 
when she speaks.  :P She is voiced by jazz musician Carla Cook.

Jack Smash: A Pumpkin Head guy with another mysterious personality.  In one
story he is an "Agent from Hell", as revealed in the game's fake end credits;
in another, he is Teriyaki Yoko's servant who lives in an island hut in a
volcano.  Either way, his name is an amalgram of the Rolling Stones' "Jumpin'
Jack Flash", jack-o-lantern, and the Smashing Pumpkins!  Weird!  :P

Rammy: A darker version of Lammy, although not quite as evil as we thought.
She is also Teriyaki Yoko's guitarist, and Lammy's rival, and you'll see why
her rivalry with Lammy starts to grow as you play this game, which will result
in a Vs. Mode, to say the least.  Rammy is voiced by Keva Hargrove.

PJ Berri: A lazy bear who has a big appetite for food, yet by night he takes
on the persona of "PJ the DJ" and livens up every party.  He's also in charge
of stage design, yet doesn't know anything about "rock and roll" and can't get
food out of his mind.  You'll see why he has something to do with religious
(and sometimes violent) issues in the game later.  He is voiced by Armstead
Christian, like in the first PaRappa the Rapper game.

Parappa the Rapper: Yes, you heard right: the hip-hop hero from the main title
of the game is back!  He is a talented, yet sometimes timid, rapper who likes
Sunny Funny better than rap.  He is also in charge of moving stuff around for
Lammy's concert, just like always; as his motto says, "I gotta believe!"  Like 
in the first PaRappa game, he is voiced by John Simpson III, a.k.a. Dred Foxx.

Other cast members:
Sunny Funny: Katy Kat's friend and Parappa's love interest who is always cheery
and rarely seen without a smile.  She's in charge of designing the outfits for
Katy's concert.

Joe Chin: The strongman from "PaRappa the Rapper" is back, but he's now a
businessman and has spread himself over a variety of products and services such
as casinos, chains, nature preservement and the "theft-proof laptop".  He
generally comes with the trademark slogan: "Buy it now!  And I mean NOW!" and
accepts checks or credit cards.  Once again, like Ma-san, Chop Chop and
Fussenpepper, Joe Chin is voiced by Watabe.

Prince Fleaswallow: A frog who ruled over the flea market and helped Parappa
earn the money to replace his father's car that he had wrecked in the first
PaRappa game.  Fleaswallow now owns the Maxi-Music music store, since he is at
the counter and serves no other purpose other than selling instruments like
wooden washboards for Parappa and PJ in "Um Jammer Lammy".

Panicked Lady Teddy Bear, a One-Eyed Green Monster and Jet Baby
Two Punks
Visions of Instructor Mooselini and Cheap Cheap the Cooking Chicken
Security Guy and Cameraman
Tamanegi Pupils of Fruites Dojo
Phone's Answering Machine
Crowds of People, Including a Reporter and a Panicked Radio Lady
Expectant Mothers and Fathers on Parade
Husband and Wife Couple
Flight Attendant
Paul Chuck's Forest Critters
Casino Singer
Backup Band Members and Singers in Teriyaki Yoko's Concert


# 3. Script #

Now before I get started on the script to Um Jammer Lammy and its dialogue, I
would like to point out the terminology that will be used in this guide:

EXT: External, Outside.  Example: EXT. Movie Theater.
INT: Internal, Inside.  Example: INT. Chunky Burger Restaruant.
V.O.: Voice Over.  Example: Phone (V.O.).
O.C.: Off Camera.  Example: Lammy (O.C.).
[(S.D.)]: Stage direction while the person speaks.  Example: Cathy: OK, 
everyone, [vomits as she continues] I'm proud of all of you.

In the Song Lyrics:

[(US)/(JAP/PAL)]: One song word/phrase in the U.S. version which is different 
from the other song word/phrase in Japan's and PAL's versions, which will be 
used quite a lot in Paul Chuck's and Teriyaki Yoko's stages.  Example: "So you 
can play in [an island/hell], you come far!" means that in the U.S. version 
it's "So you can play in an island, you come far!" while in the Japan/PAL 
version it's "So you can play in hell, you come far!"  More on that later.

I will also write each song to act as if I were playing it in Good Mode only, 
so if there are any mistakes in the script, I may try and correct them as best
as I can, okay?  Get it?  Got it?  Good.  Let's start with...


* 3.1. LAMMY'S STORY *

**********************
*3.1a. Pre-Game Intro*
**********************

Sony Computer Entertainment America/Europe Presents

NanaOn-Sha (TM)

EXT. CITY IN FLAMES -- NIGHT

Outside the city in flames, light beacons are on the search for a green one-
eyed monster which might have caused all this disaster, and is now walking
around beneath the flames avoiding cannon blasts, and turns its gaze toward
someone or something.

Lady Teddy Bear (panicky, calling out): Oh, where are you?  I need you right
now!

The monster starts reaching out its hands for her...

INT. MOVIE THEATER

An audience sits watching the movie of the same incident.  Katy Kat sits around
eating popcorn while a mysterious bear-woman jumps on the seat.  At their right
sits a little ewe lamb looking kind of either depressed or disturbed at the
scene.  She can't bear to watch as she covers her eyes.

EXT. CITY IN FLAMES -- NIGHT

The Lady Teddy Bear is panicked but hears something as she turns around and
sees something that looks like a missle come down and grab her in the nick of
time.  They fly off and upward into the sky.

Lady Teddy Bear (relieved): Jet Baby!

They both fly off and disappear as the sky turns a bright sky blue and the
words "The End" appear with Jet Baby swirling around at the end of it.

INT. MOVIE THEATER

The movie is finished as the lights turn on around the audience, who soon exits
the theater with Katy Kat, the lamb, and the mystery bear-woman.  

EXT. MOVIE THEATER -- DAY

Once the trio exit, Katy turns to the lamb, who is feeling queasy.

Katy: That sure was fun!  Part One was good too, but this one had more juice.

?????? (angry, in gibberish): (I couldn't see the screen!  The guy sitting in
front of me was too tall.)

????? (clutching her stomach): Um... Um... Um...

Katy (confused): What's wrong, Lammy?  You seem down.

Camera pulls upward to reveal the Chunky Burger Restaurant as they walk there
together.

Lammy (O.C.): Oh, I wish I was that strong...

Scene fades in to...

INT. CHUNKY BURGER RESTAURANT

Once seated at the table, Katy tries comforting a depressed Lammy while the
trio eat.

Katy: Lammy, you're already strong as is.  You should be more confident.
Nobody beats Lammy when she's on the guitar!

?????? (gibberish): (Normally she's a wimp though.)

Katy (angry): Ma-san!

Lammy: But that is the truth...

Katy (cheering her): Hey, don't forget.  We are MILKCAN.  With Ma-san's beats,
Lammy's guitar and my almighty bass combined with that distinguished voice,
there's nothing to be afraid of!

While Katy speaks, Ma-san is pictured near the drums, Lammy holding a guitar,
and Katy herself holding a bass guitar near a flowery field with trees and
ducks flying in the clouds as she extends her arm out.  Scene fades back to the
restaurant as she finishes speaking and Lammy is impressed.  Just then two
punks come in through the door, one wearing a yellow shirt with a "0", and
another wearing a green one.

Punk #1 (yellow-shirted): Scram!!

He slams the green-shirted punk who gets caught between the doors and somehow
gets through.

Punk #2 (raising his fists): Yeah!

Lammy, Katy and Ma-san are surprised, with Katy getting angry.

Punk #1: Well, well... what do we have here?  Plenty of munchies for everyone,
right?

He rubs his stomach.

Punk #2 (raising his fists again): Yeah!

Ma-san gets a bit angry and cluches her food.

Punk #1: Not only munchies but a little babe, all dressed up for us, ain't that
right?

Punk #2 (fists still raised): Right!

Lammy (getting timid): O, oh.. O, oh..

Katy: Lammy, here!

She tosses a guitar, which seems to fly up into outer space around the green
planet and back again before falling back down.  Lammy's hand reaches out and
grabs it, and she gets all powered up as she strikes a guitar chord pretty
hard.  A rainbow circle swirls all around her as she strums and rocks aloud,
distracting the punks, who get caught up in a rainbow.  She jumps on them and
a cloud of dust materializes as she fights them guitar on fists.  Then Katy
goes up to the dust cloud of fighting and holds up the microphone in her hand.

Katy: See?  The guitar rules again!

She walks away, and the cloud disappears, revealing a triumphant Lammy standing
atop the two knocked off punks.  She strums her guitar and jumps up in a pose
of victory.  Scene cuts to an explosion and flames appearing.  A close-up of a
skull with snakes in its eyes appears, and the snake trio hiss at the camera,
forming an "UM" before the skull pulls away from view.  Camera pulls down to
reveal the skull's teeth getting smashed to reveal the words "JAMMER LAMMY"
with a pendant/clock around the skull's neck, then upward to the snakes around
the word "UM".  A puff of smoke arises as what looks like Lammy jumps on the
skull before the crossbones appear behind it, revealing the game's main title,
while the trio of voices sing the main theme.  Lammy drops down and the game
starts with the words "NEW GAME" and "MENU" appearing.

Um Jammer Lammy (TM)

(c) 1999 Sony Computer Entertainment Inc.
(c) Rodney A. Greenblat/Interlink

**************************************************
*3.1b. Stage 1: Now Wait a Minute!  Who Is That!?*
**************************************************

~ i. Intro ~

INT. ??????

The screen is pitch-black before we hear the creaking of a black door being 
opened by the hands of Lammy as light is pouring in...

INT. STAGE HALLWAY

We hear Lammy gasping for breath as she runs through the long, green hallway of
a stage, then we see...

Lammy (running in panic): What should I tell them??  I had a stomachache so I
went to the bathroom...

She keeps running on, gasping for breath as she continues.

Lammy: ...but there was a long line at the gas station...

She keeps running.

Lammy: ...I told them [that] it was an emergency...

She runs as a vision of Instructor Mooselini, Cheap Cheap the Cooking Chicken,
Prince Fleaswallow and Chop Chop Master Onion from the previous game appears.

Lammy (O.C.): ...but they said:

Mooselini, Cheap Cheap, Fleaswallow and Chop Chop: "LET'S RAP FOR IT!!!". [sic]

Lammy (stops and shakes her head): ... Nahhh....

She runs toward the light through the door.

INT. MILKCAN CONCERT STAGE

An audience is cheering in the concert, while...

INT. BACKSTAGE ROOM

Lammy is still running through the hallway in the backstage entry, with the 
security guy and the cameraman at the door.

Lammy (O.C.): Good, I made it...

INT. MILKCAN CONCERT STAGE

Lammy trips on the floor and loses her guitar before getting up.

Lammy (confused): Hmmm, who's that?

She sees a shadowy figure standing near Katy and Ma-san as the curtain opens.

Katy: ...And here's our new vocalist, Chop Chop Master Onion!!!

The lights turn on to reveal Chop Chop himself, holding a microphone and
opening his eyes in close-up.

Lammy (gets up, confused): Now wait a minute!  Who is that?!

Katy (sees her): Lammy, here!

She tosses the guitar again, which goes through outer space again and orbits
around the earth before Lammy catches it as it falls down.  Once more she gains
her powers before she begins strumming, and the song "I Am a Master, and You"
begins.

~ ii. Song: I Am a Master, and You ~

Lammy, Katy, and Ma-san of MILKCAN and Chop Chop are performing in front of a
cheering audience.  Chop Chop focuses on his vocals with a "Hiyyyyyyatatatattt-
CHHHHHAAAAHHH!!!" and begins the song.

Chop Chop: Kick, punch, you all remember.
           Chop chop back again, yes, forever,
           You have many challenges comin' at ya.
           First is a fire, don't retire, now.
           
           Pick,
           Burn,
           Slide,
           and Down,
           again now,
           Pick,
           Burn,
           Slide,
           and Down.
           
           Listen to me now as I do my chore,
           Nobody ever talks to me no more,
           But if a baby were to come, crying out loud,
           Do you think you can play and calm it down?
           Or, if you're on a plane, how would you play?
           Throttle up and down, or away.
           I just wanna know, can you really go,
           With that guitar in hand, I don't know,
           [gong] Comin' at ya.

           Fly high,
           Sky high,
           Cry loud,
           Shut up,
           Fly, Cry,
           Pick, Burn,
           Pick, Cry,
           and Fly, Down.

           Shake it to the right, shake it to the left.
           I be the only masta that will give
           all the necessary skills to build a guitar,
           So you can play in [an island/hell], you come far!

           Chop,
           that wood!
           Choke
           real good!
           Pick Chop Burn!
           Cry Fly Choke!
           Burn Cry Slide!
           Chop Pick Fly!
           Choke Fly Pick!
           Cry Chop Down!  Ha ha,
           Pick Burn Cry!
           Cry Fly Chop!
           Pick Burn 'n Cry!
           Fly Chop Choke!

While Chop Chop raps and Lammy plays, her guitar suddenly changes appearance as
the song is ending. 

Chop Chop: PICK BURNIN' CRY FLY, CHOP CHOKE!
           I AM A MASTA, AND YOU!?

Chop Chop has finished the song and waves his arms around.

Chop Chop (looks at Lammy's skills): Ha, Lammy, look what you're holding in
your hand.

She sees... a vacuum cleaner in place of her guitar in her hand in confusion.

Lammy: I don't know.  What is it??

~ iii. Outro ~

INT. MILKCAN CONCERT STAGE

Lammy is shocked at the deception and the audience grumbles in disappointment
and leaves.  Only she and Chop Chop are left on stage.

Lammy: Wa-wa-wait!  Everybody wait!  Oh, what should I do?

Chop Chop: What are you afraid of?

Lammy: Well, look at my guitar!

Chop Chop: Guitar?  Listen.  I lost my Dojo.

Scene fades to a ruined Fruites Dojo in flames as he speaks; it then turns into
a brighter dojo with lots of Tamanegi onion pupils.

Chop Chop: But, the Dojo remains IN MY MIND.  It even has a casino!

The camera is led into a casino with Tamanegi pupils playing poker and 
blackjack with slot machines in the background.

Chop Chop: Dojo, casino, it's all in the mind.

Chop Chop is then shown standing on a roulette wheel as it spins around.

Chop Chop (continuing): You have nothing to lose!

Scene fades to black.

*************************************************
*3.1c. Stage 2: B, Back Off!  You're in the Way!*
*************************************************

~ i. Intro ~

INT. LAMMY'S ROOM

An alarm clock rings, and Lammy wakes up and turns off the alarm.  A Chop Chop
Master Arena concert poster is next to her bed.

Lammy (holding the alarm clock): Phew!  It was a dream.

She stretches out her arms and yawns a bit, then sees the alarm clock.

Lammy (gasps in shock): Aagh!

Her shock pauses in freeze-frame color negative, and she and her bed are on one
of the dark mountains on a cloudy darkness with a light beam shining on her as
the camera spins around.  Scene cuts to a close-up of a lever pulling down, and
she acts like a slot machine, with both numbers spinning in her eyes until they
stop at "15".

Lammy (V.O.): There's only 15 more minutes until the show!

She gulps and holds her alarm clock in disbelief, and rewinds it up to a scene 
of Lammy going through her drawers searching frantically for something and 
turning on her answering machine on the phone.

Phone (Lammy V.O.): Hi, this is Lammy.

INT. LAMMY'S APARTMENT

Lammy runs out of the room as the phone speaks and runs down the apartment
stairs, then realizes something and stops.

Lammy (while the machine speaks): Oops!  I forgot!

Phone (V.O.): I can't answer the phone right now, because... because... because
the MILKCAN team's live show is coming up real soon.  I'm not really ready for
it, but, but Ka-Katy, Ma-san and I have spent our last time in the studio; my
solo is not really the way I want it to be...

While the machine is speaking, she runs back up the stairs to her living room 
and finds it in a mess: the washer's door has burst open in suds, the cupboard 
door is open, the kettle is boiling like mad and smoke comes from the iron.  
She puts her hand on her mouth in shock, as the air conditioner is getting 
busted from being on too long.  She turns the A.C. off, then turns off the
stove while the chicken kettle is still boiling; unplugs the burning train iron
on the ironing board; sees the flooding bathtub with a rubber duck and turns it
off; then turns off the out-of-control vacuum cleaner; and turns off everything
in the room that's on for too long, even in Brady-Bunch style.

Phone (V.O.): ...so I've been practicing, and hope it turns out to be okay.  
Anyways, please leave your name, and a b-b-b-brief message, and I'll get back 
to you as soon as possible, okay?  Bye-bye.

While the machine is finishing speaking, she presses the panda bear on her bed,
but gasps and grabs the bear, then gently kisses it and sets it back down.  She
runs out of the room with her guitar case on her back for the last time and 
closes the door as the phone finishes and beeps.

EXT. PARAPPA TOWN: UPTOWN -- DAY

Lammy is running as fast as her legs could carry her, crossing the streets
along the way when she suddenly stops, shakes her head and looks up at the
sight: a building on fire, with crowds of people watching the scene as a 
helicopter passes by.

EXT. BURNING BUILDING -- DAY

?????? (O.C.): The fire from the pizza store downstairs has the crispy one with
cheese and is smelling good, sir!

Camera moves to a fire dog chief, Chief Puddle, as he speaks before getting to 
the pizza guy getting the pizzas out of the store as fast as possible.

Puddle (O.C.): I'm gonna block all the roads. [script error has the word "out"
between "block" and "all"]

Camera moves up to the top of the burning store next to the Joe Chin's Casino 
sign with the helicopter moving away, then moves to Lammy among the crowds.

Lammy (trying to plow through): Please, please let me through!  I'm in a hurry!

She gets through to a roadblock that stops her.

Puddle (grabbing a fire hose): A hurry?  B, back off!  You're in the way!

News reporter runs off to a panicked radio lady.

Panicked Radio Lady: Oooh, my baby!  My baby's still inside!  Somebody do 
something!!

Lammy: Eh, excuse me, I'm like in a hurry.  Can you let me through?

Camera moves to the burning store.

Puddle (O.C.): You're in a hurry?  Help us put the fire out, then!

Chief Puddle hands the hose to Lammy, who gets shaky at first.

Lammy: Me?  Help put out the fire?

The camera moves to the casino sign near the building, and she suddenly sees
it.

Lammy (reads): "CASINO"

The word "casino" comes to her, and Chop Chop's voice speaks.

Chop Chop (V.O.): Dojo, casino, it's all in the mind....

She soon finds herself standing on the roulette wheel in front of Chop Chop,
and it starts spinning before the camera cuts to a bell that rings out, as if
she has an idea.

Lammy (V.O.): Yeah, that's right!  My guitar's in my mind.

She realizes this, then makes a smile as the hose turns into a guitar and back
again.

Lammy: Leave it to Lammy!!

She imagines herself and jumps as the hose disappears and becomes an invisible 
guitar for her to hold and strum, and the song "Fire Fire" begins.

~ ii. Song: Fire Fire ~

A fire siren sounds the alert, and the scene cuts to the pizza guy getting the
burning pizzas out and running around before moving up to the top of the store
still in flames with the helicopter going around in circles.  The firefighters
are dancing around with Chief Puddle and Lammy with the hose as the song
begins.

       Puddle: Let's get on, let's get on.
               Fight the fire, come on now.
               We gotta put it out quick.
               That's what I'm talkin' 'bout, [sic]
               
               [with the crowds] Hold the hose real tight and get ready for a 
               real fight.
               Give these people a show and show 'em something that's right.

       Crowds: (Having fun.)
       Puddle: I've been doing this for years, let me tell you a little 
               something.
       Crowds: (With the funk.)

While Lammy plays, she starts to put out the fire with the hose.

       Crowds: (Having fun.)
       Puddle: It's a bit of a rush and a bit of a dash!
       Crowds: (With the funk.)

More fire is being put out as she plays.

       Puddle: Put it on the fire, real good, put it out cold and feel good.
               If you don't think you're the one, fireman's daily work can't be
               done.

Camera moves to the top of the building again.

Puddle (O.C.): We be on a role, puttin' on a show, lettin' people know we're 
               like, no other.

Camera moves back to Puddle after she plays.

       Puddle: Water over here, and over there so the fire won't spread and go 
               no further.
               
               [with the crowds] Hold the hose real tight and get ready for a 
               real fight.
               Give these people a show and show 'em something that's right.

       Crowds: (Having fun.)
       Puddle: I've been doing this for years, let me tell you a little 
               something.
       Crowds: (With the funk.)

She does the same as before.

       Crowds: (Having fun.)
       Puddle: It's a bit of a rush and a bit of a dash!
       Crowds: (With the funk.)

       Puddle: Put it on the fire, real good, put it out cold and feel good.
               If you don't think you're the one, fireman's daily work can't be
               done.

               Let's get on, let's get on.
               Where's the fire?  It's out now.

All the fire at the top of the store is put out like magic.
       
       Puddle: Time for lunch, let's go out quick.

The song has finished and the crowd cheers.

