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Kifflom! (30 G)
Kifflom! (30 G) Complete your path to enlightenment... Or not.
Latest update by CMBF
on Oct 3rd 2013
Just an observation but putting this total rip on Scientology in the game as a mission AND as an Achievement was a very ballsy thing for Rockstar to do so kudos to them. Particularly when you consider how much the members of that cult like to sue people. Really, considering that they sue over really dumb things like public comments it is just, well, ballsy!
This Achievement is part of a side-quest for Mike in which he begins the long and expensive process of becoming a member of Scien.. Err... Epsilon. Yeah, Epsilon.
I. Flagging the Side-Mission
This starts out with Mike having to donate a lot of money -- but eventually he ends up having to steal for the cult -- err -- religion... Steal cars. Expensive cars and rare cars -- and a motorcycle. But we are getting ahead of ourselves...
This side-mission begins in a manner very much unlike all of the others in the game as it is NOT an icon on the screen type deal. Instead playing as Mike you need to open his iPhone and select the web browser, then type EPSILON into the search bar.
You then want to click on the first site that comes up in the search results -- the one for Epsilon -- and once that page loads, you need to take the “test” on the page. It appears that the answers do not come in right or wrong flavors so you can be creative or funny with your answers, however you like.
Once the test has been completed and scored you get a text message inviting you to donate to and join the cult. This takes the form of a new Strangers and Freaks Mission that appears up in the hills and -- when you get there and approach the red truck that is parked there you have an “encounter” that results in a morning after much like my average Sunday morning while I was a uni student...
II. First Donation
Later that day Mike will get an email asking him to donate $500 to the cult. Do that via the website, and then the next mission will unlock after a bit of time passed.
III. Second Donation
When the next Epsilon Icon appears on the map head there (it is in Los Santos) and have another encounter after which Mike will be prompted to make a $5K donation via the site. Do that.
IV. Gone in 60 Seconds
Eventually you will get a text for the next mission which requires Mike to deliver a specific list of five vehicles to the designated garage for the cult. You could buy the more expensive ones if you like but it is pretty easy to steal them -- just saying -- and a lot cheaper!
You will be sent a photo of each vehicle to your cellphone in order to help track them down.
The five vehicles that they want are:
One of these can be found in a parking lot in a cul-de-sac in the Lake Vinewood Estates -- check your map. This is a relatively uncommon vehicle so you will want to get the one here.
One of these is located in the parking lot at the DJE Garage (Domestic, Japanese, European) in Harwick which is about two blocks to the east of the Ammunation there -- but considering how common this car is you really should have no trouble finding one.
Enus Super Diamond:
Here is another not so common model of ride -- but you can find one parked behind Leopold's on Dorset Drive in Rockford Hills -- which is around three blocks to the south of the Ponsonbys Boutique in that neighborhood. Considering how uncommon these are we suggest getting that one.
One of these is parked in front of the Lifeinvader Building in Del Perro Blvd and as this is a bit uncommon we suggest you get that one.
Another uncommon and expensive (relatively speaking) ride, you can find one of these parked on Wild Oats Drive in Vinewood Hills. It is in a residential neighborhood but parked right off the street and you can grab it with no worries or cops involved.
Note: If you decide to purchase one of these to fulfill the misc action required make sure you have an open slot in Mike's garage first since the cars you buy are sent there (not the garage at his house mind you, the one in town that can hold five vehicles).
V. Third Donation
Following the car delivery mission you get another brief quest that results in Mike being instructed to make TWO donation of $5K each to the cult. Do that.
VI. Fourth (Robe) Donation
When the next mission icon appears on the map you will meet the pair of gurus at a storage room in a shop in Vinewood and they will talk to you and then you are told to purchase a set of robes from the Epsilon website. These will cost you $25,000 and will be delivered the next day after you order them.
The next day after you get the text message informing you that the robes have been delivered, go to Mike's house and into his closet and have him change into the new baby-blue outfit, then have him sleep in his bed for 10 days.
Basically you can cause 6-hours to pass by entering the save system at his bed and then backing out (hitting B) without actually saving. The 6-hours will pass whether you save or not. You need to do that 40 times in order for 10 days to pass, and once the 10 days pass, a new Epsilon icon will appear on the map.
VII. Plane Delivery Mission
The next day Mike will get a text to do another mission -- head to the icon on the map near the military base and you will find a baby-blue plane waiting for you there. Get in that after talking to the cult member and fly it to Trevor's airport, where you will turn the plane over to Jimmy Boston the cult celeb and he will fly it off. That completes this quest.
VIII. Wandering in the Desert
First, make sure that you are wearing the Blue Cult Robes BEFORE you go to the icon for this next mission. When you get there your progress will be evaluated and you will be instructed to wander in the desert for 5 miles.
You do not actually have to wander 5-miles in the desert, you just have to walk five miles in the desert inside the specified area. So walk a little way in and then run in circles for five miles and that will take care of this very strange quest element!
The next (and last) mission will be to visit the Epsilon Headquarters and Center in town where a car is waiting for you with a little over 2 million dollars in its trunk -- you are supposed to follow the security detail (there are actually two details, one in front of you and one behind) to the copter that the money is supposed to be transferred to.
If you do that mission the way that it is set out you will deliver the money and get a cheap reward. On the other hand you can still complete this side-mission, unlock the Achievement AND keep the money if you want to -- and we suggest that this is the way to go!
To do it and keep the money, when you get to the copter location DO NOT park the car on the marker.
Instead step out of the car before it reaches the marker, quickly blow up the copter with your Grenade Launcher, jump in the car and outrun the cult security details and the cops, and voila! You complete the mission, unlock the Achievement AND get a little over $2m added to your bank account!
You can kill the security detail if you want, but doing that plus blowing up the copter will give you a pretty high wanted level which makes ditching the cops a bit more tedious. Alternatively you can just run once the detail reaches the copter site, evade the cars, then go into a parking garage to evade the cult copter, and finish the mission that way with the same results.