Puddle (to Lammy): OK, that was pretty good.  You can go through now.

Lammy (extends her arm out): OK!  Gotta move on!

Scene ends with the pizza guy still running around like mad.

**********************************
*3.1d. Stage 3: After School Sale*
**********************************

~ i. Intro ~

EXT. PARAPPA TOWN: UPTOWN -- DAY

Everyone is congratulating Lammy on a job well done, including Chief Puddle.

Puddle: Thanks to you, we get to keep our job.

Camera switches to stacks of pizza as he continues.

Puddle (O.C.): Here, stock up on this pizza.  The house is well-done, but the
pizza is medium-rare.

Lammy takes two slices of pizza and eats them as he speaks.

Puddle (O.C.): Plenty for everyone.  Have this too!

Puddle gives her a siren, called a "Flanger", which is one of the Effecters,
and she takes it in her hands and smiles.

Lammy: Thanks.

She then looks at her watch again and...

Lammy (gasps in shock again): Aagh!

She puts up both hands on her cheeks in horror as the guitar plays again, while
her hair acts like it's on fire, and soon finds herself sitting on one of the
many flangers that spin around like the lottery balls.  She becomes a slot
machine again, with both numbers spinning in her eyes until they stop at "11".

Lammy (V.O.): 11 more minutes to go... Oop...

While she thinks about this, she suddenly gets too fat and obese from eating
all the pizza and feels sick as she runs across the street, but her obesity is
slowing her down and she trips and falls onto the pavement.  There is a brief
flash of light for a second before balloons fly up over the rainbow.  Camera
then moves back onto the street buildings.  Lammy gets up and looks for a
moment and sees... a parade of pregnant women and a few men marching and 
singing along.

[TREASURE, PART I]

Expectant Parents (singing): Time for you and me to have a family,
                             With a baby we should live so happily.

A caterpillar midwife is among the parade as the expectant mothers continue
singing.  One of them is holding a basket and playing a tuba as they sing.

          Expectant Parents: Could be a boy or a girl, whichever we don't mind
                             at all,
                             Our newborn treasure shall bring lots of love,
                             and peace to all...
                             Uh huh.

          Expectant Mothers: You can give him food, change his diapers.
          Expectant Fathers: Then you can pay the bills, do the dishes.
          Expectant Mothers: You can babysit.
          Expectant Fathers: Only if I'm it...

[For the rest of the song, see the script part entitled "Miscellany".]

EXT. BIRTHMART DISCOUNTS CENTER -- DAY

While the parade is singing, the caterpillar, Cathy Piller, looks at Lammy.

Cathy: Oh my!  Are you in labor?

Lammy feels very sick to her stomach, but sees something vomit out like a
bubble.

Cathy: Well, you don't need to worry anymore.

Cathy's vomit covers Lammy to her dismay as Cathy continues.

Cathy: I've been doing this for 50 years.  And you're lucky because today is an
after-school sale.  Come on now!

She makes a vomiting sound while she speaks and shows Lammy the Birthmart
Discounts Center.  Lammy gets embarrassed by this and tries to back away.

Lammy: No, no, no...  That's not what I...

Cathy ignores her and extends her hand to grab her and drag her to the center
as the parade finishes the song with, "Our newest little baby."  Scene fades to
black.

INT. BIRTHMART DISCOUNTS CENTER

The women rabbits have just given birth to their babies and are now holding
them when they are given to their mothers on the second floor of the center.

Cathy: OK, everyone, [vomits as she continues] I'm proud of all of you.  All 
the babies are healthy and well.

While Cathy vomits, Lammy can't take anymore of this and covers her mouth.

Cathy: You're still not done?!  But your tummy is small now.

While she is speaking, Lammy's stomach shrinks down to normal size like magic,
as if she had recovered from her sickness and obesity.  Baby rabbits are
playing with the blocks as Cathy vomits and continues.

Cathy (O.C.): Hey, you didn't really have a baby, did you?

While she vomits in anger offscreen, more baby rabbits are playing with the
slide while the nurse grabs one of them sleeping in bundles.

Cathy (O.C.): Get up now and help us out!

One of the rabbits shows a roulette wheel as she still continues.

Cathy: Come on now, let's get to work!

As Cathy vomits and leaves, Lammy is unsure what to do with all those babies, 
until she sees one of them on a slide next to the roulette wheel, which then 
spins over.  Once again, she is on the wheel, and once more the vision of Chop 
Chop speaks to her.

Chop Chop (V.O.): Dojo, casino, it's all in the mind...

Once more she finds herself spinning on the wheel before the camera cuts to a 
bell that rings out, as if she has an idea again.

Lammy (V.O., holding the baby): Yeah, that's right.  My guitar's in my mind.

She realizes this and smiles as the baby turns into a guitar and back again.

Lammy: Leave it to Lammy!

As she jumps, the baby vanishes and turns into an invisible guitar for her to 
strum, and the song "Baby Baby" begins.

~ ii. Song: Baby Baby ~

Lammy and Cathy are inside a balloon dream in her imagined Birthmart Discounts
Center, each holding a baby in their hand.

                     Cathy: (Now put these kids to sleep, will ya!?)

The baby starts to sing.

                      Baby: Ma ma ma ma, ma ma ma ma, ma ma ma ma, ma ma ma ma.
                            Pa pa pa pa, pa pa pa pa, pa pa pa pa, pa pa pa.
                            Gimme some milk, gimme some food.
                            Gimme the car, one that goes voom!

                     Cathy: (Now put these kids to sleep, will ya!?)

                      Baby: I need to potty, or I'll be real naughty.
                            Somebody hold me, somebody hug me.
                            Ma ma ma ma, ma ma.
                            Pa pa pa pa, pa pa.
                            Somebody come over quick.
                            I'm gonna start a trick.
                            'Cuz here I go.
                            Didn't you know?
                            I am a kid,
                            With no control.

                     Cathy: (Now put these kids to sleep, will ya!?)

                      Baby: I think my diaper is wet.
                            I think the bed gon' be next.
                            I wanna go, I need to go now.
                            How much longer, I don't know now.
                            You are the person who's #$%^&! [ba ba ba ba ba ba
                            ba ba]
                            Or was it Mama and #$%^&! [pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa]

                     Cathy: (Now put these kids to sleep, will ya!?)

                      Baby: Hey hey Papa, I been good.
                            Now can I please have my food?

Cathy (tosses the baby up): (Now put these kids to sleep, will ya!?)
                      
                      Baby: Papa, can I go and have the toy that make that
                            funny sound-a?
                            Mama, can I eat the food that make me feel like
                            million dolla?
                            I wanna go to bed right now, mama.
                            Buy me that toy before that, oh please, papa.

There is a cheer among the crowds again as the baby's song finishes.

Baby (feeling drowsy): I'll shut up now.  I'm sleepy... Zzz

Lammy (waves her arms): Good night, little guys...

She folds her arms in a signal as if to take a nap, and the scene ends.

***********************************************
*3.1e. Stage 4: Now Which One Is My Left Hand?*
***********************************************

~ i. Intro ~

INT. BIRTHMART DISCOUNTS CENTER

The mothers are dancing around in circles with Cathy Piller.

Cathy (to Lammy): Listen, [vomits as she continues to Lammy's dismay] we have
discounts every Monday and Wednesday.

She vomits on the disgusted Lammy again.

Cathy (O.C.): Come to us when you really have a baby.

Cathy vomits again, then reaches into her pocket and takes out something.

Cathy: Here.

The item is revealed to be a toy caterpillar called the "Harmonizer", another
one of the Effecters, and Lammy takes it.

Lammy: Thank you.

She looks at the watch again and...

Lammy (gasps in shock again): Aagh!

She puts her hands on her cheeks in shock in a color negative before the scene
turns white, then soon finds herself riding on one of the caterpillars before
she becomes the slot machine again, both numbers spinning in their eyes; this
time they stop at the number "8".

Lammy (V.O.): I only have 8 more minutes!

She runs out of the center to the door where the couple are standing near, and
opens the door on the couple, barging in on them before tripping on a rainbow
skateboard.

Lammy: Ooooaaaauugghghh!

EXT. PARAPPA TOWN: UPTOWN -- DAY

Lammy rides on the skateboard, leaving the center.

Wife (angry): Hey!  Where are you going?  Give it back!

She rides out of control onto the streets, nearly colliding into passing cars
on the way, and suddenly going backwards...

Lammy (V.O., realizing): Oh, the plane is leaving!

She chases the plane as fast as she can and catches it in time.

INT. PLANE

Lammy tries getting in the plane as a voice is heard.

???????????? (O.C.): Let's seee [now]... Was it the green button or the blue 
switch?

A strange old pilot, Captain Fussenpepper, looks at her, but as he does, one
control panel falls and lands on his head.  He suddenly turns red with anger,
and his eyes become hypnotic, turning him into a strict madman.

Fussenpepper: Gotta put that back in there!

He turns to her, and she gasps in fright as he gets near her.  Camera gets to
a close-up of Fussenpepper's angry face.

Fussenpepper (yelling): Where in the world were you, soldier?

She is in shock and tries to back away near a TV, thermos, books and a record.

Fussenpepper (continues): Haven't you ever heard the term 'punctual'?

He points at her before continuing and coming near her.

Fussenpepper: In the Air Force, a split second decision makes the difference
between life and death!

Another control panel falls down to land on him.

Fussenpepper: Don't you...

The panel hits Fussenpepper on the head again, and he now has two lumps on his
head as he is back to normal.

Fussenpepper (calmed): Here we gooo...

Lammy is amazed at the sight of him being droopy.

Fussenpepper: I kinda forgot how to fly..

She gets a WTH look at him before he continues.

Fussenpepper: See, I had to go repair my dentures a few days ago..

He shows his false, shiny teeth, which kind of surprises her.

Fussenpepper: Hee, hee, hee... Oh boy, I can eat almonds now..

Before he can finish, his head is bumped up, and he turns into a strict sargent
again with three lumps on his head.

Fussenpepper: It fell down again!

He grabs her and shoves her onto the pilot's seat.

Fussenpepper (O.C.): Look!  I told you we don't have all day!

He points at her again.

Fussenpepper: Get to work now, soldier!

Lammy: Eh, I'm not exactly a pilot but, umm...

Fussenpepper hits his head on the control panel again and returns to his 
normal, dopey self again.

Fussenpepper: Here we go... Look here!  I'll help you fly...

He holds his hands up.

Fussenpepper: Now which one is my right hand?

Just then the radio's voice speaks and they look up.

Flight Attendant (speaking from the radio): May I have your attention, please. 
We will be taking off shortly so please fasten your seat belts at this time.

Lammy is getting jittery as the flight attendant continues.

Flight Attendant (V.O.): That also goes for the passengers in our casino...

Her word of "casino" echoes in Lammy's ears, and pics of Chop Chop and Japanese
symbols appear as his voice speaks to her once again, but this time, Lammy's
voice joins his.

Chop Chop and Lammy (V.O.): Dojo, casino, it's all in the mind...

The scene changes into a roulette wheel spinning once again before the camera 
cuts to a bell that rings out, as if she has an idea again.

Lammy (V.O., holding the steering wheel): Yeah, that's right.  My guitar is in
my mind.

She realizes and smiles once again as the steering wheel turns into a guitar
and back, as she begins to steer.

Lammy: Leave it to Lammy!

The steering wheel vanishes and becomes an invisible guitar as she jumps on her
chair to strum, while the chair springs up before the scene turns normal again.

Fussenpepper: Now which one is my left hand?  Could it be this one?

EXT. AIRPORT -- DAY

Cars are passing by and the plane lifts off as the sky darkens, leaving a can
rolling in the streets, and the song "Fright Flight" begins.

~ ii. Song: Fright Flight ~

The plane takes off on a cruise, and there's a split-screen between the top and
the bottom, the latter showing Lammy and Captain Fussenpepper, who has become a
strict sargent again, grooving to the beat in front of the mirror that has two
dice hung on the front for good luck.  Even the whole plane grooves to the
heavy metal beat.  This continues for a long time before Fussenpepper starts
the song with a bark.

Fussenpepper: Look up in the sky, gimme all you got, never give it up, Soldier!
              Get up in the morn, run around the track!  Show me what you got,
              Soldier!
              
              [head-bonk, normal]
              Did I eat my drink??
              I thought milk was pink??
              
              [head-bonk, strict]
              Auto pilot on, auto pilot off!
              Little bit of this, little bit of that!
              
              [head-bonk, normal]
              Now do you like munchies?
              I wonder where lunch is??
              [head-bonk, strict]
              1 2, 3 4, 5 6!
              Always give it your best!
              [head-bonk, normal]
              My knee's in pain.
              So is my brain.

              [head-bonk, strict]
              Look up in the sky, gimme all you got, never give it up, Soldier!
              Get up in the morn, run around the track!  Show me what you got,
              Soldier!

              [head-bonk, normal]
              I thought I just made some coffee for me.
              I want some apples and berries to eat.

              [head-bonk, strict]
              Now it's time to move on, it only gets much harder so carry on!
              You think I'm old now, I got the skills to beat you and knock you
              out!

              [head-bonk, normal]
              My knee's in pain.
              So is my brain.
              [head-bonk, strict]
              Throttle up, flaps down!
              Power up, gears down!
              [head-bonk, normal]
              I'm getting sleepy...
              I want my sheets.
              [head-bonk, strict]
              Auto pilot on, auto pilot off!
              Little bit of this, little bit of that!

              [head-bonk, normal]
              Now do you like munchies?
              I wonder where lunch is??
              [head-bonk, strict]
              1 2, 3 4, 5 6!
              Always give it your best!

              [head-bonk, normal once more]
              In the old days I was a hero but look at me, I'm learning just
              how to fly.
              I'm still wondering, when we get to rest, I'm hungry, I'm sleepy,
              don't wanna die.

Screen returns to normal, as the plane makes it through without incident, and
there is a cheer of the crowds once more.

Fussenpepper: That was gooder than good!  Congratulations!!

Lammy (waves her hand): Thank you!!  I'm in a hurry!  Need to move on!

Scene ends with her smile.

**********************************************
*3.1f. Stage 5: You Said Anything, Didn't Ya?*
**********************************************

~ i. Intro ~

EXT. AIRPORT -- DUSK

Cars are crossing the streets near the airport as the plane lands near parked
cars, crash-landing on the parking lot.

EXT. PLANE -- DUSK

Lammy and Captain Fussenpepper are at the exit and she jumps down to the ground
with him next to the parking meter to find the airport in flames.  Notice that
she doesn't have a guitar pack with her this time.  She puts the coin in the
parking meter as Fussenpepper gets up.

Fussenpepper: That was some adventure, ey?

While he speaks, he pulls out his false teeth and shows them to her.

Fussenpepper (in a garbled mumble): (Here, take this with you on your next
challenge.)

The set of false teeth is revealed to be the "Wah Wah", the third Effecter, and
Lammy takes them.

Lammy: Thanks.

She looks at her watch again and...

Lammy (gasps and jumps in shock again): Aagh!

She puts her hands to her cheeks a la "Home Alone".  This time she finds
herself being chewed on by the giant teeth inside another set of giant teeth,
which is inside a third set of giant teeth.  This time, she becomes a slot
machine again, with the numbers on her eyes already stopped on the number "3".

Lammy (V.O.): I only have 3 more minutes!

Scene returns to the plane in flames.

Lammy (to Fussenpepper): But I'm close enough now.  Thanks, sir!

She runs away as Fussenpepper waves her goodbye.

EXT. PARAPPA TOWN: DOWNTOWN -- DUSK

Lammy runs as fast as she can, then she realizes that she has forgotten
something and stops as the car swerves off, nearly avoiding a collision.

Lammy: Guitar!

The guitar fades away from her mind.

Lammy (searching her pockets): My guitar!!  Where did I put it?!

She accidentally takes out the Wah Wah from her pocket, along with the knight
and the pigeon, the alarm clock, the tire, and the broccoli stalk, and the
submarine before realizing...

Lammy: Oooh noooo!  I left it on the plane!

As she screams, she kneels down in the agony of defeat a la "Platoon" as the
plane passes by her before taking off into the sky once more, with the image of
Fussenpepper gazing in the dusk and waving goodbye with a handkerchief.

Lammy: I gotta get me a guitar...

Camera moves across the street to reveal a store with signs that read, "CHUCK'S
CUSTOM GUITARS", "SALES * REPAIRS", "NECKS FIXED" and "WE BUILD GUITARS".

Lammy (O.C.): Hey!  There's one!

INT. CHUCK'S CUSTOM GUITARS STORE

Lammy runs into the store to discover a beaver at the counter, whose name is
Paul Chuck himself.  The song "Casino in My Hair" plays inside.

Chuck: May I help you?

Lammy: Yeah, uhmmm, I'm looking for, for a guitar.

Chuck (curious): What kind?

Lammy (blushes): Well, um.. a cool one, with awesome sound and has reclining
seats, power-steering, and dual airbags...

While she speaks, the camera checks locations to see if a possible guitar can
be anywhere before moving back to Lammy and Chuck.

Chuck (interrupting her, picking his nose): I don't have time for jokers.

Lammy: No, [no no no no,] I'm sorry.  I just want one that's cool and cheap,
and of course the sound quality's gotta be superior.

While she says this, she shrinks down to a miniscule size a bit.

Chuck (angry): Oooh, a greedy girl, ain't ya?

Lammy (backs off and kneels down): Oh please, I'll do anything, anything.  
Please!

The camera moves to a dark, shocking close-up of Chuck's face with his eyes
gleaming.

Chuck (V.O.): Anything?

Lammy (with sad, pleading eyes): Uh huh?

Camera moves to a closeup of a chainsaw that Chuck grabs and pulls hard on the
chain.

Lammy (frightened at the sight and backs off): Woooo!  Help!  Go away!

She runs off like in a horror film as a scary close-up of Chuck's face appears
again.

Chuck: You said anything, didn't ya?

Camera pulls away to reveal him acting like a serial killer from a bad horror
movie, with a chainsaw that says, "BITE ME!"

Lammy (O.C.): Aaaaaaaagh!

Camera cuts back to Lammy backed up in a corner and crying for mercy before
cutting to a door that opens up to reveal...

EXT. CHUCK'S BACKYARD FOREST -- DUSK

Cute little animals like a bear and a squirrel move around the forest as birds
chirp.

Chuck: C'mon, let's make a guitar.

Lammy (relieved): Eh, but.. but I don't exactly have the time...

She points to her watch as Chuck hands the Bite Me chainsaw to her as the song
continues playing.

Singer (V.O.): Casino here, Casino there, Casino in my hair.

While the voice sings, camera cuts to Chuck and his critters before cutting
over to the squirrel playing "Casino in My Hair" on a phonograph.  Almost
immediately, Lammy sees the squirrel on the phonograph, and the record turns
into a roulette wheel that spins around before the camera cuts to a bell that 
rings out, as if she has an idea again.

Lammy (V.O.): Yeah!  My guitar is in my mind.

She smiles as the chainsaw turns into a guitar and back again.

Lammy: Leave it to Lammy!

She jumps once again as the chainsaw becomes an invisible guitar for her to
hold and strum, before the camera cuts back to the forest with Chuck and the
bear dancing around to the squirrel playing on the phonograph with the other
squirrel running around in circles.  And as the song ends, another one, "Power
Off, Power On!" begins.

~ ii. Song: Power Off, Power On! ~

Scene cuts to an aerial view of the forest with Lammy and Paul Chuck boogeying
to the beat.  Both have the Bite Me chainsaws in hands in a duel as he begins
his song.

Chuck: Get up, turn your chainsaw on.
       Power off, power on.
       Now let's start with this tree here.
       Low gear, high gear.

As they play, one tree gets stripped of lumber.

Chuck: Come on, hurry, hurry, hurry hurry hurry.
       No need to worry, worry, the tree gonna grow back surely.
       
       All I wanna hear is you've come over here.  There's no foolin' around
       with deers.
       [Come on and get down, way/Chop all of 'em down, every] single one down.
       Then we're gonna make a good guitar with all the timber around.

       NEVER USE JOE CHIN'S CHAINS FOR THEM.

The tree continues to get stripped of the lumber as the song continues.

Chuck: Rockin' to the beat of the sun.
       [Knowin' that we're here/Choppin' trees down] for the fun.

The tree is now stripped to its bare bones.

Chuck: We gonna make a good guitar,
       by givin' it all you got.
       Come on, girl,
       Hurry it up, girl.

       OK, turn it down, turn it up.
       Make sure batteries are charged up!

       Give it all you got, every little muscle that you got inside your little
       bo, body!
       I don't wanna hear, that you got no time or you're in a hurry to your
       gig, gig, gig.

       All I wanna hear is you've come over here.  There's no foolin' around
       with deers.
       [Come on and get down, way/Chop all of 'em down, every] single one down.
       Then we're gonna make a good guitar with all the timber around.

       NEVER USE JOE CHIN'S CHAINS FOR THEM, NO!

The tree is almost getting shaped like a guitar as the song continues.

Chuck: Jammin', hard slammin', loud banging.
       Rockin', rollin all night long.

The tree is now shaped like a green guitar with a red strum bar.

Chuck: Now that we come so far
       Tell me just who you are.
       Are you my shining star?
       Let me see your guitar.

The tree-stripping is now done, and there is a cheer of the crowds once again.

Chuck: Hmmm, I'm impressed!  You can move on now.

Lammy drops her chainsaw and raises her hand in jubilation.

Lammy: Yeah!  I really need to move on!

There is a smile on her face as the scene ends.

***************************
*3.1g. Stage 6: Vital Idol*
***************************

[NOTE: From this point onward, all the intros in this stage and the following 
final stage will be split into two segments each: Intro A (Japan/PAL version 
with the original script) and Intro B (U.S. version with the revised script). 
If you have already played the U.S. version of the game, skip Intro A and move 
on to Intro B.  Otherwise, read on if you have played or are interested in the
other version.  ;) ]

~ i. Intro A ~

INT. CHUCK'S CUSTOM GUITARS STORE

There's a close-up of a new, shiny guitar that Lammy has got.  She holds it
down and smiles while the song "Casino in My Hair" is still playing.  Paul
Chuck is at the counter.

Chuck (taking out something): Here!  You can have this, too!

He shows a plastic, miniature log with an axe on it; it is revealed to be the
"Distortion", the fourth Effecter, and she holds it in her hand.

Lammy: Thank you!

Once more she looks at her watch and...

Lammy (gasps in shock once more): Aagh!

Once more Lammy presses her hands to her cheeks in "Home Alone" fashion as the
color flashes between negative and positive, and she disintigrates.  This time,
the chopping axes on logs are yards away from her.  Once more she acts like a
slot machine, and this time, the numbers on her eyes stop at the number "2".

Lammy (V.O.): 2 more minutes and I'm history.

She starts to run out of the store.

EXT. PARAPPA TOWN: DOWNTOWN -- DUSK

Lammy runs out of Chuck's Custom Guitars Store, with the cars nearly colliding
into her as she crosses the street.  But this time, it can't be good: As she
runs through the streets in a hurry, there is a close-up of a banana peel on
the ground near the Cow Mart, but she can't see where it is, because she is in 
too much of a hurry.  She steps on it and starts to slip.

Lammy (screaming): Aaaaagh!

She gets tossed upward into the air in slow-motion, with the peel flying
upwards into the air, before she falls headlong into a pavement.  There is a 
"BAM!" as she crashes into the pavement, breaking her neck on impact.  She
finds herself on the ground in a dizzying spell, before she turns pale, loses 
her ability to cling to life, and dies in front of a familiar face: PJ Berri 
from "PaRappa the Rapper", who had just eaten bananas and left one of the peels
on the ground.  It now falls on top of her, and her color-negative soul finds
itself floating away from her lifeless body, and upwards into who knows where. 
Scene fades into...

EXT. HELL: RUINED CITY -- DUSK

There is an aerial view of Lammy, now a color-positive soul, lying on the 
ruined streets before coming to, with the guitar still in her hand, near some 
ruined signs that say "Yoko, Teriyaki" and "Happy Hour Lounge".

Lammy's Soul (gets up): Phew.  It was a dream.

Scene cuts to a grim factory in the ruined streets on the mountain, and it
doesn't look good at all.

Lammy's Soul: Am I... dead?

She feels alone and stands up.

Lammy's Soul: Is this hell?

She walks through the streets in loneliness before stopping.

Lammy's Soul: If... if I'm dead, then the game's over!  What a stupid game!!

As if on cue, the fake end credits roll upward, with "Parappa's End Roll in G
Minor" playing through them, followed by the names of the previous levels she
has beaten with her teachers, whose names are finally revealed.

Fake Credits: MILKCAN are:
              Lammy,
              Katy Kat
              &
              Ma-san

              "Now Wait a Minute!  Who Is That!?"
              Chop Chop Master Onion
              
              "B, Back Off!  You're in the Way!"
              Chief Puddle
              
              "After School Sale"
              Cathy Pillar [sic]
              
              "Now Which One Is My Left Hand?"
              Captain Fussenpepper
              
              "You Said Anything, Didn't Ya?"
              Paul Chuck
              
              "Vital Idol"

While the fake credits are still rolling, a mysterious Pumpkin Head runs up to 
her.

Pumpkin Head: Oh, there's the guitarist!  Come on, hurry!  Hurry!

He grabs her and runs off with her.

Pumpkin Head: We need you out there!

Lammy's Soul: Huh?

The last part of the fake end credits reveals the Pumpkin Head's name to be
"Jack Smash (Agent from Hell)" before he stops them and the sad music,
indicating that the game is not over after all.

Jack: Not yet!  Not yet!

Scene fades into...

INT. HELL: CONCERT

There is a crowd cheering in some new concert going on in the darkness,
shining in the moving spotlight.  Scene cuts to the concert with decorations
from hell adorned all over it, before moving to a mysterious figure in a dress
in close-up, who turns around and sees Lammy being tossed onstage onto the
ground, letting her guitar fall from her hands onto the floor.

????: Who do you think you are, coming in this late?

The woman, Teriyaki Yoko, puts her hands on her hips with a mean streak before 
the roses appear in the background as she continues.

Yoko: Don't underestimate me just 'cuz I'm an idol!

Jack (calling Lammy): C'mon, it's time to do it!

Yoko (picking up Lammy's guitar and threatening): I'm gonna kill you!

Lammy's Soul: Eh, I think I'm dead already.

Yoko (realizing this): Then I'll put you back to life!

Lammy's Soul (smiling in hope): Really?  Can you really do that?

Yoko: Yeah, only if you play right!  Come on!

She tosses the guitar back to Lammy, and at once, the camera cuts to a bell 
that rings out, as if she has an idea again.

Lammy's Soul (smiling again): Yeah, that's right.  My guitar is in my mind.

The guitar begins to shine at once.

Lammy's Soul (jumping up in joy): Leave it to Lammy!

The scene cuts back to the stage, with Yoko turning around and smiling at her.

Yoko: Here we go, everyone!  One!  Two!  Three!  Four!

Scene cuts to the concert with the audience cheering as the flames of hell rise
up in pillars of fire, and the song "Taste of Teriyaki" begins.

[NOTE: If you have already played the Japan/PAL version of the game, skip to
"Song: Taste of Teriyaki".]

~ ii. Intro B ~

INT. CHUCK'S CUSTOM GUITARS STORE

There's a close-up of a new, shiny guitar that Lammy has got.  She holds it
down and smiles while the song "Casino in My Hair" is still playing.  Paul
Chuck is at the counter.

Chuck (taking out something): Here!  You can have this, too!

He shows a plastic, miniature log with an axe on it; it is revealed to be the
"Distortion", the fourth Effecter, and she holds it in her hand.

Lammy: Thank you!

Once more she looks at her watch and...

Lammy (gasps in shock once more): Aagh!

Once more Lammy presses her hands to her cheeks in "Home Alone" fashion as the
color flashes between negative and positive, and she disintigrates.  This time,
the chopping axes on logs are yards away from her.  Once more she acts like a
slot machine, and this time, the numbers on her eyes stop at the number "2".

Lammy (V.O.): 2 more minutes and I'm history.

She starts to run out of the store.

EXT. PARAPPA TOWN: DOWNTOWN -- DUSK

Lammy exits through the red door which closes.  As it closes, her belt gets
snagged onto its doorknob, which seems to pull itself along with the belt as
she runs and starts to turn elastic as she is slowing down along with the
music.  The belt and doorknob act as a catapult as she starts to get flung
backwards.

Lammy (screaming): Aaaaagh!

She is flung upwards into the evening sky, and suddenly time and music are
reversed as she disappears in a flash of light.  The screen goes into "Rewind
Mode" as she flies backwards before falling through a passing plane and
crashing in front of Captain Fussenpepper in strict sargent mode, pointing a
finger at her and barking, "Power up, gears down!"  The plane passes by her and
she flies again before she falls down through the messed-up screen mode, 
falling onto Cathy Piller and the expectant mothers on parade.  Cathy gives her
a vomiting kiss, which disgusts Lammy to no end, while there is a background of
a baby singing "Ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma..."  She is suddenly flung backwards 
from the Birthmart Discounts Center, on through the long streets, landing in 
front of Chief Puddle and the firefighters, and she looks at his familiar face 
that she recognized as the one who helped her put out the fire.  While his 
voice sings, "A bit of a rush, and a bit of a dash," she accidentally lands on 
the pizzas, but it doesn't seem to bother Puddle at all. Once again she is 
flung upwards through the streets again, not seeming to stop at all, until she 
lands at...

Lammy: My house.

But her apartment door opens wide, and she flies outside and upward, once again
screaming.

Lammy: Aaaaagh!

She hovers over a tropical desert island before falling onto the ground; scene
fades to white before cutting to a plummeting aerial view of a hut, as she 
comes down and crash-lands with a "BAM!"

Lammy (O.C.): Ouch!

EXT. PAST: ISLAND JUNGLE -- DUSK

Lammy had crashed onto the island jungle, leaving her body-shaped hole in the
sand.  When she emerges from the pit, she is dressed in jungle camouflage with
vines on her head and dusty jungle makeup on her face.  She shakes her head and
wonders where she is, while birds chirp.  Camera cuts to a palm tree and moves
through the sky onto the tiki statues near a pagoda-shaped sign that says, 
"Special Tonight: Live: Teriyaki Yoko" while the bees are buzzing, and light 
shines on the statues and the signpost.  Just then the Pumpkin Head, Jack 
Smash, appears to her surprise.

Jack: There's the guitarist!  Come on, hurry!  Hurry!  We need you out there!

Lammy: Huh?

Jack grabs her and pulls her through the statues, and the scene fades to black.

INT. PAST: VOLCANO CONCERT

There is a crowd cheering in some new concert going on in the darkness,
shining in the moving spotlight.  Scene cuts to the concert with island 
decorations adorned all over it, before moving to a mysterious figure in a 
dress in close-up, who turns around and sees Lammy being tossed onstage onto 
the ground, letting her guitar fall from her hands onto the floor.

????: Who do you think you are, coming in this late?

The woman, Teriyaki Yoko, puts her hands on her hips with a mean streak before 
the roses appear in the background as she continues.

Yoko: Don't underestimate me just 'cuz I'm an idol!

Jack (holding an alarm clock): C'mon, it's time to do it!

Lammy (clueless): Um, no no no.  You see, I was on my way to my own show, but I
ended up here.

Yoko has had Lammy's guitar pointed at her while Lammy is speaking.

Yoko (surprised): How did that happen!?  Anyways, I'll help you get to where
you're going.

Lammy gets excited in relief.

Lammy: Really?  Can you really do that?

Yoko: Yeah, only if you play right!  Come on!

She tosses the guitar back to Lammy, and at once, the camera cuts to a bell 
that rings out, as if she has an idea again.

Lammy (smiling again): Yeah, that's right.  My guitar is in my mind.

The guitar begins to shine at once.

Lammy (jumping up in joy): Leave it to Lammy!

The scene cuts back to the stage, with Yoko turning around and smiling at her.

Yoko: Here we go, everyone!  One!  Two!  Three!  Four!

Scene cuts to the concert with the audience cheering as the volcanic magma
rises up in pillars of fire, and the song "Taste of Teriyaki" begins.

~ iii. Song: Taste of Teriyaki ~

An audience is applauding, with Teriyaki Yoko and her back-up band members in
her concert, and Lammy is second fiddle to her, and there is a monitor shown
above.  Yoko turns around to the cheering crowd, who applauds for her, and her 
song begins.

Yoko: I know you're the wild and violent flame.
      I still, smell your smoke and I can't play straight with your game.
      That doesn't mean, that I am yours, I'm not alone, I'm not a fool, I have
      a lot to give.
      In any case, it's up to you, if you can show that you can give more than
      I got to give.
      
      It might be you, or maybe you, my mind is jumping back and forth and up
      and down.
      Somebody come and rescue me before an angel comes to take me 'round and
      'round.
      I only wanted you to, come over here, 'cuz I can think of something for
      me and you to do.

The back-up singers are harmonizing while Lammy strums her guitar well.

Yoko: If I can have another, another dream, [somebody/the devil] would come
      back to pick me up with you.

Camera pulls to a far-off view of Yoko and Lammy on the monitor while the song
continues.

Yoko: I wanna be a girl, that has a lot to give, never caught alone, never
      shedding tears.
      So I need a man, that really understands every little thing and knows my
      fears.
      
      It might be you, or maybe you, my mind is jumping back and forth and up
      and down.
      Somebody come and rescue me before an angel comes to take me 'round and
      'round.
      I only wanted you to, come over here, 'cuz I can think of something for
      me and you to do.

The back-up singers harmonize again, while Lammy tries to keep up with the
strumming.

Yoko: If I can have another, another dream, [somebody/the devil] would come
      back to pick me up with you.

      Oh I do hope that the, that the time comes.
      Time has come for me to, me to have fun.
      I'm talking 'bout a lot of fire.
      I'm talking 'bout no getting tired.
      Forever and ever.
      Together forever.

Lammy, shown on the monitor, has played perfectly in success, followed by a
smiling Yoko, and the audience cheers for them both.

Yoko: You were just as I expected.  Really good.

Lammy/Lammy's Soul (smiles among the back-up singers): Thanx!  That's what I do
best!

She waves to the audience as the camera pulls away and the scene ends.

[NOTE: The final stage that follows this one will have its intro split into two
again.  Once again, if you have played the U.S. version, skip to Intro B;
otherwise read on.]

************************************
*3.1h. Stage 7: MILKCAN, That's Us!*
************************************

~ i. Intro A ~

INT. HELL: CONCERT

Teriyaki Yoko is proud of Lammy's perfect play.

Yoko (taking out the microphone): Alright.

She presses the button on the mic, and Lammy is surprised.

Yoko (O.C.): This is the supersonic transportation device, and it will send you
back to where you came from.

At once the device, which looks like a fax machine, emerges on a pedestal while
Yoko is speaking.

Lammy's Soul (relieved): Eh... OK.  Cool.

At once the number "555-212314" appears and the device lights up.  It prints
out a picture of someone who looks like Lammy, but with a darker side, who
emerges from the paper.

?????: Phew.  Is the show over?

Lammy is surprised to find her own evil self, called Rammy, standing there and 
looking angry that the show is indeed over.

Rammy: So you're the one who took my job!

She points the finger at Lammy, struggling to try to get into the device, as 
Rammy continues.

Rammy: My watch is broken, my guitar strings broke, my costume has wrinkles,
and I don't get any messages on my beeper, all because of YOU!

She shows the beeper, which beeps and says "NOTHING", and Lammy is trying to 
get in the device as fast as possible while Rammy points the finger at her 
again as she finishes.  But Lammy has just gotten in as the device beeps.

Lammy's Soul: Say what?

Rammy (shouting): Let's see who's the better guitarist!

Lammy looks at the device that has activated.

Lammy's Soul: Eh, I'm really in a hurry.  Maybe some other day!

She is pulled inside the device as she finishes speaking.

Rammy (runs up to the device): Hey, wait!  Get back here!

She tries to pull Lammy out, but it's too late, as the scene blows out, and
there is a flash of light, and Rammy's final words echo as the scene pulls into
a swirl of light and fades into...

EXT. PARAPPA TOWN: DOWNTOWN -- DUSK 

There is a close-up of Lammy's body lying on the streets, as she revives and
looks at Yoko's lighter, which lights up and is revealed to be the "Reverb", 
the final Effecter; and the newly-resurrected Lammy stands up and takes it 
next to PJ Berri, who has just walked away.

Lammy (to no one in particular): Thanks.

She runs off, and the scene fades to white into a flashback.

INT. PAST: STAGE DRESSING ROOM

Katy Kat has run into the dressing room wearing gym sweats.

Katy: Hey, check this out!  "Live In Concert - MILKCAN!"  That's us.

She shows the flier to Lammy in her point of view while she speaks, and Lammy
is surprised.

Ma-san (jumping around, in gibberish): (It looks great!)

Lammy (takes the flier and is saddened): Bu-bu-bu-but that's right around the 
corner!

The vision fades for a few seconds before she feels a pat on the back and gets
jumpy.

Katy: Uh-huh, that's why we have to get going right now.

Lammy sees her in relief, and the flashback fades into...

INT. PAST: KATY'S DRESSING ROOM

Katy starts trying her outfit on.

Katy: How does this look?

She is dressed up as a hula dancer with a tropical island scene that has a
tiger, before cutting to Ma-san sitting in a chair and reading a book next to
Lammy, who tries fixing a battery.

Ma-san (in gibberish): (Whatever...)

Katy: Hmm... Well, uh... What about this one?

While she speaks, she becomes dressed up as an astronaut on the moon's scenery
with aliens.

Ma-san (still reading the book): (Whatever...)

Katy: But this kind of makes me look heavy.

She changes into an artist's costume with the painting scenery while she
speaks.

Katy: You think this one's better?

Ma-san (still reading the book): (Whatever...)

Lammy suddenly plugs the battery cord into the outlet and gets shocked in 
electrocution while Ma-san doesn't seem to pay attention.  Scene cuts to a few 
minutes later, in the same room, with Katy dressed as a cowgirl, and Ma-san 
jumping behind her.

Katy: Lammy, that's it!!

Scene cuts to Lammy, with electric shock hair, while Katy speaks.  Scene then
fades into...

INT. PAST: LAMMY'S ROOM

Katy is discussing some poster art design with Lammy and Ma-san.

Katy: Hmmm... How do you make a poster?  The band's logo's gotta be really big.

Lammy looks at the logo on the table.

Lammy: Ummm... My picture doesn't have to stand out.

Katy (coming up behind her): Oh, come on!

Ma-san (asking in gibberish): (Can I put my father's shop's ad on it?)

She holds up the same poster that was shown in Stage 2, which finishes with, 
"...and please visit Papa-Ma's Chinese Pharmacy," and Lammy rips through the
flashback, ending the story.

EXT. PRESENT: PARAPPA TOWN: DOWNTOWN -- NIGHT

Night has fallen as Lammy runs through the streets in a hurry, and the camera 
pulls up to an aerial view before cutting back to some other footsteps running
through the same streets.

Lammy (O.C.): Oh, I'll bet they're all here!

Scene cuts to an aerial view of the MILKCAN Concert at...

EXT. CHOP CHOP MASTER ARENA -- NIGHT

Lammy tries opening the red-handle door, but her hand is stopped by Katy's and
Ma-san's hands.  She is surprised to find Ma-san and Katy, who have joined her
in a group.

Lammy, Katy and Ma-san (in unison): I'm really really sorry!  I got caught up 
in a lot of mess!

Scene fades to white before fading back to...

INT. CHOP CHOP MASTER ARENA: MILKCAN CONCERT STAGE

Lammy, Katy and Ma-san, in band costumes as MILKCAN, are prepared to play on 
stage.

Katy: OK, this is it.  Are you OK?

Lammy: Oh yeah.  MILKCAN is always on my mind.

Scene cuts to a purple screen with MILKCAN in preparation, followed by split-
screens of their poses before cutting to the band surrounded in a rainbow, with
Lammy and Katy high-fiving and getting in a pose.

MILKCAN (in unison): Leave it to MILKCAN!

Scene returns to the stage, with the audience cheering and rooting for them, as
the final stage song, "Got to Move", begins.

[NOTE: Once again, if you have played the Japan/PAL version of the game, skip
to "Song: Got to Move".]

~ ii. Intro B ~

INT. PAST: VOLCANO CONCERT

Teriyaki Yoko is proud of Lammy's perfect play.

Yoko (taking out the microphone): Alright.

She presses the button on the mic, and Lammy is surprised.

Yoko (O.C.): This is the supersonic transportation device, and it will send you
back to where you came from.

At once the device, which looks like a fax machine, emerges on a pedestal while
Yoko is speaking.

Lammy (relieved): Eh... OK.  Cool.

At once the number "555-212314" appears and the device lights up.  It prints
out a picture of someone who looks like Lammy, but with a darker side, who
emerges from the paper.

?????: Phew.  Is the show over?

Lammy is surprised to find her own evil self, called Rammy, standing there and 
looking angry that the show is indeed over.

Rammy: So you're the one who took my job!

She points the finger at Lammy, struggling to try to get into the device, as 
Rammy continues.

Rammy: My watch is broken, my guitar strings broke, my costume has wrinkles,
and I don't get any messages on my beeper, all because of YOU!

She shows the beeper, which beeps and says "NOTHING", and Lammy is trying to 
get in the device as fast as possible while Rammy points the finger at her 
again as she finishes.  But Lammy has just gotten in as the device beeps.

Lammy: Say what?

Rammy (shouting): Let's see who's the better guitarist!

Lammy looks at the device that has activated.

Lammy: Eh, I'm really in a hurry.  Maybe some other day!

She is pulled inside the device as she finishes speaking.

Rammy (runs up to the device): Hey, wait!  Get back here!

She tries to pull Lammy out, but it's too late, as the scene blows out, and
there is a flash of light, and Rammy's final words echo as the scene pulls into
a swirl of light and fades into...

EXT. PRESENT: PARAPPA TOWN: DOWNTOWN -- DUSK

There is a close-up of Lammy lying on the streets, still dressed up in the same
jungle camouflage as she was when she had landed on the island, yet she now has
a red backpack and a rolled-up sleeping mat on top of it; and at once she wakes
up and looks at Yoko's lighter on the floor in front of PJ Berri from "PaRappa 
the Rapper" walking on the street.  The lighter lights up and is revealed to be
the "Reverb", the final Effecter, and she gets up and takes it in her hand.

Lammy (to no one in particular): Thanks.

She runs off, and the scene fades to white into another flashback.

INT. PAST: STAGE DRESSING ROOM

Katy Kat has run into the dressing room wearing gym sweats.

Katy: Hey, check this out!  "Live In Concert - MILKCAN!"  That's us.

She shows the flier to Lammy in her point of view while she speaks, and Lammy
is surprised.

Ma-san (jumping around, in gibberish): (It looks great!)

Lammy (takes the flier and is saddened): Bu-bu-bu-but that's right around the 
corner!

The vision fades for a few seconds before she feels a pat on the back and gets
jumpy.

Katy: Uh-huh, that's why we have to get going right now.

Lammy sees her in relief, and the flashback fades into...

INT. PAST: KATY'S DRESSING ROOM

Katy starts trying her outfit on.

Katy: How does this look?

She is dressed up as a hula dancer with a tropical island scene that has a
tiger, before cutting to Ma-san sitting in a chair and reading a book next to
Lammy, who tries fixing a battery.

Ma-san (in gibberish): (Whatever...)

Katy: Hmm... Well, uh... What about this one?

While she speaks, she becomes dressed up as an astronaut on the moon's scenery
with aliens.

Ma-san (still reading the book): (Whatever...)

Katy: But this kind of makes me look heavy.

She changes into an artist's costume with the painting scenery while she
speaks.

Katy: You think this one's better?

Ma-san (still reading the book): (Whatever...)

Lammy suddenly plugs the battery cord into the outlet and gets shocked in 
electrocution while Ma-san doesn't seem to pay attention.  Scene cuts to a few 
minutes later, in the same room, with Katy dressed as a cowgirl, and Ma-san 
jumping behind her.

Katy: Lammy, that's it!!

Scene cuts to Lammy, with electric shock hair, while Katy speaks.  Scene then
fades into...

INT. PAST: LAMMY'S ROOM

Katy is discussing some poster art design with Lammy and Ma-san.

Katy: Hmmm... How do you make a poster?  The band's logo's gotta be really big.

Lammy looks at the logo on the table.

Lammy: Ummm... My picture doesn't have to stand out.

Katy (coming up behind her): Oh, come on!

Ma-san (asking in gibberish): (Can I put my father's shop's ad on it?)

She holds up the same poster that was shown in Stage 2, which finishes with, 
"...and please visit Papa-Ma's Chinese Pharmacy," and Lammy rips through the
flashback, ending the story.

EXT. PRESENT: PARAPPA TOWN: DOWNTOWN -- NIGHT

Night has fallen as Lammy runs through the streets in a hurry, and the camera 
pulls up to an aerial view before cutting back to some stranger footsteps and 
some animal running through the same streets in a hurry.

Lammy (O.C.): Oh, I'll bet they're all here!

Scene cuts to an aerial view of the MILKCAN Concert at...

EXT. CHOP CHOP MASTER ARENA -- NIGHT

Lammy tries opening the red-handle door, but her hand is stopped by two other
hands.  She is surprised to find Ma-san, now wearing a turban and spotted
Arabic dress and riding a camel, and Katy, now wearing some safari jungle gear,
hat, and backpack and looking dirty; they have now joined her in a group, as if
they had gone through the same tropical island in the past with her.

Lammy, Katy and Ma-san (in unison): I'm really really sorry!  I got caught up 
in a lot of mess!

Scene fades to white before fading back to...

INT. CHOP CHOP MASTER ARENA: MILKCAN CONCERT STAGE

Lammy, Katy and Ma-san, in band costumes as MILKCAN, are prepared to play on 
stage.

Katy: OK, this is it.  Are you OK?

Lammy: Oh yeah.  MILKCAN is always on my mind.

Scene cuts to a purple screen with MILKCAN in preparation, followed by split-
screens of their poses before cutting to the band surrounded in a rainbow, with
Lammy and Katy high-fiving and getting in a pose.

MILKCAN (in unison): Leave it to MILKCAN!

Scene returns to the stage, with the audience cheering and rooting for them, as
the final stage song, "Got to Move", begins.

~ iii. Song: Got to Move ~

The audience is cheering for MILKCAN, and Ma-san starts the song with the
drumming as Lammy and Katy start to sing in a duet.

Lammy and Katy: No cuttin' corners.
                She's on the border now.

          Katy: No shedding tears,
                Goal is real near.
                Trying to shift,
                Into gear.
                That's when I see ya comin',
                Prevent me from runnin'.
                Get up, get up trying to psych myself.
                'Cuz it doesn't work with no one else.
                
                All of this hype all around,
                Seems like, a waste of time.

                From uptown to midtown, trying to get downtown.
                But I'm not getting close, I'm just running, running 'round.

                Always at my best,
                Giving it my best.
                I don't need no rest,
                It's my test now.
                
                And I'm in a beat,
                That's very unique.
                And I know that I,
                I'm running for me.
                Got to move
                With the groove.
                I got to go on.
                I got to move on.
                I got to get on.

Lammy and Katy: No cuttin' corners.
                She's on the border now.

While the song goes on, Lammy runs up to the mosh pit and jumps into the crowd
before Katy begins the next verse.

          Katy: I'm facing all the problems that'll get me.

Lammy is playing among the crowd, accompanied by Chop Chop Master Onion from
her dream.

          Katy: 'Cuz I don't really wanna spend the time, see.

Chop Chop is replaced by Chief Puddle from the Stage 2 to cheer Lammy on while
she plays.

          Katy: All of this hype all around,
                Seems like, a waste of time.

Cathy Piller of Stage 3 appears in Puddle's place to cheer Lammy on through the
first half of Katy's lyric, followed by the normal-self Captain Fussenpepper 
from Stage 4 in the second half.

          Katy: Let me tell you, let me give everybody little something.

Paul Chuck from Stage 5 replaces Fussenpepper to cheer Lammy on too.

          Katy: In life, you just can't get going around cutting corners.

Finally, Teriyaki Yoko from the previous stage appears to dance and cheer Lammy
on as she plays before she finally joins Katy once again.

          Katy: Always at my best,
                Giving it my best.
                I don't need no rest,
                It's my test now.

                And I'm in a beat,
                That's very unique.
                And I know that I,
                I'm running for me.
                Got to move
                With the groove.
                I got to go on.
                I got to move on.
                I got to get on.

Lammy and Katy: No cuttin' corners.
                No cuttin' corners.
                She's on the border now.

As the song finishes, the audience cheers once again for a job well done, and
the MILKCAN logo is shown in close-up before pulling off to reveal the MILKCAN
band members once again.

Katy (waves at the crowd): Alright!  Wasn't that a groove?  Thanks, everyone!

Lammy and Katy make a final pose to the cheering crowd.

Lammy: Yup!  Who's my next challenger??

She waves her hands around, and the scene cuts to a glimpse of the hip-hop hero
himself, Parappa the Rapper, and Lammy's nemesis Rammy, who had come here from
Yoko's concert hideout to cheer Lammy on from among the crowds to make ends
meet.  Scene cuts to a final glimpse of MILKCAN smiling once again as the game
finally comes to a close.

***************
*3.1i. Credits*
***************

Picture of MILKCAN appears as the song "Keep Your Head Up" (vocal in the U.S.
and PAL versions, instrumental in the Japan version) plays, followed by them
running toward the MILKCAN concert, and Lammy appearing before Teriyaki Yoko
(with their appearance depending on which version of the game you played in);
Lammy on the counter of Paul Chuck; Captain Fussenpepper in strict sargent mode
pointing a finger at her on the plane; Cathy Piller vomiting at her in a crowd
of mothers and babies at the Birthmart Discounts Center; an obese Lammy running
through the streets in a hurry; Lammy and the crowd getting distracted by
roadblocks in front of Chief Puddle with the hose; Lammy looking at her alarm
clock in her bed by her room; and Lammy running to Chop Chop Master Onion on 
stage in her dream.  In the U.S. version, the last two pics will be of Teriyaki
Yoko's island hut with Jack Smash and Lammy; and her, Katy and Ma-san being 
together in island/jungle attire; in the Japan/PAL version, the final few pics
will be of Lammy, Katy and Ma-san being faced by two punks at the Chunky Burger
Restaurant, and of the trio watching "Jet Baby" in the movie theater; in either
version, either last picture will fade into the end title screen. (See the 
script part entitled "Miscellany" for more info on the song.)

Producer:
Masaya Matsuura

Visual Design:
Rodney A. Greenblat

Story and Edit:
Gabin Ito

Words and Bi-cultural Director:
RYU

Program:
Akinori Gin Maeda (SCEI)
John Belmonte
Akifumi Ishiyama
Tadashi Nomura
Yuki Takahashi

CG Director:
Kaz Dosaka
Rie Iwami

CG Production:
Kiri Matsuura
Mie Hino
Tatsunori Tanaka
Sachie Mifune

CG Production [cont.]:
Takeshi Mistumoto
Chiaki Semba
Osamu Irisawa
Akira Nishihara
Max Weintraub

CG Administration:
Tokiko Honda

Music:
Masaya Matsuura
Shige Kawagoe
Yoshihisa Susuki
Jun Yamazaki
Ryo Watanabe
Naoto Sugai

Sound Production:
Masato Ohmori (SCEI)
Hideto Ohnishi

Dance:
Haruki Horie
Junko Kusabuka

Artist Management:
Masatoshi Kikuchi (AMA)
Yaz Noya (AMA US)

Production Management:
Tomohiro Hasekura (SCEI)

Project Management:
Takafumi Fujisawa (SCEI)

Executive Producer:
Akira Sato (SCEI)


[SCEA Staff

Producer:
Susan Michele

Product Manager:
Susan Nourai

Senior Producer:
Perry Rodgers

QA Manager:
Mark Pentek

Technical Coordinator:
Neil Musser

Lead Analyst:
Jo Aragones

Asst. Lead Analyst:
Gabriel Ausiello
Joe Raposo

SCEE Staff

Producer:
Rik Skews

Product Manager:
Burgit Zich

Localisation Co-ordinator:
Elodie Hummel

QA Manager:
Geoff Rens

Head of Internal QA Testing:
Chris Rowley

QA Co-ordinator:
Jim McCabe]

(c) 1999 Sony Computer Entertainment Inc.
RGStyle TM (c) Rodney A. Greenblat/Interlink


* 3.2. SIDE QUEST: PARAPPA THE RAPPER *

**************************
*3.2a. Stage 1: On Monday*
**************************

~ i. Intro ~

INT. CHUNKY BURGER RESTAURANT

It is a nice day, and Parappa and his friends Katy Kat, PJ Berri, and Sunny
Funny are sitting at the table enjoying their lunch.

Parappa: Hey, Katy, I heard you started a band.

Katy: Uh huh.  It's a great band!

She gives him a wink.

PJ (looking at the menu): Can't we help?

Sunny: Yeah, we'd love to help!

Katy (getting an idea in thought bubbles): Hmm... It'd be nice if Sunny can 
design our costumes. Parappa, you can help us carry the equipment, buy snacks,
and give us foot massages.

Parappa (less amused): Sure.  Like always.  What about you, PJ?

PJ is still drinking, but looks at him.

PJ: I'll have a chocolate frosty and a cherry pie.

Parappa: No no no, I'm talking about Katy's live show.  What are you gonna do?

PJ (still clueless): Oh.  Then I'll have six chocolate frosties and a large
cherry pie.

Everyone feels clueless as the scene ends.

~ ii. Song: Fire Fire (Parappa) ~

A fire siren sounds the alert, and the scene cuts to the pizza guy getting the
burning pizzas out and running around before moving up to the top of the store
still in flames with the helicopter going around in circles.  The firefighters
are dancing around with Chief Puddle and Parappa with the hose as the song
begins.

        Puddle: Uh, yes, welcome to the fire.
       Parappa: Uh, yes, welcome to the fire.
        Puddle: This has been my long desire.
       Parappa: This has been my long desire.
        Puddle: Come, help me put this out.
       Parappa: Come, help me put this out.
        Puddle: Bring it down without a doubt.
       Parappa: Bring it down without a doubt.

        Puddle: Lookin' up high I see all the smoke, you better help me put 
                this out without a choke.
       Parappa: Lookin' up high I see all the smoke, you better help me put 
                this out without a choke.
        Puddle: Push the button, and just pull the chain.  Then out comes heavy
                pouring rain.
       Parappa: Push the button, and just pull the chain.  Then out comes heavy
                pouring rain.

        Crowds: (Having fun.)
        Puddle: Squirt it down lower.  Squirt it up high.
        Crowds: (With the funk.)
       Parappa: Squirt it down lower.  Squirt it up high.
        Crowds: (Having fun.)
        Puddle: Squirt it to the left, and squirt it to the right.
        Crowds: (With the funk.)
       Parappa: Squirt it to the left, and squirt it to the right.

        Puddle: Slam the water smack right on the fire, extinguish the flame 
                'cuz that's my desire.
       Parappa: Slam the water smack right on the fire, extinguish the flame 
                'cuz that's my desire.
        Puddle: Come on now, the fire's almost out, then you're on your way, 
                just leave and go about.
       Parappa: Come on now, the fire's almost out, then you're on your way, 
                just leave and go about.

Camera moves to the top of the building again.

Puddle (O.C.): We be on a role, puttin' on a show, letting people know we jam
               together.
      Parappa: We be on a role, puttin' on a show, letting people know we jam
               together.
       Puddle: Give it all you got with all your might, you better not go down
               without a fight.
      Parappa: Give it all you got with all your might, you better not go down
               without a fight.

More water is sprayed while they rap.

       Puddle: Lookin' up high I see all the smoke, you better help me put this
               out without a choke.
      Parappa: Lookin' up high I see all the smoke, you better help me put this
               out without a choke.
       Puddle: Push the button, and just pull the chain.  Then out comes heavy
               pouring rain.
      Parappa: Push the button, and just pull the chain.  Then out comes heavy
               pouring rain.

       Crowds: (Having fun.)
       Puddle: Squirt it down lower.  Squirt it up high.
       Crowds: (With the funk.)
      Parappa: Squirt it down lower.  Squirt it up high.
       Crowds: (Having fun.)
       Puddle: Squirt it to the left, and squirt it to the right.
       Crowds: (With the funk.)
      Parappa: Squirt it to the left, and squirt it to the right.

       Puddle: Slam the water smack right on the fire, extinguish the flame 
               'cuz that's my desire.
      Parappa: Slam the water smack right on the fire, extinguish the flame 
               'cuz that's my desire.
       Puddle: Come on now, the fire's almost out, then you're on your way, 
               just leave and go about.
      Parappa: Come on now, the fire's almost out, then you're on your way, 
               just leave and go about.

       Puddle: Uh, yes, welcome to the fire.
      Parappa: Uh, yes, welcome to the fire.
       Puddle: Fire's out, I'm not a liar.
      Parappa: Fire's out, I'm not a liar.

All the fire at the top of the store is put out like magic.

       Puddle: Time for lunch, yeah, I'm outta here.

The song has finished and the crowd cheers.

Puddle: OK, that was pretty good.  You can go through now.

Parappa (excited): Hoooo yeah!!

There is gladness on Parappa's face as the scene ends.

***************************
*3.2b. Stage 2: On Tuesday*
***************************

~ i. Intro ~

EXT. PARAPPA'S HOUSE -- DAY

Moving cars drive around Parappa's house and backyard pool, and the scene cuts
to...

INT. PARAPPA'S HOUSE: GARAGE

Parappa, Sunny, and PJ are discussing costume design, with Sunny showing a
turquoise dress with a purple blouse and a pink-and-orange collar.

Sunny: How's this?

Parappa (smiles): Wow!  That's cool!  Can I see it from the side?

Sunny complies and turns around halfway with the dress.

Parappa (O.C.): Hey, that's really nice.

PJ looks up from the notebook.

PJ: How about this?

He shows a picture of a stage with legs of meat and ham.

PJ: This is called 'The Yummy Yummy Beef Stage'.  Do you like?

Parappa (far from amused): Hmmm...

Sunny: I think it needs to be a little more girl-like.

PJ thinks of the meat leg in a thought bubble.

PJ: Like bite-size beef?

Parappa (breaks the thought bubble): Well, can't we just stay away from beef?

PJ (makes another thought): OK.  Pork.

The thought bubble shows a pig's head snorting as the scene ends.

~ ii. Song: Baby Baby (Parappa) ~

Parappa and Cathy Piller are inside a balloon dream in his imagined Birthmart 
Discounts Center, each holding a baby in their hand.

  Cathy: (Now put these kids to sleep, will ya!?)

The baby starts to rap.

   Baby: Ma ma ma ma, ma ma ma ma.
Parappa: Ma ma ma ma, ma ma ma ma.
   Baby: Pa pa pa pa, pa pa pa pa.
Parappa: Pa pa pa pa, pa pa pa pa.
   Baby: Gimme some milk, gimme some food.
Parappa: Gimme some milk, gimme some food.
   Baby: Gimme the car, one dat goes voom!
Parappa: Gimme the car, one dat goes voom!

  Cathy: (Now put these kids to sleep, will ya!?)

   Baby: I need to potty, or yes, I'll be naughty.
Parappa: I need to potty, or yes, I'll be naughty.
   Baby: Somebody hold me tight, somebody hug me.
Parappa: Somebody hold me tight, somebody hug me.
   Baby: Ma ma ma ma.......
Parappa: Ma ma ma ma.......
   Baby: Pa pa pa pa.......
Parappa: Pa pa pa pa.......
   Baby: Somebody come here quick.
Parappa: Somebody come here quick.
   Baby: I'm gonna start a trick.
Parappa: I'm gonna start a trick.
   Baby: Here I go.
Parappa: Here I go.
   Baby: Didn't you know?
Parappa: Didn't you know?
   Baby: I am a kid,
Parappa: I am a kid,
   Baby: With no control.
Parappa: With no control.

  Cathy: (Now put these kids to sleep, will ya!?)

   Baby: I think I'm wet.
Parappa: I think you're wet.
   Baby: I think you're next.
Parappa: I think I'm next.
   Baby: I need to go, you know.
Parappa: I need to go, you know.
   Baby: Can't hold much longer, you know.
Parappa: Can't hold much longer, you know.
   Baby: Are you the person who's [sic] name's Parappa Rappa?
Parappa: Are you the person who's [sic] name's Parappa Rappa?
   Baby: Or was it Ma ma ma ma ma ma ma?
Parappa: Or was it Ma ma ma ma ma ma ma?

  Cathy: (Now put these kids to sleep, will ya!?)

   Baby: Hey hey Papa, don't you think I'm good?
Parappa: Hey hey Papa, don't you think I'm good?
   Baby: Now can I please have my food?
Parappa: Now can I please have my food?

Cathy tosses the baby up and down.

  Cathy: (Now put these kids to sleep, will ya!?)

   Baby: Papa, can I have the toy that makes the sound?
Parappa: Papa, can I have the toy that makes the sound?
   Baby: Mama, can I have the food that taste good?
Parappa: Mama, can I have the food that taste good?
   Baby: I need to go to bed for real, mama.
Parappa: I need to go to bed for real, mama.
   Baby: But buy a toy for me before, Papa.
Parappa: But buy a toy for me before, Papa.

There is a cheer among the crowds again as the baby's rap song finishes.

Baby (feeling drowsy): I'll shut up now.  I'm sleepy... Zzz

Parappa (in a hushed tone): That was pretty good!  Nighty night, little guys.

He cuddles the sleepy baby in his arms as the scene ends.

*****************************
*3.2c. Stage 3: On Wednesday*
*****************************

~ i. Intro ~

INT. CHUNKY BURGER RESTAURANT

Parappa, PJ and Sunny are discussing something during lunch.  Just then Katy
arrives and waves them hello.

Parappa (waves back): How's everything going?

Katy: Good.  How about you guys?

She gives a wink at them.

Sunny: Great.  Look at this.

She shows the dress to Katy, who tries to grab it.

Parappa (O.C.): Hey hey.  Hey hey hey.

They soon get his attention.

Parappa (continues): So what are the other members of the band like?

Katy: Umm.  The drummer, Ma-san's got a very strong arm.

She makes a thought bubble about Ma-san playing the drums, and Parappa and PJ
have another thought bubble of a strongman bonking them on the head with 
drumsticks, followed by a vision of Lammy playing in Katy's thought bubble
while she speaks.

Katy: She's stronger than your average man.  The guitarist's name is Lammy.
She really really grabs the stage head on.

While Katy is still speaking, Parappa and PJ's thought bubble of a fat, old
strongwoman appears, and she grabs them by the neck.  Just then the bubble
fades, and both boys land back on their feet.

Katy: They'll be here soon.

Parappa (realizing this): Oh... We gotta go soon so.. ummm... Maybe some other
time.

Both boys back away while Parappa speaks, and the scene ends.

~ ii. Song: Fright Flight (Parappa) ~

The plane takes off on a cruise, and there's a split-screen between the top and
the bottom, the latter showing Parappa and Captain Fussenpepper, the strict
sargent, grooving to the beat in front of the mirror that has two dice hung on
the front for good luck.  Even the whole plane grooves to the funky guitar
beat.  This continues for a long time before Fussenpepper starts the song with 
a rap.

Fussenpepper: Set up the flaps, turn the lights, fasten your seat belts, for
              the fight!
     Parappa: Set up the flaps, turn the lights, fasten your seat belts, for
              the fight!
Fussenpepper: Get up in the morn, run around the track, show me what you got,
              Soldier!
     Parappa: Get up in the morn, run around the track, show me what you got,
              Soldier!

              [head-bonk, normal]
Fussenpepper: Did I eat my drink??
     Parappa: Did you eat your drink??
Fussenpepper: I thought milk was pink??
     Parappa: You thought milk was pink??

              [head-bonk, strict]
Fussenpepper: Auto pilot on, auto pilot off!
     Parappa: Auto pilot on, auto pilot off!
Fussenpepper: Little bit of this, little bit of that!
     Parappa: Little bit of this, little bit of that!

              [head-bonk, normal]
Fussenpepper: Just gimme your munchies.
     Parappa: Just gimme your munchies.
Fussenpepper: I wonder where lunch is?
     Parappa: I wonder where lunch is?
              [head-bonk, strict]
Fussenpepper: Wear your bullet proof vest!
     Parappa: Wear your bullet proof vest!
Fussenpepper: Always give it your best!
     Parappa: Always give it your best!
              [head-bonk, normal]
Fussenpepper: I'll miss my train.
     Parappa: You'll miss your train.
Fussenpepper: I'll miss my brain.
     Parappa: May I help you?

              [head-bonk, strict]
Fussenpepper: Set up the flaps, turn the lights, fasten your seat belts, for
              the fight!
     Parappa: Set up the flaps, turn the lights, fasten your seat belts, for
              the fight!
Fussenpepper: Get up in the morn, run around the track, show me what you got,
              Soldier!
     Parappa: Get up in the morn, run around the track, show me what you got,
              Soldier!

              [head-bonk, normal]
Fussenpepper: Bring all the food and the drinks all for me.
     Parappa: Bring all the food and the drinks all for me.
Fussenpepper: I want some apples and blueberries to eat.
     Parappa: I want some apples and blueberries to eat.

              [head-bonk, strict]
Fussenpepper: You think I'm old, you think I'm cold, I may be bold, you're
              right, I never had the gold!
     Parappa: I think you're old, I think you're cold, you may be bold, I'm
              right, you never had the gold!
Fussenpepper: But I don't care, even if I don't have hair, the only thing that
              matters in life's to take care!
     Parappa: But you don't care, even if you don't have hair, the only thing
              that matters in life's to take care!

              [head-bonk, normal while Parappa raps]
Fussenpepper: I'll miss my train.
     Parappa: You'll miss your train.
Fussenpepper: I'll miss my brain.
     Parappa: May I help you?
              [head-bonk, strict]
Fussenpepper: Throttle up, flaps down!
     Parappa: Throttle up, flaps down!
Fussenpepper: Power up, gears down!
     Parappa: Power up, gears down!
              [head-bonk, normal]
Fussenpepper: I'm losing beats.
     Parappa: You're losing beats.
Fussenpepper: I want my sheets.
     Parappa: You want your sheets.
              [head-bonk, strict]
Fussenpepper: Auto pilot on, auto pilot off!
     Parappa: Auto pilot on, auto pilot off!
Fussenpepper: Little bit of this, little bit of that!
     Parappa: Little bit of this, little bit of that!

              [head-bonk, normal]
Fussenpepper: Just gimme your munchies.
     Parappa: Just gimme your munchies.
Fussenpepper: I wonder where lunch is?
     Parappa: I wonder where lunch is?
              [head-bonk, strict]
Fussenpepper: Wear your bullet proof vest!
     Parappa: Wear your bullet proof vest!
Fussenpepper: Always give it your best!
     Parappa: Always give it your best!

              [head-bonk, normal once more]
Fussenpepper: Do you think that I'm old enough to fly, I don't know, son, I
              just wanna try.
     Parappa: Do I think that you're old enough to fly, I don't know that, you
              just wanna try.
Fussenpepper: I'm still wondering, when I die, I hope I get to eat, I hope I
              don't cry.
     Parappa: You're still wondering, when you die, you hope you get to eat,
              you hope you don't cry.

Screen returns to normal, as the plane makes it through without incident, and
there is a cheer of the crowds once more.

Fussenpepper: That was gooder than good!  Congratulations!!

Parappa: Check that out!  It's my lucky day!

There's a grin on Parappa's face as the scene ends.

*****************************
*3.2d. Stage 4: Intermission*
*****************************

~ i. Intro ~

Scene opens with an intermission with a "Joe Chin Co." logo.

Joe (V.O.): Folks!  Aren't you tired of seeing the same old commercial about
preserving nature?

The logo pulls away to the corner, and a map of the U.S.A. with trees all
around is shown, and the trees are vanishing as Joe Chin's voice speaks.

Joe (V.O.): Well, when I, Joe Chin, talk about preserving nature, I'm more
serious than a cockroach running for his life!

The words "Joe Chin Foundation for Natural Preservation" are shown while Joe's
voice continues.

Joe (V.O.): The Joe Chin Foundation for Natural Preservation was founded just
three days ago, and needs your donation.

Scene cuts to a screen that says: "Donate by Mail.  Send cash, check or your
Credit Card Directly!!!  Send to following address: Joe Chin Foundation for
National Preservation, P.O. Box JOE00, Rodney Town, JOE00.  We accept these 
cards: [three credit cards are shown at the bottom].  For more info, call toll-
free: 555-CHIN-JOE."

Joe (V.O.): Just send cash, check or your credit card to The Joe Chin
Foundation for Natural Preservation now.  And I mean NOW.

Scene fades back while the logo comes forward again and his voice finishes
before it fades to black.  Another golden logo of the same "Joe Chin Co."
appears in another intermission, with Joe's voice speaking again.

Joe (V.O.): Folks!  Aren't you tired of seeing the same old commercial about
chains?

The logo pulls away to the corner again, this time with a picture of Joe Chin
in a forest riding a bike and chasing a fleeing bug near a gold chain as his 
voice speaks.

Joe (V.O.): Well, when I, Joe Chin, talk about chains, I'm more serious than a
worm trying to escape becoming bait!  If you use these Joe Chin Brand Chains,
your bicycle will be capable of running over any kind of natural obstacles.

Scene cuts to a chainsaw with golden chains on a log while his voice still
speaks.

Joe (V.O.): Not only that, if you put these chains on to your favorite
chainsaw, you'll be able to chop down trees faster than any bulldozer has done
before.

Scene fades to a swirling picture of Joe Chin with a cape and the words that
say, "Pick one up at your local store!!"

Joe (V.O.): So pick one up at your local store now.

Scene cuts back to the logo showing up for one last time.

Joe (V.O.): I mean NOW.

The logo shines brightly as the intermission ends.

~ ii. Song: Power Off, Power On! (Parappa) ~

Scene cuts to an aerial view of the forest with Parappa and Paul Chuck 
boogeying to the beat.  Both have the Bite Me chainsaws in hands in a duel as 
he begins his song.

  Chuck: Get up, turn your chainsaw on,
Parappa: Get up, [and] turn your chainsaw on,
  Chuck: It's time to get your power back on.
Parappa: It's time to get your power back on.
  Chuck: Now let's start with this tree over here.
Parappa: Now let's start with this tree over here.
  Chuck: 'Cuz I know we need to get in high gear.
Parappa: 'Cuz I know we need to get in high gear.

As they play, one tree gets stripped of lumber.

  Chuck: Come on, hurry, I need you to hurry, I thought you're in a hurry but
         don't worry.
Parappa: Come on, hurry, I need you to hurry, I thought you're in a hurry but
         don't worry.
  Chuck: No need to worry, 'cuz I know the deal, the trees'll grow back for
         sure, that's for real.
Parappa: No need to worry, 'cuz I know the deal, the trees'll grow back for
         sure, that's for real.
  Chuck: Ain't this fun?  Having fun in the sun, I love [rockin' to the beat/
         choppin' down trees] just for fun.
Parappa: Ain't this fun?  Having fun in the sun, I love [rockin' to the beat/
         choppin' down trees] just for fun.
  Chuck: Don't forget, uh, I mean for real, my chainsaws rule with the world
         with appeal.
Parappa: Don't forget, uh, I mean for real, my chainsaws rule with the world
         with appeal.

  Chuck: NEVER USE JOE CHIN'S CHAINS FOR THEM.

The tree continues to get stripped of the lumber as the song continues.

  Chuck: Rockin' with the beat, rollin' with the heat.
Parappa: Rockin' with the beat, rollin' with the heat.
  Chuck: [Rolling up high in the sun./Choppin' down trees, just for fun.]
Parappa: [Rolling up high in the sun./Choppin' down trees, just for fun.]

The tree is now stripped to its bare bones.

  Chuck: Turn it to the side,
Parappa: Turn it to the side,
  Chuck: hold it up high.
Parappa: hold it up high.
  Chuck: Turn it up high.
Parappa: Turn it up high.
  Chuck: Hold it to the side.
Parappa: Hold it to the side.

  Chuck: We gonna make a good guitar with this wood.
Parappa: We gonna make a good guitar with this wood.
  Chuck: So give it all you got, girl, I mean for real.
Parappa: So give it all you got, girl, I mean for real.

  Chuck: Come on, hurry, I need you to hurry, I thought you're in a hurry but
         don't worry.
Parappa: Come on, hurry, I need you to hurry, I thought you're in a hurry but
         don't worry.
  Chuck: No need to worry, 'cuz I know the deal, the trees'll grow back for
         sure, that's for real.
Parappa: No need to worry, 'cuz I know the deal, the trees'll grow back for
         sure, that's for real.
  Chuck: Ain't this fun?  Having fun in the sun, I love [rockin' to the beat/
         choppin' down trees] just for fun.
Parappa: Ain't this fun?  Having fun in the sun, I love [rockin' to the beat/
         choppin' down trees] just for fun.
  Chuck: Don't forget, uh, I mean for real, my chainsaws rule with the world
         with appeal.
Parappa: Don't forget, uh, I mean for real, my chainsaws rule with the world
         with appeal.

  Chuck: NEVER USE JOE CHIN'S CHAINS FOR THEM, NO!

The tree is almost getting shaped like a guitar as the song continues.

  Chuck: Rockin' with the beat, rollin' with the heat.
Parappa: Rockin' with the beat, rollin' with the heat.
  Chuck: [Rolling up high in the sun./Choppin' down trees, just for fun.]
Parappa: [Rolling up high in the sun./Choppin' down trees, just for fun.]

The tree is now shaped like a green guitar with a red strum bar.

  Chuck: Now we come far,
Parappa: Now we come far,
  Chuck: Tell me who you are.
Parappa: Tell me who you are.
  Chuck: You must be a star,
Parappa: You must be a star,
  Chuck: let's see your guitar.
Parappa: let's see your guitar.

The tree-stripping is now done, and there is a cheer of the crowds once again.

Chuck: Hmmm, I'm impressed!  You can move on now.

Parappa (tosses away the chainsaw in jubilation): Alright!  Let's move on.

There is a smile on Parappa's face as the scene ends.

****************************
*3.2e. Stage 5: On Thursday*
****************************

~ i. Intro ~

EXT. PARAPPA TOWN -- DAY

There is a close-up of Parappa in the yellow background as the scene starts.

Parappa (points up): Hey!  Wanna start a band?

PJ: Yeah!  Rock 'n Roll!

They walk out to the Maxi-Music music store together.

INT. MAXI-MUSIC MUSIC STORE

Prince Fleaswallow from "PaRappa the Rapper" is at the counter as Parappa and
PJ arrive.

Parappa: We want an instrument that fits us right!

PJ joins him at the counter.

Parappa and PJ: Rock 'n Roll!

INT. SOUNDSTAGE

Parappa and PJ have set up the drums and other instruments, and he tests the
microphone.

Parappa: ...and-a one, two, three, four!

Scene cuts to Parappa and PJ playing wooden washboards with sticks before
stopping.

Parappa: Wai-wai-wait a minute!  That doesn't sound like Rock 'n Roll!

PJ: 'Cuz you played it funny.  Now it's my turn.

There is a smile on PJ's face as the scene ends.

~ ii. Song: Taste of Teriyaki (Parappa) ~

An audience is applauding, with Teriyaki Yoko and her back-up band members in
her concert, and Parappa is second fiddle to her, and there is a monitor shown
above.  Yoko turns around to the cheering crowd, who applauds for her, and her 
song begins with a slow, haunting jazz rap.

   Yoko: I still feel and smell your smoke and I cannot play, straight with
         your game.
Parappa: I still feel and smell your smoke and I cannot play, straight with
         your game.
   Yoko: 'Cuz I know that you're gonna behave, like a child from the world way
         up above.
Parappa: 'Cuz I know that you're gonna behave, like a child from the world way
         up above.

   Yoko: In any case, it's all up to you, if you can just show me just what you
         can do.
Parappa: In any case, it's all up to you, if you can just show me just what you
         can do.
   Yoko: I sure hope that you ain't no bluff, I've seen many many of those,
         I've had enough.
Parappa: I sure hope that you ain't no bluff, I've seen many many of those,
         I've had enough.
   
   Yoko: Somebody come and rescue me quick, or I'm gonna be the angel's next
         pick.
Parappa: Somebody come and rescue me quick, or I'm gonna be the angel's next
         pick.
   Yoko: You don't wanna see me get hurt, [my friend's/the angel's] been mean
         to me, that's for sure.
Parappa: You don't wanna see me get hurt, [my friend's/the angel's] been mean
         to me, that's for sure.

The backup singers harmonize while Yoko and Parappa rap.   

   Yoko: If I can have, have another wish, I want [a man/the devil] to join my
         next dish.
Parappa: If I can have, have another wish, I want [a man/the devil] to join my
         next dish.
   Yoko: But if I can't have another one, I'll turn my back and go on the run.
Parappa: But if I can't have another one, I'll turn my back and go on the run.

Camera pulls to a far-off view of Yoko and Parappa on the monitor while the rap
continues.

   Yoko: In any case, it's all up to you, if you can just show me just what you
         can do.
Parappa: In any case, it's all up to you, if you can just show me just what you
         can do.
   Yoko: I sure hope that you ain't no bluff, I've seen many many of those,
         I've had enough.
Parappa: I sure hope that you ain't no bluff, I've seen many many of those,
         I've had enough.
   
   Yoko: Somebody come and rescue me quick, or I'm gonna be the angel's next
         pick.
Parappa: Somebody come and rescue me quick, or I'm gonna be the angel's next
         pick.
   Yoko: You don't wanna see me get hurt, [my friend's/the angel's] been mean
         to me, that's for sure.
Parappa: You don't wanna see me get hurt, [my friend's/the angel's] been mean
         to me, that's for sure.

The backup singers harmonize again.

   Yoko: If I can have, have another wish, I want [a man/the devil] to join my
         next dish.
Parappa: If I can have, have another wish, I want [a man/the devil] to join my
         next dish.
   Yoko: But if I can't have another one, I'll turn my back and go on the run.
Parappa: But if I can't have another one, I'll turn my back and go on the run.

   Yoko: Time comes for me, for me to have fun.
Parappa: Time comes for me, for me to have fun.
   Yoko: But I don't like fun in the sun.
Parappa: But I don't like fun in the sun.
   Yoko: Talkin' 'bout no gettin' tired.
Parappa: Talkin' 'bout no gettin' tired.
   Yoko: Staying close and in the fire.
Parappa: Staying close and in the fire.
   Yoko: Nonstop and never ending.
Parappa: Nonstop and never ending.
   Yoko: Always the strong defending.
Parappa: Always the strong defending.

Parappa, shown on the monitor, has rapped perfectly in success, followed by a
smiling Yoko, and the audience cheers for them both.

Yoko: You were just as I expected.  Really good.

Parappa: Thanks a lot!  That was awesome!

He waves to the audience as the camera pulls away and the scene ends.

**************************
*3.2f. Stage 6: On Friday*
**************************

~ i. Intro ~

INT. PARAPPA'S HOUSE: GARAGE

Parappa and PJ have set up a rock band, and he holds the guitar.

Parappa: We ended up buying a guitar!

PJ (eating a doughnut): That's cool.  But it's a little too shiny.

Camera cuts to a close-up of the guitar.

Parappa (O.C.): Yeah.  And it needs to look a little more used.

PJ (O.C.): Uh huh.  Let's make it dirty.

He rubs the donut all over the guitar, covering it in gunk.

Parappa (looks at the guitar): Cool!  I'm gonna break a string right here.

He cuts off one of the guitar strings.

PJ (smiles): That's awesome!  It'd look better if I cut this part out a
little bit.

He takes out a woodcarving knife and saws off the guitar as the sawdust is
shown flying out of it.  He then looks at it.

PJ: Now that's a guitar.

Parappa is surprised as he looks at the guitar, which is now a wooden
washboard.

Parappa: Are you sure??

Parappa now plays the washboard/guitar with a stick again as it was before in
the previous stage, and the scene ends.

~ ii. Song: Got to Move (Parappa) ~

The audience is cheering for MILKCAN, and PJ starts the song with a little bit
of disc-jockeying and Ma-san starts the drumming as they start to sing.

MILKCAN: No cuttin' corners.
         She's on the border now.

   Katy: No time for tears,
Parappa: No time for tears,
   Katy: the goal is near,
Parappa: the goal is near,
   Katy: I'm trying to shift
Parappa: I'm trying to shift
   Katy: to a higher gear.
Parappa: to a higher gear.
   Katy: That's when I see, all of you comin'.
Parappa: That's when I see, all of you comin'.
   Katy: Just to, prevent me from running.
Parappa: Just to, prevent me from running.
   
   Katy: Facin' the problems that'll get me.
Parappa: Facin' the problems that'll get me.
   Katy: I don't wanna spend no time, see.
Parappa: I don't wanna spend no time, see.
   Katy: I guess all the hype that I could handle
Parappa: I guess all the hype that I could handle
   Katy: was taken care of, yes, when I was little.
Parappa: was taken care of, yes, when I was little.
   
   Katy: But let me give you, a word of advice, it seems like a waste of time
         but it's nice.
Parappa: But let me give you, a word of advice, it seems like a waste of time
         but it's nice.
   Katy: And in life, struggle will help you later, no cuttin' corners.
Parappa: And in life, struggle will help you later, no cuttin' corners.

   Katy: And I'm in a beat.
Parappa: And I'm in a beat.
   Katy: 'Cuz I got the moves.
Parappa: 'Cuz I got the moves.
   Katy: I don't need time to rest.
Parappa: I don't need time to rest.
   Katy: You know I got the groove.
Parappa: You know I got the groove.

   Katy: And I would give you my best.
Parappa: And I would give you my best.
   Katy: Running from east to west.
Parappa: Running from east to west.
   Katy: Got the moves, y'all.
Parappa: Got the moves, y'all.
   Katy: Diggin' the groove, y'all.
Parappa: Diggin' the groove, y'all.
   Katy: Hippity hop, y'all.
Parappa: Hippity hop, y'all.
   Katy: Tippity top, y'all.
Parappa: Tippity top, y'all.
   Katy: Go on.
Parappa: Go on.
   Katy: Move on.
Parappa: Move on.
   Katy: Get on.

MILKCAN: No cuttin' corners.
         She's on the border now.

While the rap goes on, Parappa runs up to the mosh pit and jumps into the crowd
before Katy begins the next verse.

   Katy: Facin' the problems that'll get me.
Parappa: Facin' the problems that'll get me.
   Katy: I don't wanna spend no time, see.
Parappa: I don't wanna spend no time, see.

While Parappa is rapping among the crowd, Chop Chop Master Onion dances to the
beat, followed by Chief Puddle from Parappa's Stage 1.
   
   Katy: All of this, hype from all around
Parappa: All of this, hype from all around
   Katy: Seems like a waste of time with big sound.
Parappa: Seems like a waste of time with big sound.

Cathy Piller of Stage 2 appears in Puddle's place to dance on to Parappa's
raps, followed by the normal-self Captain Fussenpepper from Stage 3.

   Katy: But let me give you a word of advice, it seems like a waste of time
         but it's nice.
Parappa: But let me give you a word of advice, it seems like a waste of time
         but it's nice.

Paul Chuck from Stage 4 replaces Fussenpepper to dance to Parappa's raps too.

   Katy: And in life struggle will help you later, no cuttin' corners.
Parappa: And in life struggle will help you later, no cuttin' corners.

Finally, Teriyaki Yoko from the previous stage appears to dance and cheer on to
Parappa's raps before he finally joins Katy once again.

   Katy: And I'm in a beat.
Parappa: And I'm in a beat.
   Katy: 'Cuz I got the moves.
Parappa: 'Cuz I got the moves.
   Katy: I don't need time to rest.
Parappa: I don't need time to rest.
   Katy: You know I got the groove.
Parappa: You know I got the groove.

   Katy: And I would give you my best.
Parappa: And I would give you my best.
   Katy: Running from east to west.
Parappa: Running from east to west.
   Katy: Got the moves, y'all.
Parappa: Got the moves, y'all.
   Katy: Diggin' the groove, y'all.
Parappa: Diggin' the groove, y'all.
   Katy: Hippity hop, y'all.
Parappa: Hippity hop, y'all.
   Katy: Tippity top, y'all.
Parappa: Tippity top, y'all.
   Katy: Go on.
Parappa: Go on.
   Katy: Move on.
Parappa: Move on.
   Katy: Get on.

MILKCAN: No cuttin' corners.
         No cuttin' corners.
         She's on the border now.

As the rap finishes, the audience cheers once again for a job well done, and
the MILKCAN logo is shown in close-up before pulling off to reveal Parappa and
the remaining MILKCAN band members once again.

Katy (waves at the crowd): Alright!  Wasn't that a groove?  Thanks, everyone!

PJ has finished the song as the audience cheers, and Parappa jumps for joy.

Parappa: Ah yeah, keep it groovin'!

Scene pulls away to a final glimpse of him and the remaining MILKCAN members
smiling once again as the scene cuts to another intermission.

~ iii. Outro ~

An intermission shows the phone number again: "555-CHIN-JOE", with a close-up
of some gold laptop as Joe Chin's voice begins to speak once again.

Joe (V.O.): It's grand!

A hand opens up the laptop, with the word "Grand!" appearing.

Joe (V.O.): It's big!

The hand pushes a button on the opened up laptop as the word "Big!" appears
again.

Joe (V.O.): It's huge!

The word "Huge!" appears while the voice is still speaking and the laptop's
screen is shown on the top left.  Scene cuts to Joe's face appearing on the
screen with the word "Humongous!" appearing.

Joe (V.O.): It's humongous!  The new Joe Chin Lap Top Computer is the largest
in the world.

Joe Chin's laptop sits next to a smaller green laptop while his voice is still
speaking.

Joe (V.O.): If you're looking for a BIG lap top computer, this is it.

The yellow-shirted punk from the pre-game intro appears to reach for Joe's
laptop, but gets turned red-faced while Joe's voice speaks.

Joe (V.O.): You don't need to worry about your computer getting stolen anymore!
Just send cash, check or your credit card to Joe Chin's Theft-Proof Lap Top PC.

Camera cuts to the same screen that showed at the intermission for Joe's
Foundation for Natural Preservation, but with a different name of "Joe Chin
Theft Proof Lap Top PC".

Joe (V.O.): Now, and I mean 'now'.

Scene cuts to a logo that says "Joe Chin Lap Top Computer", with Joe's image
glowing in radiance before scene cuts to...

INT. MA-SAN'S ROOM

Ma-san is standing on her big laptop computer next to posters and books,
including a poster of her, Lammy, and Katy on the MILKCAN tour.  She presses 
the buttons on her laptop keyboard for a few seconds, and her words spell out
on the screen: "Hello Mr. Mat".  She presses the buttons again but it has
malfunctioned, and at once she is angry, and lights up the fuse of dynamite on
her head.  She becomes Shin-Ma-san, grabs a drumstick next to the Japanese
lanterns, and presses the keyboard buttons on her laptop again with her
drumsticks rapidly, which makes the laptop jump up and down.  More beeps are
sounding rapidly while she keeps pressing the buttons, until the laptop goes
out of control.  In seconds, a letter is being formed and the screen scrolls
upward while she still keeps pressing the buttons, until the laptop goes into
Red Alert and quickly overheats as the screen scrolls faster and faster.  The
laptop soon overheats, and the screen breaks apart before the laptop begins to
close on her as it breaks.  She opens up the broken laptop and realizes what
she had done before the scene finally ends.


* 3.3 MISCELLANY *

*************************
*3.3a. Other Song Lyrics*
*************************

Here are the lyrics for the other songs that are used in both intermissions and
the end credits.  I hope you enjoy them.

I. TREASURE

This is the one that was played during the intro for Lammy's Stage 3: After
School Sale, and it continues on while Cathy Piller is speaking with an obese
Lammy, whom she mistakes for a pregnant teenager!  :P

Expectant Parents: Time for you and me to have a family,
                   With a baby we should live so happily.
                   Could be a boy or a girl, whichever we don't mind at all,
                   Our newborn treasure shall bring lots of love, and peace to 
                   all...
                   Uh huh.

Expectant Mothers: You can give him food, change his diapers.
Expectant Fathers: Then you can pay the bills, do the dishes.
Expectant Mothers: You can babysit.
Expectant Fathers: Only if I'm it.
Expectant Parents: Why don't we just flip a coin?
Expectant Mothers: Naw, I will do the work.
Expectant Fathers: I will be glad to work.

Expectant Parents: Time for you and me to have a family,
                   With a baby we should live so happily.
                   Could be a boy or a girl, whichever we don't mind at all,
                   Our newborn treasure shall bring lots of love, and peace to 
                   all...
                   Our newest little baby!

II. CASINO IN MY HAIR

This is the song that is played by a squirrel on a phonograph in Paul Chuck's
forest backyard during Lammy's Stage 5: You Said Anything, Didn't Ya? (and at
the beginning of Stage 6: Vital Idol).

Where's that place that comes in pairs whenever I'm aware?
Casino here, Casino there, Casino in my hair.
I wish my bear was in the air with no more time to spare.
Casino here, Casino there, Casino in my chair.

Surely, purty honey, I love you so.
If I had the money, it will be yours.
I think about the barrels spinning inside of my head.

Where's that place that comes in pairs whenever I'm aware?
Casino here, Casino there, Casino in my hair.
I wish my bear was in the air with no more time to spare.
Casino here, Casino there, Casino in my chair.

III. KEEP YOUR HEAD UP

This is the song that is played during the ending credits of the game, and sung
by Michele Burks (Katy Kat).  Of course, that is only either the abridged 
version that is heard in the U.S. and PAL versions of the game, or the 
instrumental version of the song in the Japan version.  The full version can be
found in the Um Jammer Lammy Original Soundtrack, and this is the one that I 
will put in brackets.

It was the 36th time that he broke my heart;
It was the 80th time that I'd fallen apart.
I knew from the start it was gonna be rough, 
But not as painful as this.

Once I didn't have money,
Twice I forgot his name.
Then I put on my makeup wrong.
My hair was a big mess, and so was my dress.

And I remember those nights.
I was feeling real down,
But then a chance would soon come around.

It was the 36th time that he broke my heart;
It was the 80th time that I'd fallen apart.
I knew from the start it was gonna be rough, 
But not as painful as this.

Once he asked for my number;
Twice he asked for my name.
But I was nervous and lost my mind.
I gave him a number but it was my mom's.

And I remember those nights.
I was feeling real down,
But then a chance would soon come around.

Gotta move on....
I don't know.
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.
Gotta move on, but I don't think I can carry on, no.

I couldn't go on, no, I couldn't go on.
It seemed like my life was falling apart.

It was the 36th time that he broke my heart.
Or was it 37 or 38?

[I remember way back,
When my life was laid back;
No obligations or responsibilities.
Didn't have to work on,
Didn't have no chores.
Only thing I had in mind
Was looking on each day.

Then my life was rolling;
Had to work each morning,
Paid the bills and walked the dog;
They came for daily lives.

(One more each time for you,
Way better when it's over
This is long.)

And so when pain comes along, just go with the flow.
Then turn your back to your problems, just give it a go.
Your troubles in life will eventually solve;
Yeah, it's a drop of spice in your life.

It was the 36th time that he broke my heart;
It was the 80th time that I'd fallen apart.
I knew from the start it was gonna be rough, 
But not as painful as this.

When pain comes along, just go with the flow.
Then turn your back to your problems, just give it a go.
Your troubles in life will eventually solve;
Yeah, it's a drop of spice in your life.

Keep your head up!]

***************************************
*3.3b. Cool Mode and Game Over Scripts*
***************************************

Of course, not every game is flawless in performance.  As in the "PaRappa the
Rapper" series, "Um Jammer Lammy" has a Performance Meter of four modes: Cool,
Good, Bad, and Awful.  You need to get your Performance Meter to stay at Good
Mode.  If you mess up a few times, your mode will drop to Bad, and something
bad may happen.  Mess up again, and the mode drops to Awful, when the scene
goes a bit worse.  That's why you need to perform well to get your Performance
Meter up to Good again.  If the meter dips below Awful, or if you've finished
the song on either Bad or Awful, the game is over, and you have to start over
again.  On the other hand, if you somehow manage to get the Performance Meter
to Cool Mode, something wonderful will happen: the teachers will leave you to
do your own riffs, and cool scenery will occur, and it will end either if you
mess up or if you play on through to the very end.  The following is the list 
of the Cool Mode and Game Over scenes in the script, so be careful, as there 
may be spoilers ahead.

~ i. Stage 1 ~

This stage is a "Lammy-Only" stage.  Lammy must try to repeat the song of Chop
Chop Master Onion.  If the Performance Meter gets to Bad Mode, the stage may
turn wavy for a bit.  If it dips to Awful, the MILKCAN stage will turn more and
more wavy, and the music may turn worse.  If you finished the song on Bad or
Awful Mode or the meter dips below Awful, Chop Chop will turn angry and 
collapse.

Chop Chop: Again.

Lammy (shocked): What a nightmare... Zzz...

The image turns wavy before it fades away to nothingness.

However, if you somehow manage to get the Performance Meter to Cool Mode, Chop
Chop will stop rapping.

Chop Chop: Acha?  If I'm not a star it's no fun for me.

After that, Chop Chop will knock out the walls of the MILKCAN stage, and he and
the other MILKCAN members will leave, turning the scene into an outside sunset
scenery with a boxing match arena, and Lammy will do her own riffs to rack up
points, with visions of Chop Chop included, until she either messes up and the 
meter drops down to Good Mode again, or until the song ends, at which point her
guitar turns into a vacuum cleaner, and Chop Chop's image appears to
congratulate her.

Chop Chop: Lammy, I'm so proud of you.  If it was a guitar you're holding.

Lammy (clueless): Ha?  What do you mean??

She shrugs her shoulders, as if she hasn't a clue.

~ ii. Stage 2 ~

In this stage, you must repeat the rhythm of the beats while trying to put out
the fire.  If the Performance Meter gets to Bad Mode, the flames may start to
grow intense.  If it dips to Awful, the crowds may disperse, and the flames may
grow more dangerous than before.  Again, if you finished the song on Bad or
Awful Mode or the meter dips below Awful, Chief Puddle will become extremely
disappointed.

Puddle: NO NO NO, we have to start all over again.

Lammy (shocked, drops the hose): Aw man!  I guess I do, huh...
Or:
Parappa (bows his head in defeat): Oh man!!!

However, if you did manage to get the Performance Meter to Cool Mode, Puddle
will stop singing.

Puddle: Alright!  Cool you are!!  I'm outta here!

Then he and Lammy or Parappa will spray the hose upward and separate 
themselves, leaving him or her to do their performance on top of the burning 
pizza store, which cuts to Joe Chin relaxing in a pool on top of it; at which 
point they will spray water to put out the fire, either until they mess up and 
the meter drops to Good Mode again, or until the song finishes, at that point 
when they all come down with Puddle, who is very proud.

Puddle: Hallelujah!  Ha ha ha.  You did it!!

Lammy: Thanks!  Rock 'n Roll!!
Or:
Parappa: I knew I can do it!!  Alright!!

~ iii. Stage 3 ~

In Stage 3, you must try to calm the babies down while trying to follow the
rhythm of the beats.  If the Performance Meter gets to Bad Mode, the baby/
guitar may become a little sad.  If it dips to Awful, the babies may start
making a fuss along with the baby/guitar.  If you finished the song on Bad or
Awful Mode or the meter dips below Awful, the baby singer himself will giggle,
and Cathy Piller will become disappointed.

Baby: Ihihihihi........

Lammy (shocked): Fudge!  Let me do it again.
Or:
Parappa: No no no no... Haaa.

On the other hand, if you manage to get the Performance Meter to Cool Mode, the
baby will stop singing or rapping.

Baby: I don't like this flat bug!!

Then he will disappear along with Cathy and the rest of the babies, leaving
Lammy or Parappa to perform alone amid the swirling and floating color balls
and babies, until they either mess up and the meter drops to Good Mode again,
or until the song finishes, and Cathy and the babies reappear to congratulate
them.

Baby: Ma ma... Pa pa... Zzz

Lammy (waves): Not too bad for little guys... I gotta go now.
Or:
Parappa (raises the baby up): Alrighty then!  I deserve a toy!!

~ iv. Stage 4 ~

In Stage 4, you have to help Captain Fussenpepper fly through the air without
any incident.  If the Performance Meter gets to Bad Mode, the plane may become
a little shaky and wobbly.  If it dips to Awful, the plane may shake violently
and spin out of control and in worse condtion than it was before.  If you 
finished the song in Bad or Awful Mode or if the meter dips below Awful, the 
split screen returns to normal and the plane will plummet and crash.

Fussenpepper (V.O.): Ay!  Well, let's see if we can do that again!

Scene cuts to inside the plane.

Lammy (disappointed): Again???  But I don't have time!
Or:
Parappa (disappointed): Again???  What a bummer...

On the other hand, if you did manage to get the Performance Meter to Cool Mode,
then Fussenpepper will stop alternating between normal and strict modes because
of the dropping control panel, and the split screen will move up to either
Lammy or Parappa and Fussenpepper on the plane.

Fussenpepper: WOOOH!  Who are this?  What is you??  Where are me???

The plane will then turn into a space shuttle and fly upwards from Earth, and
either Lammy or Parappa will be in spacesuits and fly around while doing 
performances of their own.  They will continue flying around planets, aliens,
spaceships, galaxies and whatnot, either till they mess up and the meter drops
to Good Mode again, or until the song finishes and they get back on the plane
that will return to Earth.

Fussenpepper (cheering): Oh my oh my!  I've never seen anybody play like that 
before!  I almost had a heart attack!

Lammy (looks down): Alright! ... Do you need an ambulance??
Or:
Parappa: Whooopie!!!  That was radical!!

~ v. Stage 5 ~

In Stage 5, you have to help Paul Chuck make a new guitar out of a tree.  If
the Performance Meter gets to Bad Mode, the tree may wobble and a pink bear may
try to attack you and the tree.  If it dips to Awful, the bear's attacks may
get more violent than before.  If you finished the song in Bad or Awful Mode or
if the meter dips below Awful, the tree will get too damaged and fall down to
the ground, and Chuck will get angry.

Chuck: I thought I said I didn't have time for jokers.

Lammy (saddened): I didn't mean to be a joker... I just wanted to move on.
Or:
Parappa: I'm not a joker... I'm just trying to groove.

He bows his head in sadness.

If, on the other hand, you have managed to get the Performance Meter to Cool
Mode, then Chuck will suddenly drop his chainsaw and shrug his shoulders.

Chuck: Woh, my chainsaw's out of gas!  See you later!!

As he speaks, he will wave Lammy or Parappa goodbye and walk away, and they
will get to do tree-carving of their own while trying hard to make a guitar,
and the bear will drop down from its tree while cheering them on, with a
butterfly and a fairy sometimes fluttering toward them.  This will continue on,
either until they mess up and the Performance Meter drops to Good Mode again,
in which Chuck will return with the chainsaw:

Chuck (returning and making a pose): I got some gas now.  I'm back!

...or until the song finishes, and Chuck will return in surprise while the bear
returns to its tree again.

Chuck: Ah ha!  WE created a pretty good guitar!!

The bear will drop down from its tree again and return.

Lammy (waves): We sure did!!  That was fun!!
Or:
Parappa: YUP!  Parappa's the name!

~ vi. Stage 6 ~

Now here's something different: in Stage 6, you have to perform well with
Teriyaki Yoko in order to: A. return to life again (Japan/PAL), or B. get back
to the present (U.S.).  If the Performance Meter gets to Bad Mode, the audience
may wobble violently and get shocked by the skeleton idols, whose thunder could
shock even you.  If it dips to Awful, then either the pit of hell may start to
burst open, or the volcano may begin to erupt, while thunder still shocks
everyone, whichever version of the game you played.  If you have finished the
song in Bad or Awful Mode or if the meter dips below Awful, then Yoko will get
angry, burst out of the magma, pit, whatever, and grow up to gigantic size.

Yoko (in a deep voice): Start all over!  You should be banned from every game.

Lammy/Lammy's Soul (shocked along with the audience): From every game??  Even 
this one?????
Or:
Parappa: But... but.... but.... ha......

He kneels down in disappointment.

If, however, you somehow manage to get the Performance Meter to Cool Mode, then
Yoko will stop singing or rapping.

Yoko: You were way too cool!  I need to reheat myself quick.

Then the audience will form some vortex or time portal that will swirl around 
in a weird mosh pit, and either Lammy or Parappa will spin and float up and 
down and do some riffs or raps of their own, either until they mess up and the 
meter drops to Good Mode again:

Yoko: Enough of that!  You need me after all.

...or until the song finishes, the audience/portal will return to the concert, 
and Yoko will be surprised, as shown on the monitor.

Yoko: I never dreamed you could play like that!  Congratulations!

Lammy/Lammy's Soul (jumping in exultation): Right???  I know I jammed!!
Or:
Parappa: Gee, thanks!  I'll never give up.

~ vii. Stage 7 ~

This is the final stage of all.  You must not fail the reunited MILKCAN as you
try to repeat the rhythm of the beats.  If the Performance Meter gets to Bad
Mode, some of the audience will leave, and the stage will start to turn dark.
If it dips to Awful, more audience members will leave, the stage will dim more
and more, and the music may start to fade.  If you finish the song in Bad or
Awful Mode or the performance meter dips below Awful, the audience will either
leave completely in or the remaining members will be disappointed.

Katy (disappointed): O, oh, I didn't expect you to do this bad.

Lammy (bows her head): Neither did I...
Or:
Parappa (bows his head): I shouldn't cut corners.

On the other hand, if you manage to somehow get the Performance Meter to Cool
Mode, then Katy will stop her song.

Katy (jumping up and down in excitement): OK, it's the performer on stage!

Then either Lammy or Parappa will jump into the crowds and do a little crowd-
surfing with their six teachers while doing riffs or raps of their own, either 
until they mess up and the meter drops to Good Mode again or until the song 
finishes with the end of the song while they are being returned to the stage
again.

MILKCAN: No cuttin' corners.
         No cuttin' corners.
         She's on the border now.

Katy (clapping her hands in midair): COOL!  We really really jammed!  Thanks to
our fabulous performer!  Thanks a lot, everybody!  Woo!

After MILKCAN does a final pose (Lammy) or PJ finishes the rap (Parappa)...

Lammy: YEAH!  We really rocked the house!!
Or:
Parappa (jumps up in joy): That's right, we gotta believe!!

Then the camera will turn to the audience backstage before moving up and away
from them.

Unfortunately, though, I have yet to find the scripts on Cool Mode Failure and
Return, so if you have found any info on what the teachers say when Lammy or 
Parappa fails and returns to Cool Mode in this stage or other stages, please 
contact me by email, okay?

********************************************
*3.3c. Lammy/Parappa Hybrids of Stage Songs*
********************************************

Now I know you have heard both Lammy's and Parappa's versions of the songs
separately (with the exception of Lammy's Stage 1), but what if you mix both
songs together?  Now you can, by unlocking the Lammy and Parappa Co-op Mode
after you complete Parappa's side-quest.  And when you complete the Lammy/
Parappa Co-op Mode, you'll unlock their Vs. Mode.  Believe it or not, both
Co-op and Vs. Modes have the mixes of each stage song together, and it can be a
lot of fun.  The following is a list of the Lammy/Parappa stage song hybrids, 
so once again, be careful, as there may be spoilers ahead.

~ i. Lammy and Parappa Stage 1: Fire Fire ~

A fire siren sounds the alert, and the scene cuts to the pizza guy getting the
burning pizzas out and running around before moving up to the top of the store
still in flames with the helicopter going around in circles.  The firefighters
are dancing around with Chief Puddle, Lammy, and Parappa with the hoses as the 
mixture between song and rap begins.

       Puddle: Let's get on, let's get on.
               This has been my long desire.
      Parappa: This has been my long desire.
       Puddle: We gotta put it out quick.
               Bring it down without a doubt.
      Parappa: Bring it down without a doubt.
        
       Puddle: [with the crowds] Hold the hose real tight and get ready for a 
               real fight.
               [solo] Push the button, and just pull the chain.  Then out comes
               heavy pouring rain.
      Parappa: Push the button, and just pull the chain.  Then out comes heavy
               pouring rain.

       Crowds: (Having fun.)
       Puddle: I've been doing this for years, let me tell you a little 
               something.
       Crowds: (With the funk.)

Both Lammy and Parappa start to put out the fire with the hose.

       Crowds: (Having fun.)
       Puddle: Squirt it to the left, and squirt it to the right.
       Crowds: (With the funk.)
      Parappa: Squirt it to the left, and squirt it to the right.

       Puddle: Put it on the fire, real good, put it out cold and feel good.
               Come on now, the fire's almost out, then you're on your way, 
               just leave and go about.
      Parappa: Come on now, the fire's almost out, then you're on your way, 
               just leave and go about.

Camera moves to the top of the building again.

Puddle (O.C.): We be on a role, puttin' on a show, lettin' people know we're 
               like, no other.

Camera moves back to Puddle after she plays.

       Puddle: Give it all you got with all your might, you better not go down
               without a fight.
      Parappa: Give it all you got with all your might, you better not go down
               without a fight.

       Puddle: [with the crowds] Hold the hose real tight and get ready for a 
               real fight.
               [solo] Push the button, and just pull the chain.  Then out comes
               heavy pouring rain.
      Parappa: Push the button, and just pull the chain.  Then out comes heavy
               pouring rain.

       Crowds: (Having fun.)
       Puddle: I've been doing this for years, let me tell you a little 
               something.
       Crowds: (With the funk.)

Lammy and Parappa do the same as before.

       Crowds: (Having fun.)
       Puddle: Squirt it to the left, and squirt it to the right.
       Crowds: (With the funk.)
      Parappa: Squirt it to the left, and squirt it to the right.

       Puddle: Put it on the fire, real good, put it out cold and feel good.
               Come on now, the fire's almost out, then you're on your way, 
               just leave and go about.
      Parappa: Come on now, the fire's almost out, then you're on your way, 
               just leave and go about.

       Puddle: Let's get on, let's get on.
               Fire's out, I'm not a liar.
      Parappa: Fire's out, I'm not a liar.

All the fire at the top of the store is put out like magic.

       Puddle: Time for lunch, yeah, I'm outta here.

~ ii. Lammy and Parappa Stage 2: Baby Baby ~

Lammy, Parappa and Cathy are inside a balloon dream in their imagined Birthmart
Discounts Center, each holding a baby in their hand.

  Cathy: (Now put these kids to sleep, will ya!?)

The baby starts to do the song/rap hybrid.

   Baby: Ma ma ma ma, ma ma ma ma, ma ma ma ma, ma ma ma ma.
         Pa pa pa pa, pa pa pa pa.
Parappa: Pa pa pa pa, pa pa pa pa.
   Baby: Gimme some milk, gimme some food.
         Gimme the car, one dat goes voom!
Parappa: Gimme the car, one dat goes voom!

  Cathy: (Now put these kids to sleep, will ya!?)

   Baby: I need to potty, or I'll be real naughty.
         Somebody hold me tight, somebody hug me.
Parappa: Somebody hold me tight, somebody hug me.
   Baby: Ma ma ma ma, ma ma.
         Pa pa pa pa.......
Parappa: Pa pa pa pa.......
   Baby: Somebody come over quick.
         I'm gonna start a trick.
Parappa: I'm gonna start a trick.
   Baby: 'Cuz here I go.
         Didn't you know?
Parappa: Didn't you know?
   Baby: I am a kid,
         With no control.
Parappa: With no control.

  Cathy: (Now put these kids to sleep, will ya!?)

   Baby: I think my diaper is wet.
         I think you're next.
Parappa: I think I'm next.
   Baby: I wanna go, I need to go now.
         Can't hold much longer, you know.
Parappa: Can't hold much longer, you know.
   Baby: You are the person who's #$%^&! [ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba]
         Or was it Ma ma ma ma ma ma ma?
Parappa: Or was it Ma ma ma ma ma ma ma?

  Cathy: (Now put these kids to sleep, will ya!?)

   Baby: Hey hey Papa, I been good.
         Now can I please have my food?
Parappa: Now can I please have my food?

Cathy tosses the baby up and down.

  Cathy: (Now put these kids to sleep, will ya!?)

   Baby: Papa, can I go and have the toy that make that funny sound-a?
         Mama, can I have the food that taste good?
Parappa: Mama, can I have the food that taste good?
   Baby: I wanna go to bed right now, mama.
         But buy a toy for me before, Papa.
Parappa: But buy a toy for me before, Papa.

~ iii. Lammy and Parappa Stage 3: Fright Flight ~

The plane takes off on a cruise, and there's a split-screen between the top and
the bottom, the latter showing Lammy and Parappa on pilot's seats and Captain 
Fussenpepper, who has become a strict sargent again, grooving to the beat in 
front of the mirror that has two dice hung on the front for good luck.  Even 
the whole plane grooves to the heavy metal/funky rap hybrid beat.  This 
continues for a long time before Fussenpepper starts the song with a bark.

Fussenpepper: Look up in the sky, gimme all you got, never give it up, Soldier!
              Get up in the morn, run around the track, show me what you got,
              Soldier!
     Parappa: Get up in the morn, run around the track, show me what you got,
              Soldier!

              [head-bonk, normal]
Fussenpepper: Did I eat my drink??
              I thought milk was pink??
     Parappa: You thought milk was pink??

              [head-bonk, strict]
Fussenpepper: Auto pilot on, auto pilot off!
              Little bit of this, little bit of that!
     Parappa: Little bit of this, little bit of that!

              [head-bonk, normal]
Fussenpepper: Now do you like munchies?
              I wonder where lunch is?
     Parappa: I wonder where lunch is?
              [head-bonk, strict]
Fussenpepper: 1 2, 3 4, 5 6!
              Always give it your best!
     Parappa: Always give it your best!
              [head-bonk, normal]
Fussenpepper: My knee's in pain.
              I'll miss my brain.
     Parappa: May I help you?

              [head-bonk, strict]
Fussenpepper: Look up in the sky, gimme all you got, never give it up, Soldier!
              Get up in the morn, run around the track, show me what you got,
              Soldier!
     Parappa: Get up in the morn, run around the track, show me what you got,
              Soldier!

              [head-bonk, normal]
Fussenpepper: I thought I just made some coffee for me.
              I want some apples and blueberries to eat.
     Parappa: I want some apples and blueberries to eat.

              [head-bonk, strict]
Fussenpepper: Now it's time to move on, it only gets much harder so carry on!
              But I don't care, even if I don't have hair, the only thing that
              matters in life's to take care!
     Parappa: But you don't care, even if you don't have hair, the only thing
              that matters in life's to take care!

              [head-bonk, normal while Parappa raps]
Fussenpepper: My knee's in pain.
              I'll miss my brain.
     Parappa: May I help you?
              [head-bonk, strict]
Fussenpepper: Throttle up, flaps down!
              Power up, gears down!
     Parappa: Power up, gears down!
              [head-bonk, normal]
Fussenpepper: I'm getting sleepy...
              I want my sheets.
     Parappa: You want your sheets.
              [head-bonk, strict]
Fussenpepper: Auto pilot on, auto pilot off!
              Little bit of this, little bit of that!
     Parappa: Little bit of this, little bit of that!

              [head-bonk, normal]
Fussenpepper: Now do you like munchies?
              I wonder where lunch is?
     Parappa: I wonder where lunch is?
              [head-bonk, strict]
Fussenpepper: 1 2, 3 4, 5 6!
              Always give it your best!
     Parappa: Always give it your best!

              [head-bonk, normal once more]
Fussenpepper: In the old days I was a hero but look at me, I'm learning just
              how to fly.
              I'm still wondering, when I die, I hope I get to eat, I hope I
              don't cry.
     Parappa: You're still wondering, when you die, you hope you get to eat,
              you hope you don't cry.

~ iv. Lammy and Parappa Stage 4: Power Off, Power On! ~

Scene cuts to an aerial view of the forest with Lammy, Parappa and Paul Chuck 
boogeying to the beat.  All three have the Bite Me chainsaws in hands as he 
begins his song/rap hybrid.

  Chuck: Get up, turn your chainsaw on.
         It's time to get your power back on.
Parappa: It's time to get your power back on.
  Chuck: Now let's start with this tree here.
         'Cuz I know we need to get in high gear.
Parappa: 'Cuz I know we need to get in high gear.

As they play, one tree gets stripped of lumber.

  Chuck: Come on, hurry, hurry, hurry hurry hurry.
         No need to worry, 'cuz I know the deal, the trees'll grow back for
         sure, that's for real.
Parappa: No need to worry, 'cuz I know the deal, the trees'll grow back for
         sure, that's for real.

  Chuck: All I wanna hear is you've come over here.  There's no foolin' around
         with deers.
         Don't forget, uh, I mean for real, my chainsaws rule with the world
         with appeal.
Parappa: Don't forget, uh, I mean for real, my chainsaws rule with the world
         with appeal.

  Chuck: NEVER USE JOE CHIN'S CHAINS FOR THEM.

The tree continues to get stripped of the lumber as the song continues.

  Chuck: Rockin' to the beat of the sun.
         [Rolling up high in the sun./Choppin' down trees, just for fun.]
Parappa: [Rolling up high in the sun./Choppin' down trees, just for fun.]

The tree is now stripped to its bare bones.

  Chuck: We gonna make a good guitar,
         hold it up high.
Parappa: hold it up high.
  Chuck: Come on, girl,
         Hold it to the side.
Parappa: Hold it to the side.

  Chuck: OK, turn it down, turn it up.
         So give it all you got, girl, I mean for real.
Parappa: So give it all you got, girl, I mean for real.

  Chuck: Give it all you got, every little muscle that you got inside your 
         little bo, body!
         No need to worry, 'cuz I know the deal, the trees'll grow back for
         sure, that's for real.
Parappa: No need to worry, 'cuz I know the deal, the trees'll grow back for
         sure, that's for real.

  Chuck: All I wanna hear is you've come over here.  There's no foolin' around
         with deers.
         Don't forget, uh, I mean for real, my chainsaws rule with the world
         with appeal.
Parappa: Don't forget, uh, I mean for real, my chainsaws rule with the world
         with appeal.

  Chuck: NEVER USE JOE CHIN'S CHAINS FOR THEM, NO!

The tree is almost getting shaped like a guitar as the song continues.

  Chuck: Jammin', hard slammin', loud banging.
         [Rolling up high in the sun./Choppin' down trees, just for fun.]
Parappa: [Rolling up high in the sun./Choppin' down trees, just for fun.]

The tree is now shaped like a green guitar with a red strum bar.

  Chuck: Now that we come so far
         Tell me who you are.
Parappa: Tell me who you are.
  Chuck: Are you my shining star?
         Let's see your guitar.
Parappa: Let's see your guitar.

~ v. Lammy and Parappa Stage 5: Taste of Teriyaki ~

An audience is applauding, with Teriyaki Yoko and her back-up band members in
her concert, and both Lammy and Parappa are second fiddles to her, and there is
a monitor shown above.  Yoko turns around to the cheering crowd, who applauds 
for her, and her weird bubblegum pop/haunting slow jazz rap hybrid begins.

   Yoko: I know you're the wild and violent flame.
         'Cuz I know that you're gonna behave, like a child from the world way
         up above.
Parappa: 'Cuz I know that you're gonna behave, like a child from the world way
         up above.
   Yoko: That doesn't mean, that I am yours, I'm not alone, I'm not a fool, I 
         have a lot to give.
         I sure hope that you ain't no bluff, I've seen many many of those,
         I've had enough.
Parappa: I sure hope that you ain't no bluff, I've seen many many of those,
         I've had enough.

   Yoko: It might be you, or maybe you, my mind is jumping back and forth and 
         up and down.
         You don't wanna see me get hurt, [my friend's/the angel's] been mean
         to me, that's for sure.
Parappa: You don't wanna see me get hurt, [my friend's/the angel's] been mean
         to me, that's for sure.

   Yoko: I only wanted you to, come over here, 'cuz I can think of something 
         for me and you to do.

The back-up singers are harmonizing while Lammy strums her guitar well before
the music switches to the haunting jazz rap.

   Yoko: But if I can't have another one, I'll turn my back and go on the run.
Parappa: But if I can't have another one, I'll turn my back and go on the run.

Camera pulls to a far-off view of Yoko, Lammy and Parappa on the monitor while 
the bubblegum pop/haunting jazz rap hybrid continues.

   Yoko: I wanna be a girl, that has a lot to give, never caught alone, never
         shedding tears.
         I sure hope that you ain't no bluff, I've seen many many of those,
         I've had enough.
Parappa: I sure hope that you ain't no bluff, I've seen many many of those,
         I've had enough.

   Yoko: It might be you, or maybe you, my mind is jumping back and forth and 
         up and down.
         You don't wanna see me get hurt, [my friend's/the angel's] been mean
         to me, that's for sure.
Parappa: You don't wanna see me get hurt, [my friend's/the angel's] been mean
         to me, that's for sure.

   Yoko: I only wanted you to, come over here, 'cuz I can think of something 
         for me and you to do.

The back-up singers harmonize again, while Lammy tries to keep up with the
strumming before the music switches to the haunting jazz rap again.

   Yoko: But if I can't have another one, I'll turn my back and go on the run.
Parappa: But if I can't have another one, I'll turn my back and go on the run.

   Yoko: Oh I do hope that the, that the time comes.
         But I don't like fun in the sun.
Parappa: But I don't like fun in the sun.
   Yoko: I'm talking 'bout a lot of fire.
         Staying close and in the fire.
Parappa: Staying close and in the fire.
   Yoko: Forever and ever.
         Always the strong defending.
Parappa: Always the strong defending.

~ vi. Lammy and Parappa Stage 6: Got to Move ~

The audience is cheering for MILKCAN and Parappa, and PJ starts the song with a
little bit of disc-jockeying and Ma-san starts the drumming as they start to 
sing.

MILKCAN: No cuttin' corners.
         She's on the border now.

   Katy: No shedding tears,
         the goal is near,
Parappa: the goal is near,
   Katy: Trying to shift,
         to a higher gear.
Parappa: to a higher gear.
   Katy: That's when I see ya comin',
         Just to, prevent me from running.
Parappa: Just to, prevent me from running.

   Katy: Get up, get up trying to psych myself.
         I don't wanna spend no time, see.
Parappa: I don't wanna spend no time, see.
   Katy: All of this hype all around,
         was taken care of, yes, when I was little.
Parappa: was taken care of, yes, when I was little.

   Katy: From uptown to midtown, trying to get downtown.
         And in life, struggle will help you later, no cuttin' corners.
Parappa: And in life, struggle will help you later, no cuttin' corners.

   Katy: Always at my best,
         'Cuz I got the moves.
Parappa: 'Cuz I got the moves.
   Katy: I don't need no rest,
         You know I got the groove.
Parappa: You know I got the groove.

   Katy: And I'm in a beat,
         Running from east to west.
Parappa: Running from east to west.
   Katy: And I know that I,
         Diggin' the groove, y'all.
Parappa: Diggin' the groove, y'all.
   Katy: Got to move
         Tippity top, y'all.
Parappa: Tippity top, y'all.
   Katy: I got to go on.
         Move on.
Parappa: Move on.
   Katy: I got to get on.

MILKCAN: No cuttin' corners.
         She's on the border now.

While all of this song/rap hybrid goes on, Lammy and Parappa run up to the mosh
pit and jump into the crowd before Katy begins the next verse.

   Katy: I'm facing all the problems that'll get me.

Lammy is playing among the crowd, accompanied by Chop Chop Master Onion from
her dream.

   Katy: I don't wanna spend no time, see.
Parappa: I don't wanna spend no time, see.

Parappa switches places with Lammy while Chief Puddle of their Stage 1 hybrid
replaces Chop Chop to dance to the groove.

   Katy: All of this hype all around,
         Seems like a waste of time with big sound.
Parappa: Seems like a waste of time with big sound.

During Katy's first part, Lammy makes her switch back while Cathy Piller of the
Stage 2 hybrid replaces Puddle; and during the second part of the verse Parappa
switches back from Lammy while the normal Captain Fussenpepper of the Stage 3
hybrid replaces Cathy to dance to the hybrid beat.

   Katy: Let me tell you, let me give everybody little something.

Paul Chuck from the Stage 4 hybrid replaces Fussenpepper to cheer on Lammy, who
has switched places with Parappa.

   Katy: And in life struggle will help you later, no cuttin' corners.
Parappa: And in life struggle will help you later, no cuttin' corners.

Parappa switches places with Lammy one last time while Teriyaki Yoko from the
previous stage hybrid replaces Chuck to dance to the beat once again.  Finally,
our two heroes return to the stage for one more chorus with Katy.

   Katy: Always at my best,
         'Cuz I got the moves.
Parappa: 'Cuz I got the moves.
   Katy: I don't need no rest,
         You know I got the groove.
Parappa: You know I got the groove.

   Katy: And I'm in a beat,
         Running from east to west.
Parappa: Running from east to west.
   Katy: And I know that I,
         Diggin' the groove, y'all.
Parappa: Diggin' the groove, y'all.
   Katy: Got to move
         Tippity top, y'all.
Parappa: Tippity top, y'all.
   Katy: I got to go on.
         Move on.
Parappa: Move on.
   Katy: I got to get on.

MILKCAN: No cuttin' corners.
         No cuttin' corners.
         She's on the border now.


# 4. Differences Between the U.S. and Japan/PAL Versions #

Now that you have played Um Jammer Lammy, I have to ask you one thing: Did you
ever play the game in the U.S. about 10 years ago when you were little and yet 
not realize that it is the censored version of the original one?  :P Well, for
those of you who have read the script, I will now explain in detail why the
U.S. version of the game is very different from the Japan or PAL versions, in
order from Lammy to Parappa.  Here's my terminology to help you out:

U.S.: Applies to the U.S. version.
Orig.: Original, applies to both the Japan and PAL versions.

So let's start off with...

I. LAMMY: STAGE 1

So far, nothing new to the game.  However, check out the song "I Am a Master,
and You".  Sure, you may think, "Well, it's nothing different in the song."
However, check out Chop Chop's third verse that I described above in the
"Script: Lammy's Story" section.  In this verse, he sings, "Shake it to the
right, shake it to the left. / I be the only masta that will give / all the
necessary skills to build a guitar..."  However, there is a slight lyrical
difference at the end of the verse in both versions of the song:

 U.S.: So you can play in an island, you come far!
Orig.: So you can play in hell, you come far!

The reason for this difference?  Simple.  After the Stage 6 storyline was
thought up and rewritten due to U.S. censorship rules regarding religious and
violent issues, the Stage 1 song lyric was rewritten in order to reflect the
new, altered Stage 6 storyline to let children in the U.S. know that the song
and the game are deemed as safe.  Oh, and Ryu Watabe was summoned to reprise
his role as Chop Chop in the song.  Pretty simple, huh?  Anyways, moving right
along...

II. LAMMY: STAGE 5

Again, nothing new to the game or its storyline.  However, check out the song
"Power Off, Power On!" and you'll see what I mean.  You may be surprised that
the song contains not one, but two (I repeat, TWO!) lyrical differences in
both versions:

1.
 U.S.: Come on and get down, way single one down.  Then we're gonna make a good
       guitar with all the timber around.
Orig.: Chop all of 'em down, every single one down.  Then we're gonna make a
       good guitar with all the timber around.

2.
 U.S.: Knowin' that we're here for the fun.
Orig.: Choppin' trees down for the fun.

Reason for these differences?  In the original version, Lyric #1 asked Lammy to
chop all these trees down so they can "make a good guitar with all the timber
around"; and Lyric #2 applied to "choppin' trees down for the fun".  As if that
wasn't enough, surprise!  Lyric #1 is repeated again, with the same old tree-
chopping line.  Both lyrics strongly implied deforestation and illegal logging
and were considered too damaging for Mother Nature, which may have counted as
"Violent References" under the ESRB of the U.S.  And I suppose the game should
have come with a funny disclaimer, "No trees or animals were harmed in the
making of this game," but no!  Instead, Sony Computer Entertainment of America
and NanaOn-Sha were asked to rewrite the song lyrics, probably because they
must have seen the heavy damage of the Amazon Rainforest in South America on TV
and didn't want the children to repeat the same destruction to happen to
forests everywhere.  Either that, or they must have read the Dr. Seuss poem
"The Lorax" to teach children what happens to forests and habitats during
deforestation and illegal logging, or something.  :P  Either way, whatever the
reason, SCEA and NanaOn-Sha happily complied, and had Everett Bradley reprise
his role in the toned-down song as Paul Chuck again.  But that's not all to
this story, so, moving right along...

III. LAMMY: STAGE 6

Now here's the controversial stage with a script difference!  A MAJOR script
difference!  And a HUGE one at that!  And it all starts with the first part of
the stage.  In fact, to quote Stan in the South Park episode "Fantastic Easter
Special", somewhere between Lammy getting the Distortion Effecter and leaving
the Guitar Store and her being led to Teriyaki Yoko by Jack Smash, there seems
to be a huge gap of story information that I'm trying to bridge because of one
thing: *coughU.S.censorshipcough*  Anyway, let's start off with the first part.
In the original version of Stage 6, Lammy runs out of the store while avoiding
collision by cars in the street, only to slip on a banana peel left by PJ Berri
and get sent flying in mid-air; she then falls and crashes head-first onto the
pavement with a "BAM!", breaks her neck, and succumbs in the impact.
Afterwards, her soul ends up in hell, and feels that, if she is dead, the game
would have been over by now.  And it would have been, if not for the fact that
Jack has mistaken her for her dark self, Rammy, the "chosen guitarist" of hell,
and stops the fake end credits and the sad song that plays in them before he
takes her to Teriyaki Yoko.  The U.S. version, however, is another story: As
Lammy leaves the guitar store, her belt gets caught up in its doorknob, which
slows her down, before the belt and the doorknob act as a catapult in flinging
her upwards into the sky... and backwards in time, flying into previous stages
along the way, eventually ending up at her apartment where she started before
exiting and flying onto a tropical island, crash-landing in the sand in front
of its jungle hut (complete with tiki statues and palm trees) near the pagoda-
shaped sign that says that Teriyaki Yoko's concert is being performed live
tonight; immediately, the same Jack Smash mistakes her for Rammy, the "chosen
guitarist", grabs her by the hand, and leads her away to Yoko.  

The only similar, yet different, plots remain in both versions: in the original
version, Lammy screams only once after slipping on the banana peel and falling 
in slow-motion before a "BAM!" occurs; in the U.S. version, she screams while 
flying, then pauses and says, "My house," then screams again before falling in 
normal motion before crash-landing with the same "BAM!", which is accompanied 
by her "Ouch!" (which is missing from the original version)  In the original 
script, which is missing from the U.S. version, she wakes up and says, "Phew.  
It was a dream," before getting up and wandering around, saying, "Am I... dead?
Is this hell?  If... if I am dead, then the game's over!  What a stupid game!!"
before Jack Smash appears (as his name shows in the fake end credits); in the
U.S. version, after she lands on the island, she gets up and looks around for a
short time, but says nothing before Jack appears immediately.  In the original,
fake end credits are shown revealing the names of the previous stages and
teachers she has beaten after she has discovered she is in hell; in the U.S.
one, she is flown into previous teachers she had beaten *before* she lands on
the island, though Chop Chop is excluded from the original version.  The only 
thing excluded in the U.S. version, however, is the fake end credits.  Gone, 
too, is the fourth-wall breaker, when Lammy believes the game is over if she is
dead, and when Jack stops the fake end credits that reveal his name and says, 
"Not yet!  Not yet!" before he leads her to Teriyaki Yoko (though the fourth-
wall breaker still appears in the Stage 6 Game Over script).  And here is the 
reason why I listed the Lammy of the Stage 6 Intro A as "Lammy's Soul" in the 
"Script: Lammy's Story" section: it not only resembles the spirit of the 
recently deceased Lammy in the original one, but it distinguishes her from the 
Lammy of the revised Stage 6 with a difference -- her clothing is changed into 
a jungle camouflage wardrobe design, giving her a new tropic island feel.  
Maybe I should have called the Lammy of the Stage 6 Intro B "Camo Lammy"!  XD  
But moving right along...

Part 2 of the Stage 6 Intro shows a concert held by Teriyaki Yoko, who sees
Lammy get tossed onstage, mistakes her for Rammy, and blames her for "coming in
this late", telling her that Yoko should not be underestimated just because
she's an idol.  This is where the difference in dialogue between both versions
occurs:

_________________________________________________________
| Speaker |    U.S. Dialogue     |    Orig. Dialogue    |
|-------------------------------------------------------|
| Jack    | 1. C'mon, it's time  | 1. C'mon, it's time  |
|         |    to do it!         |    to do it!         |
|         |                      |                      |
| Yoko    |                      | 2. I'm gonna kill    |
|         |                      |    you!              |
|         |                      |                      |
| Lammy   | 2. Um, no no no!     | 3. Eh, I think I'm   |
|         |    You see, I was on |    dead already.     |
|         |    my way to my own  |                      |
|         |    show, but I ended |                      |
|         |    up here.          |                      |
|         |                      |                      |
| Yoko    | 3. How did that      | 4. Then I'll put you |
|         |    happen!?          |    back to life!     |
|         |    Anyways, I'll     |                      |
|         |    help you get to   |                      |
|         |    where you're      |                      |
|         |    going.            |                      |
|         |                      |                      |
| Lammy   | 4. Really?  Can you  | 5. Really?  Can you  |
|         |    really do that?   |    really do that?   |
---------------------------------------------------------

Notice that there is a gap in Yoko's dialogue in the U.S. version which is
missing from the original before Lammy's dialogue in the chart shown above.  In
the original version, Yoko picks up Lammy's guitar and makes a death threat at
her before she realizes that Lammy is not Rammy but one who is recently
deceased.  Upon hearing Lammy's plight, Yoko makes a deal that she will bring 
Lammy back from the dead.  In the U.S. version, however, Yoko makes no death 
threat at Lammy, but she does have Lammy's guitar pointed at her, probably as a
non-verbal threat.  Upon hearing Lammy's quick explanation that she is not 
Rammy but one who is sent back in time here by accident, Yoko is surprised at 
the news of her plight and wonders how the time-travelling incident happened.  
She then makes a deal that she will help Lammy get back to the present.  Both 
versions have Yoko's deal end with a bargaining promise to Lammy: "Yeah, only 
if you play right!", before handing the guitar back to Lammy and starting the 
show. (Oh, and notice how Lammy's voice explanation before the deal in the U.S.
version sounds more energetic than in the original version, which sounds a bit 
weak, IMO.  :D )

Now we get to the song, "Taste of Teriyaki".  So far, there is nothing
different, and there seems to be no incident between both versions (although
the word "angel" is kept intact throughout the song, yet why it is kept for one
thing other than religion is beyond me :P) so the song may be safe, right?
Wrong.  Actually, there is one slight lyrical difference in both versions of
the song:

 U.S.: If I can have another, another dream, somebody would come back to pick
       me up with you.
Orig.: If I can have another, another dream, the devil would come back to pick
       me up with you.

And the reason for all these differences in both the controversial stage and
song?  Well, to make a long story short, seeing that the original version of 
the stage had a darker tone and humor, the U.S. didn't want children to play a 
game that would make them sad at the tragic loss of its protagonist, allow them
to use foul language or worship the devil, or let them get into problematic
issues with religion or cults, using religion to get extremist or get into 
wrong paths or whatnot; so SCEA and NanaOn-Sha had to ditch the whole thing 
involving hell and the devil by rewriting a replacement storyline that involves
a tropical island and time-travel to fit the summertime vacation while keeping
the Teriyaki Yoko concert idea; changing Lammy's normal clothing from the 
original version to create a tropic island/jungle feel fit for her; rewriting 
the song lyrics so that they no longer involve devil-worship; having the game's
voice actors reprise their roles in both the toned-down stage and song; and 
making "Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey" seem more like "Bill and Ted's Excellent 
Adventure"!  :P  However, that's not all for Lammy's story, as there is still 
one more stage left to do...

IV. LAMMY: STAGE 7

So far, the storyline is the same in both versions: Yoko summons the 
"supersonic transportation device" that will send Lammy back to where she came 
from, only to see Lammy's dark self, Rammy, emerge from the device, which is
more like a fax machine to me!  :P  Anyways, Rammy blames her on her troubles
and demands a rematch, but Lammy has already gotten onto the device and escapes
from her and from Teriyaki Yoko's place.  In either way, she is sent back to
earth to discover that the Reverb Effecter had been left on the floor, and she
takes it and runs to the Chop Chop Master Arena (while getting flashbacks to
how MILKCAN formed), only to discover that Katy and Ma-san are running to the
concert at the same time.  With the three reunited, they apologize to each
other for getting themselves "into a lot of mess."  While the storyline and
dialogue are sometimes similar or the same in both versions, only the stage
directions and appearance are different.  

In the original storyline, Lammy escapes from hell and is resurrected via fax 
machine, and as she runs to the concert, she is surprised to find Katy and 
Ma-san have arrived at the same time.  In the U.S. version, however, there is a
difference: Lammy makes her getaway from the island and is brought back to the 
present via same fax machine with one difference -- she is still dressed in the
same jungle camouflage as she was before, yet she now has a red backpack and a 
sleeping mat when she wakes up to find that she has gone to the present.  When 
she runs to the MILKCAN concert at the Chop Chop Master Arena, however, there 
are now even stranger footsteps and the footsteps of a camel running through 
the streets at the same time; and when she reaches for the door, she is 
surprised to find that Ma-san is now wearing a turban and Arabic garb and 
riding a camel, and that Katy is now wearing safari jungle gear and looking 
dirty.  The reason for the difference: After the Stage 6 storyline was 
rewritten due to U.S. censorship issues, SCEA and NanaOn-Sha are wondering 
whether they should change Lammy's clothing back to normal or keep her 
camouflage wardrobe.  Then they decided that they wanted to make it into a 
twist ending with a surprise, so they kept Lammy's camo wardrobe, but now had 
her equipped with a backpack and sleeping mat to make it more like she's in the
jungle.  To make it more of a surprise, they changed the appearances of Katy 
and Ma-san by changing the former's normal clothing into a safari jungle outfit
complete with a backpack; and changing the latter's normal red dress into a 
yellow-spotted red Arabic dress, replacing her dynamite hat with a turban, and 
elevating her high above Katy and Lammy by putting her on a camel.  Both 
appearances are redesigned to not only give them a more jungle or desert feel,
but also to make them look as if they had gone through the same tropical island
in the past with Lammy!  Now that's a new surprise not seen in the original
version!  :D

However, that's not all to the game.  Now we move on to the Parappa the Rapper
side-quest.

V. PARAPPA: STAGE 4

Now here's another stage that is similar to Lammy's Stage 5, in that the same
Paul Chuck is back.  And once again, like in said stage, this song has two
lyrical differences in both versions:

1.
 U.S.: Ain't this fun?  Having fun in the sun, I love rockin' to the beat just
       for fun.
Orig.: Ain't this fun?  Having fun in the sun, I love choppin' down trees just
       for fun.

2.
 U.S.: Rolling up high in the sun.
Orig.: Choppin' down trees, just for fun.

Notice that in Parappa's version of "Power Off, Power On!" these two lyrics are
repeated again!  And the reason for these differences is that both lyrics
strongly implied deforestation in the original version.  Like I said in Lammy's
Stage 5, the game should have come with a funny disclaimer, "No trees or
animals were harmed in the making of this game."  Again, the U.S. didn't want
children to become lumberjacks and causing the destruction of forests, so
instead, the game developers and producers had to change a few words in Lyric
#1, but in #2, rather than alter a few words, they had to change the whole darn
lyric!  Both are to ensure that they no longer apply to "chopping down trees
for fun".  Once again, Everett Bradley and John Simpson III were summoned to
reprise their roles in the toned-down song.  And I suppose that the game
developers are trying to make the game eco-friendly for children, just like Joe
Chin's Foundation for Natural Preservation in the "Stage 4: Intermission" 
intro.  :P  But whatever, we're moving on to the last one...

VI. PARAPPA: STAGE 5

This one is the final part of all.  And yes, that one is similar to Lammy's
Stage 6 in that Teriyaki Yoko is back.  But unlike said stage, instead of one
lyrical difference, there are two (that's right, two!) of them like in
Parappa's previous stage.  And both are in Parappa's version of "Taste of
Teriyaki" in both versions of the game:

1.
 U.S.: You don't wanna see me get hurt, my friend's been mean to me, that's for
       sure.
Orig.: You don't wanna see me get hurt, the angel's been mean to me, that's for
       sure.

2.
 U.S.: If I can have, have another wish, I want a man to join my next dish.
Orig.: If I can have, have another wish, I want the devil to join my next dish.

Now this seems to be new, in that Lyric #2 immediately follows Lyric #1.  And
once again, the reason for these lyrical differences is that in the original 
version both involve not just the devil, but something else, too.  Yes, the 
word "angel" is still kept intact in both versions, but it's just that the 
original one had the same word in Lyric #1.  Once again, the U.S. didn't want 
children to play the game and put religion in the wrong hands by implying about
angels being mean to people, which could refer to "mean angels" meaning "dark 
angels", and dark angels = demons.  So once again, the game developers not only
rewrote the lyrics in order not to make them refer to the devil, but replaced 
the word "angel" with the words "My friend" in Lyric #1, to make the song sound
more like a down-to-earth love song instead of a religious, problematic one.  
And once again, Carla Cook and John Simpson III were summoned to reprise their 
roles in the toned-down song.  Again, why they still kept the phrase "I'm gonna
be the angel's next pick," but not the phrase "The angel's been mean to me," is
way beyond me.  :P

VII. LAMMY/PARAPPA STAGE SONG HYBRIDS

I suppose there is one more thing I want to tell you about, namely, that there
are the Lammy/Parappa stage song hybrids from Stage 1 to Stage 6.  At first,
you all thought there is nothing new or different in these hybrids.  However,
what you are missing out on are the Hybrid Stages 4 and 5.  Stage 4 is the same
old Paul Chuck stage, and right in between the singing and the rapping in both
versions there is a difference in the lyric, which is the same as, namely,
Lyric #2 in Parappa's solo Stage 4:

 U.S.: Rolling up high in the sun.
Orig.: Choppin' down trees, just for fun.

And in the Hybrid Stage 5 with Teriyaki Yoko?  That's right, it's the lyrical
difference in both versions which is the same as Lyric #1 in Parappa's solo
Stage 5:

 U.S.: You don't wanna see me get hurt, my friend's been mean to me, that's for
       sure.
Orig.: You don't wanna see me get hurt, the angel's been mean to me, that's for
       sure.

All of these reasons for these differences are best explained in Parappa's
Stages 4 and 5 that I've referred to in the last two segments in this chapter
shown above.  Now I know that Paul Chuck's lyrics rhymed in the original
version of the game ("Rockin' to the beat of the sun. / Choppin' down trees,
just for fun."), but having him sing/rap, "Rockin' to the beat of the sun. /
Rolling up high in the sun" in the U.S. version?!  That kind of makes no sense 
to me.  In fact, it is so weird and senseless, that it makes me want to laugh 
out loud so hard it would make me lose concentration on the call-and-response 
hybrid.  Also, even the same lyric after "Jammin', hard slammin', loud banging"
in either version of this song makes me LOL more and more, which makes me feel
like "Power Off, Power On!" is a laugh more in the U.S. version than in the 
original one.  And in the weird bubblegum pop/haunting slow jazz rap hybrid of 
"Taste of Teriyaki", even trying to blend the song with the rap by mixing the 
first half of the rhyme from Lammy's version with the whole rhyme from 
Parappa's version feels kind of... blah.  Examples: "I know you're the wild and
violent flame. / 'Cuz I know that you're gonna behave, like a child from the 
world way up above," "It might be you, or maybe you, my mind is jumping back 
and forth and up and down. / You don't wanna see me get hurt, [my friend's/the 
angel's] been mean to me, that's for sure" (whichever version of the game you 
played :P ), "I'm talking 'bout a lot of fire. / Staying close and in the fire"
(well, at least "fire" kind of rhymes with "fire" :P ), and "Forever and ever. 
/Always the strong defending."  Whichever version it is, this song hybrid feels
more like a laugh for being freaky, and mixing either a down-to-earth love song
or a religious, problematic love song with the same kind of rap feels like
mixing Stephen Sondheim with Linkin Park on an acid trip, if you ask me.  XD

And that wraps up my explanation for the differences between the U.S. and the
Japan/PAL versions of the game.  If you are still curious and want to play both
versions of the game, then let me tell you that both versions are pretty much
rare, and can be hard to come by, so if you happen to find both versions on
either Amazon or eBay, or in some rare classic video game store, I suggest you
buy both versions and play them just for a little experimentation.  Believe me,
you'll be surprised to find that experimenting both versions with song and
story differences can be quite fun to come by!  ^_^


# 5. Updates and Revisions #

Version 1.0:
8/7/2009 - Game Script started.
8/21 - Lammy's Story started.  So far I'm making a few tweaks here and there,
especially since I'm still having problems with Lammy's answering machine voice
and the "Treasure" song.
8/31 - Lammy's Story completed.  And just in time for voice actress and "Grey's
Anatomy" star Sara Ramirez's 34th birthday!  Feliz cumpleanos ("Happy birthday"
in Spanish), Sara and Lammy!  ;)
9/1 - Parappa's Side Quest started.
9/5 - Parappa's Side Quest completed.
9/6 - Miscellany started.
9/8 - Miscellany completed, with almost all of the Cool Mode and Game Over
scripts done.
9/9 - Script differences started.
9/10 - Game Script finally completed.

Version 1.25
9/18-9/22 - Fixed a lot of tweaks here and there.  Also added the full version 
of "Keep Your Head Up" and the Lammy/Parappa Stage Song Hybrids for fun.  I'll
try to find the rest of the Cool Mode Scripts, as well as the Cool Mode Failure
ones.  :)

Version 1.3
9/26-10/3 - Finished all of the Cool Mode Scripts.  Still looking for the rest
of the Cool Mode Failure Scripts.  
12/15 - Added the European end credits and fixed many more tweaks here and 
there.

Version 1.32
2/12-2/15/2010 - Nothing much, except that I fixed more tweaks and added the
Cool Mode Failure Script for Paul Chuck's stage.


# 6. Thanks #

My thanks go out to all the YouTube fans who helped me out in writing this
script by recording both versions of this game and posting their videos onto
YouTube in clips, without which my game script would not have been possible:

aerolithoz: For the Cool Mode Script for Lammy's Stages 2 and 3.
bloodspittinglizard: For Paul Chuck's Cool Mode Failure Script.
ChocoToken: For the Cool Mode Script for Lammy's Stage 7 and Parappa's Stages
4, 5, and 6, and for the Game Over Script for Parappa's Stage 2.
DerfsonicGaming: For the whole Parappa Side Quest, including the intros.
duntewii60: For the entire script of Lammy's Story, including the revised
lyrics for Stages 1, 5, and 6, the lyrics for "Treasure" in the intro for Stage
3, the U.S. credits at the end of the game, and the revised intros for Stages 6
and 7.
ectoboy9999: For the Cool Mode Script for Parappa's Stage 2.
HigherPlainGames: For the original intros for Lammy's Stages 6 and 7, for the
European credits at the end of this game, for the original lyrics for Parappa's
Stage 4 song, for the Lammy/Parappa Stage Song Hybrids, and for the Game Over 
Scripts for Parappa's Stages 1, 3, 4, 5, and 6.
LordOfTheBlocks: For the Cool Mode Scripts for Lammy's Stages 1, 4, 5, and 6.
MaximilianX: For helping me out on the sound clarity for Lammy's answering
machine on her phone in Stage 2, and for the clarity of the lyrics for
"Treasure" in the intro for Stage 3.
Remmeth: For Teriyaki Yoko's Cool Mode Failure Script.
RhythmAndMusic: For the full version of "Keep Your Head Up".
shadowmylove: For all of the Game Over Scripts for Lammy's Story.
Smasher6425: For the Cool Mode Script for Parappa's Stage 3.
zoton27: For the Cool Mode Script for Parappa's Stage 1.

Also, thanks go out to:
GameSpot: For the differences between both versions of the song "Keep Your Head
Up" in the end credits in all versions of the game. 
Wikipedia: For finding the names of all the songs in the Original Soundtrack
for Um Jammer Lammy, and for more info on the game and its characters.

And special thanks go to the guys at GameFAQs for helping me out on the game
script:

Holy_Bins: For telling me what Lammy's Stage 7 and Parappa's Stage 6 look like
in Cool Mode.
Jacko: For the original lyrics for Lammy's Stages 1, 5, and 6.
Ryouga: For the original lyrics for Parappa's Stage 5, and for the remaining
lyrics for "Treasure", and the lyrics for "Casino in My Hair", and "Keep Your 
Head Up".

Finally, my thanks go to GameFAQs for hosting the guides and being a great 
resource on the Internet; and to all the other in-depth FAQ writers and game
script writers for a good deal of inspiration!  You guys are the best!

Copyright (c) 2009-2010 by Deborah L. Kearns